30 October 2019

Potato mode: on


Initially just wanted to take a day leave to attend elder son's graduation this Friday.

But when I saw that my annual leave accumulation is nearing the limit and will soon burn, I thought what the heck, and took two more days.

So starting tomorrow, I have five days break including the weekend. =D

My plan is to stay home and be a potato, hehe.

Slacker for the win!

I am an introvert, nerdy, geeky spud and proud of it! =P

Anyway, potato mode is officially on.



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28 October 2019

An aeroplane a day, part twelve


Copyright:

LEGO is trademark or registered trademark of The LEGO Group in Denmark and/or other countries.

All original work on this site is copyright C.K. Goh and may not be copied or reprinted without my express written approval.

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Workshop: |1| |2| |3| |4| |5| |6|

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It has been a long time since I last did anything with LEGO, three years and three months according to the date of the last LEGO blog.

The kids have outgrown LEGO, preferring computer and television, anything with a screen I suppose.

A shame really, I truly believe LEGO is for all ages.

It's really an outlet for creativity, think tool instead of toy if that makes you feel better.

front view of the six vehicles

Anyway, elder son being away on school trip this long weekend, I thought I should do something with the younger son so he won't be bored without his brother around.

So I drafted an idea of a multiple vehicles LEGO project where the vehicles can combine with one another to form a bigger vehicle, so we both can work on different vehicles at the same time.

You know, interactive father and son bonding time, that sort of thing.

rear view of the six vehicles

Well, he was keen and interested for like fifteen minutes, as soon as wifey was out with her mobile phone he glued to her side watching whatever she was watching on her phone.

Then the television. Yea, oh well...

combined

Since I have started, I damn well will finish it.

So I spent two days working on it and think I did a decent job, worthy of sharing. ^_^

different combination

I called them tanks, but probably armoured combat vehicles are more appropriate since they have wheels instead of tracks.

All of them have rotating turret with either large-calibre gun, cannon, missile launcher or sonic weaponry (like sonic tank in Dune!).

Two of them can change their weapon angle of elevation for anti-air warfare.

many possible combinations

Since the design intent is to allow the vehicles to combine in any number or configuration, the connecting mechanism is the same and of the same level despite the different vehicle heights.

The exceptions are (1) the orange vehicle has no front connecting mechanism so can only be the front vehicle, (2) the red and white vehicles can only be connected to the yellow vehicle.


While didn't really have that father and son bonding time, but I did enjoy creating these tanks.

So that's something, at least.


25 October 2019

有感而发:我有这样一群朋友


二零一九年十月二十五日。

我有这样一群同事朋友,都不知道算不算深交、还是志同道合?

总之在一起开心快乐,至少我是这么觉得。

不同背景、不同层次、不同喜好、不同品味、不同价值观、不同性格。

但看到他们我的嘴角会自动上扬、心里会不禁喜悦。


有些曾经是同部门的,有些不是。

有些有一起工作过,有些从来没有。

共同点应该是那些工作以外的康乐活动,如羽球、桌上游戏、唱歌。

都是一起玩过的、疯过的、笑过的。


开始那些康乐活动,是我非常庆幸自己做过的事。

还真的没想过,那些打羽球认识的陌生人竟然会成为这么靠近的朋友。

毕竟我是个有点反社会、反交际的宅男,社交活动不多。

而几乎我所有的社交活动,就是和这群同事朋友一起。


当然可能只是朋友不多的我的自作多情啦…

情谊本来就不是对等的,友情深度不是相对的。

每个人在别人的心中有不同的位子。

不是你把别人看得很重他或她就同等的看重你。


但那不是这文章的重点。

重点是换了部门后的我,远离了这一群朋友。

鲜少有互动,好久不见了。

我想念他们。


我知道就算是见了面自己也不知道该做些什么。

交际不是我的强项。

但我知道见到他们我心里会是舒畅雀跃的。

那应该就足够了。



有感而发 |系列|


21 October 2019

Untitled


This entry was completed on 24th of July 2012, seven years ago.

Don't know why I never posted it. I didn't titled it, so I shall keep it that way.


Sudden gush of great love for Hsiang...

H: "Who's Sabrina?"

J: "Aunty Josie's sister, she is going to have a baby."

H: "Are you going to have a baby?"

J: "No, I don't think so."

H: "Why not?"

J: "Why do you want a baby?"

H: "It's nice to have a baby."

J: "Do you want to have a baby girl or a baby boy?"

H: "Baby girl." (Sudden huge increase in love for Hsiang)

J: "Why baby girl? Isn't it nice to have a baby boy to play with you? Like didi."

H: "Baby girl is cute." (Another huge increase in love for Hsiang)

J: "What about you Young Young, you want a didi or a meimei?"

Y: "Didi."

H: "No didi, a meimei is better."

Y: "Okay then, meimei." (So easily swayed...)

J: "It's going to be difficult to take care of you, didi and a baby."

H: "Yea, it's going to be difficult." (Sounded like an adult)

J: "Are you going to help taking care of didi if mummy is busy taking care of baby?"

H: "Sure!"



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19 October 2019

Funny naming convention


Had a funny WhatsApp group conversation a few days back, where a typo turned into a hilarious naming convention.

Usually, I would just save screenshots of the conversation and post them as one of the 'Backlogs' series some time in the future.

Like in a few months, or more likely, after a few years.

But anyway, while I did the screenshots, I simply don't see how I can post them and still retain a meaningful entry without exposing the friends involved.

And yea, I started to be privacy conscious a few years back so I am not about to change that for one entry, hilarious though it may be.

So here I am, trying to reproduce the gist of that conversation without exposing any identity.

Don't blame me if smart people figured it out ya...


Let me just start with what I said more than a decade ago, that you should really question the identity of the person you think is me whom you are having an instant messaging conversation with when he does not make any typo.

Because making typos is like, my speciality. =P

So there I was, typing away on my observation that the people in the same group as one of my colleague friends seem to become the same body shape as that colleague friend...

And well, 'I' and 'O' being next to each other on Qwerty keyboard, I made a typo of the colleague's name, keyed 'O' where it should have been 'I'.

Another colleague friend with his unique sense of humour caught the typo and asked if I purposely changed the 'I' in the name to 'O' to symbolise growing horizontally?

To which we laughed, and sparked a new naming convention since so coincidentally all those in the chat group have either 'I' or 'O' or both in our names.

It's also doubly funny because the typo'd name I made also happens to have the right meaning in Hokkien. =P

I hope you have friends who have 'I' and/or 'O' in their names, then you can use this naming convention for laugh.

It's straight forward really:

(1) if we maintain our body size, we use our name

(2) if we become fatter, we replace the 'I' in the name with 'O'

(3) if we grow fatter still, or if there's no 'I' but only 'O' in the name, we add an additional 'O'

(4) similarly, if we become thinner, we replace the 'O' in the name with 'I'

(5) and if we become thinner still, or if there's no 'I' in the name, we take away the 'I', meaning you lose the 'I' character in the name

It's really simple but in case you are unclear, here are some examples:

Adrian Wong becomes fatter, he becomes Adroan Woong.

Adroan Woong becomes fatter still, he becomes Adrooan Wooong.

Adroan Woong slims down, he becomes Adrian Wong.

Adrian Wong slims down further, he becomes Adran Wing.

Now go have some laughters. =P



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16 October 2019

我和忧郁症


又一位明星因为忧郁症自杀,唉…

当然其实有很多不为人知,因为忧郁症而结束自己生命的人的事件,毕竟忧郁症病患者很多,而我们不都是有名的人。


我有忧郁症,从来没有否认过。

不必在乎别人怎么想、怎么看,忧郁症就是一种病,如此而已。

天天都有人生病,生病一点都不奇怪。

那些带有色眼光看待病人的人才奇怪,不过没必要为此烦恼,毕竟那是他们自己的问题,不是我们的问题。

况且,我们应该为了自己而活,而不是为了别人而活、活在别人眼底。

真的,这很重要。


我从来没有避忌告诉别人我有忧郁症,因为那是事实,而我是坦白直接的人。

别误会,不是期望别人的同情可怜什么的,就是没有必要隐瞒的事,如此而已。

就好像我没有避忌告诉别人我喜欢吃巧克力一样。

对我来说都是分享事实而已,没什么大不了。

我就是我,我是这样就是这样。

别人要怎么看待,不是我能控制的事,所以与我无关。


其实,就是一种让你知道的心态。

我根本不相信别人能做些什么。

我根本不相信没有忧郁症的人会明白。

我不讲,你绝不会知道。

因为有忧郁症的人从日常的言行举止中是看不出来的。

我讲了,你依旧不能了解,除非你和我一样有忧郁症。


如果你有忧郁症,我衷心希望你已经找到合适自己患病时的应付方法。

当然,第一步是正视它、接受它,而不是否认和绝口不提。

逃避现实是无济于事的。

说过了,忧郁症就是一种病,如此而已。

生病了就看医生,正常人都是这么做的。


如果你和我一样不正常,不喜欢看医生(也不是很相信医生)的话,那就等它自己痊愈啰…

我很乐意分享对我有效的方法,让你借镜,但我还是要强调你应该找出合适你自己患病时的应付方法。

因为我们都不一样。


忧郁症来袭,无法预料、无法阻拦。

我就是接受,哦,又生病了。

不强求快快痊愈,就是真心相信总会好起来的。

这么多年、这么多次,时间长短不一样,但每次来了都是有走了的时候。

生活一样过,就是累点、能量低点。

生病都是这样的,不是吗?


生病了有人关怀呵护对我来说是很暖心的事。

当然,要的是那些真心的关爱。

对假情假意,一切假的东西都很反感。

忧郁症来袭时,更加不想接触虚伪假意的人和事。

除了不想浪费已经很低的能量以外,也知道自己只会对人更失望。

只会令自己更忧郁。


我喜欢拥抱,拥抱让我感觉良好。

忧郁时我特别需要拥抱。

有单方的搂抱,也有双方的互拥,我心里体会的感受是不一样的。

想要时、需要时有人可以拥抱对我很重要。

梦寐以求的当然是就算没有需要时爱人都会自动拥抱我…


曾经,我会找人谈谈心、聊聊天。

如果倾诉能让你释怀好过,找些对的谈心对象吧。

那些真的懂得聆听的人,真的要和你分享分担的人。

不是那些一味想替你解决问题的人,那些话不投机的人。

当然若倾诉畅谈不是能令你纾解的方法,或是找不到对的人,那就不要让自己更累。


由衷希望你可以找到对的谈心对象。

遗憾的是忧郁症的来袭是无法预料的,很少人会随时放下一切来给你关注的。

还有人是有情绪波动的,人是会变的。

对不起其实我是对人越来越失望了的。

但那不是重点,重点是要有些不依靠别人,自己就能舒缓忧郁低落的方法。


为自己而活,不要期望别人会明白,不要希望别人会帮忙。

有真心关怀爱护的人当然好,但尽量不要依赖别人。

因为再亲的人,也不会真的明白,也不能无时无刻在你身旁,也会有让你失望的时候。

相信我,再错的时刻,那沮丧是会让你崩溃的。


要有自己一个人可以做的爱好,喜欢的活动。

我喜欢看书,玩电脑游戏,还有睡觉。

都是不需要别人的活动。

让自己迷失在书啊、游戏啊的虚幻世界里,或梦乡里。

不一定会让自己快乐起来,但至少可以忘记忧郁一阵子。


还有就是训练自己的自律,和做个有原则的人。

在很消极的时候,自律和原则是帮得上大忙的。

比如说运动流流汗对我来说也是个很好的感觉。

但能量低时、心情低落时很可能根本提不起劲去运动,这样的时候平时修炼的自律就很有帮助了。

有自律的人比较容易控制自己的思维和言行举止,这是很重要的。


如果你是有原则的人,而你其中一个原则就是要爱惜生命,不伤害生命…

相信我,我当然也有看着天台、看着窗口,想像跳下去的时候。

我当然也有想过什么方法结束自己的生命最不痛苦的时候。

但结束生命是违背我的原则的。

或许,当我连原则都可以放弃的那一天…

嗯,不去想这个。


已经写得太长了,我知道。

忧郁症也不过是一种病,不要在意别人怎么讲、怎么说的。

反正没有忧郁症的人不会懂,我们也不为别人而活。

生病了就求医待痊愈吧,发烧感冒时不是也这样吗?

会有一大堆消极悲观黑暗的思维、会无法维持快乐,没关系的,生病了是这样的。

多做自己喜欢的事,会令自己快乐的事。

如果喜欢交际,多参那些令你舒服快乐的人。

谈天谈心,有忧郁症不是羞耻的事,远离那些这么认为的人。

远离那些消耗自己能量又给你负面情绪的人和事。

生病罢了嘛,会好的。



心语细述 |系列|


14 October 2019

Victory!


Made relatively small changes to a complicated thermal model last Thursday, to reflect the newly obtained, more accurate representation of a component in the system.

And it has been giving me issue since, solution kept diverging.

Urgh! >_<

So I tried. And tried. And tried some more, to fix it.

I generated this model from scratch, I know it inside out, it's in the 11th revision already, with many sub-revisions, and has provided more than a hundred configurations worth of predictions for our ideas and optimisations.

One hundred is just a conservative estimate by the way, since I have truly lost count.

So I take it as an insult that it is broken now, and I damn well going to make it work again.

Challenge accepted!

It thwarted me three times, but after two major reconstructions, the last being rather radical, I cracked it!

Victory is mine! =D

Gotta celebrate all these small victories, and learn to derive happiness and satisfaction from our work.

Just because I have depression doesn't mean I cannot be positive. ;)



Other |temperamental thoughts| category entries.


12 October 2019

A long week


It has been a long week.

So very tired.

Haven't actually been the longest working hours week, I have worked longer hours in a week before.

Actually I have worked longer hours in more than a week continuously before, working full time through the weekend and all that, so it's not really the matter of working hours.

But definitely felt most exhausted, until I had to break my routine and forced a slower pace for two days in this week.

Never happened before the whole year, until this week.

Is my body trying to tell me something?

Perhaps it's the state of mind, or simply because my health is not as before.

It's actually pretty fruitful in terms of work, making good progress.

Colleagues were very receptive of our proposal and trying to make it happen.

That's actually quite unexpected, was expecting resistance to be honest.

But goodness I am tired.

I don't really know why.

Perhaps I have just been busy for too long...



Other |temperamental thoughts| category entries.


09 October 2019

Tarnished


"Reputation? What reputation?"

That's my standard answer when people said I have to take care of my image or reputation.

For I like to think that I have none, or more appropriately, don't care.

That applies to all the goody goody nice nice stuff, because when I really think about it, I do have two that I put in effort to maintain.

(1) Evil overlord, and (2) slacker extraordinaire.

Yup, I do care about those. =P

The thing with being a man of principle is that people will rub it in when for some reason I lapsed.

For example when I had to work overtime.

Gotta remember to stay offline, or at least appear to be offline when I have to work overtime.

Else some colleagues (stalkers?) would notice and bring it up, sometimes even associate with their imagined effect, like the rise and drop of company share price.

For the record I insist that the share price will drop if I had to work overtime, because of the negative grudge I generate. Those others who started this imagined correlation insist that the share price will go up when I work overtime.

Oh well, makes perfect sense that crazy person (me) has crazy friends... =P

Just so you know, slacker extraordinaire is a responsible person, who will do the occasional overtime when it's like, really necessary.

Okay fine, since I joined this new department I have been doing way too many overtime.

This one is on me, my bad. I am so lame, so ashamed of myself. =(

I am now slacker slightly less than extraordinary. =P


May as well bring up that typical human behaviour of taking things for granted, of ignoring and not appreciating the multitude of good deeds but remembering and highlighting the one bad deed.

I am sure my overtime is still less than my normal working hours days. (er... I think...)

Don't see them mentioning and praising me for maintaining that, pfft!

Oh, and remember, remember, that I am not bad, just evil.

Yes I am.



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06 October 2019

亲子活动


自从介绍大瓜玩暗黑破坏神后,竟变成预料之外的亲子活动。

原本一开始只是随便玩玩当作简单的介绍,让大瓜看看这游戏是怎么玩的。

两个瓜竟然很喜欢看我玩,尤其是那还太小不适合玩的小瓜。

小瓜很不给哥哥面子的说不喜欢看哥哥玩,因为他很差,爸爸玩比较好看。

呃… 我有经验了嘛,我也还真的是不错下的玩家啦…

每每我在大客厅的电脑玩这电脑游戏时,两个瓜就会围过来看。

看人玩电脑游戏很爽的咩?

怎么都好,竟然变成一种亲子活动,他们不管看多少次都还是有一大堆的问题好问的。

问题双瓜。

还有就是当大瓜玩的时候,我都是放弃做任何事,就乖乖呆在他旁边好了。

免得他那大喊大叫的呼唤求救什么的,左邻右舍都知道他在玩游戏,还玩得很不行那种。 *汗*

孩子,游戏是可以暂停的啦… 暂停了再来询问我或叫我过去行不行?

自己想办法解决那难题不是更有成就感吗?

你老爸是自己想出办法应付那些难缠的敌人的哦。

现在的年轻人,连玩游戏都要捷径,唉…

怎么都好啦,这样的亲子活动还不错下,呵呵! =P



随兴随想 |系列|


03 October 2019

If only


If only there is more team spirit and less selfishness and personal agenda.

Free of office politics.

Everyone for the company, and share the achievement.

If only real contribution and effort could be duly noted and recognised, instead of the loudest, the most pompous, or the most well-linked.

Recognise the whole team instead of the selected few.

If only there were no free loaders, dead weights, empty barrels.

Genuinely share the knowledge, the know-how, the good and the bad.

Teach and learn from each other.

If only...

Yea.


Always know and actively avoid the office politics wherever possible, and no, I am not writing this because of anything specific.

Just been hearing it a lot lately from the others.



Other |temperamental thoughts| category entries.