随想

农历新年我拿了四天假期。

家人没有回来，所以我们到娘家过年。

假期一转眼就要结束，明天要开长途车回家了。

今晚有个生日晚餐，明天傍晚有个聚会。

希望那之后就可以好好的休息一天才开工。

都是自己的床比较好睡的…

从除夕一直吃到现在，衣服有点窄的感觉。

应该是用他州的水洗衣做到衣服缩水的关系咯…

怎样都好，开工后要勤劳的打羽球。

随兴随想 |系列|

Happy Rooster Year

Happy Chinese New Year!

It's the year of the rooster and I am spending the holiday at the in-laws'.

So far I have been doing a lot of eating, sitting around, eating, reading, eating, a bit of gaming, eating, and erm... more eating.

That's why we need to exercise: so that we can spend the money eating instead of buying larger size clothes, hehe. =P

Oh, and something about stress relief, staying healthy, that kind of fancy and glamour-coated stuff.

Anyway, a lot of eating but no exercise these few days, so the waistline is very, er... prosperous.

Meh, I will worry about that after the holiday, hehe! =P

May you have a wonderful, healthy and prosperous year. =)

Other |enjoyable events| category entries.

SoulBot-VI

The computer wifey has been using died a few months back, I think it's motherboard related problem so we are giving up on it.

Blessed her patience, wifey agreed to wait until the new year to get her new computer, she had been surviving with her smartphone and tablet the past few months.

Since this is for wifey and it's not a gaming rig, we went with Intel Next Unit of Computing (NUC), a powerful computer, just without a dedicated graphic card. While my current gaming machine, SoulBot-V, is a beast, this new computer, named SoulBot-VI, looks real delicate by comparison.

 very easy to assemble, not many parts after all

This compact computer has an i7-6770HQ processor, I bought 16GB of DDR4 2133MHz memory and 256GB of solid state hard disk to go with it. The onboard Intel Iris Pro graphic 580 should be sufficient for what wifey uses the computer for: mainly surfing the net and watching drama online.

Instead of recycling the old collaterals, we bought a 24" LED monitor as well as a new keyboard, so we only reuse the mouse and speakers this round. This is the first HDMI monitor in the house.

in case you are wondering, the NUC is the one between the monitor and keyboard. Yup, that's the computer

Hope this system will last us some years. The unit is smaller than my laptop!

Other |hyped up heads up| category entries.

Pretty versus familiar face

It's natural for a heterosexual person to be attracted by a pretty face of the opposite gender. A straight guy likes looking at beautiful ladies while a straight lady likes looking at handsome guys.

Though I find it interesting that when someone became a close friend, the familiar face that gives you a warm and genuine smile, is a lot more attractive than just any pretty face of a stranger.

Perhaps it's just me, but when I become close to a person, the physical appearance doesn't seem to matter anymore, I see the inner beauty instead. So all those friendly familiar faces become pleasant to my eyes, they become 'good looking' in a sense, because it's nice seeing them.

A warm, comfortable sight.

On the other hand, there are people with pretty face but heinous personality, and that's just ugly. No amount of makeup or surgery can make such shallow person beautiful. It's the inner beauty that counts.

Anyway, just like to say that with the advance of makeup, plastic surgery, and photo editing software and skill, not all pretty faces you see is actually real.

Natural is beautiful, I do sincerely believe so.

Other |temperamental thoughts| category entries.

心的频道：心墙

去年，我把自己关了起来。

不再主动去关心别人，也不主动开始联系什么的。

把围绕心的那幅墙强化巩固，只在乎那些已经在墙内的朋友。

是一个自我修养和休息，以自己为主的一年。

因为心累了。

去年年尾，很偶然的一个机缘，和一位朋友谈开了。

谈天、谈人生、谈心。

那感觉很好，也久违了。

也是那时惊觉，其实自己不是很认识那些常常在一起的朋友。

难道现在已经没有深交的朋友了吗？

所以我开始，慢慢去探索、接触、寻觅。

可以谈天的人，可以谈心的人，值得深交的人。

我开始，主动去关心，主动去联络。

慢慢来，我告诉我自己。

不要再把心弄垮了。

心墙还在。

只是偶尔我会跨出去探试，去轻轻地碰一碰。

看看是对的吗？

关心下、在乎下那些值得关心在乎的朋友。

让心饱满些。

心的频道 |系列|

Returned

Meant to post this a few weeks ago but kept on ended up posting something else instead.

This was drafted slightly more than two weeks ago on the last day of 2016.

Anyway...

What's supposed to be a one month, two months top, relocation ended up being six months. Started 20th of June and by 21st of December, I stopped 'playing it by the ear', sent my recognitions to the colleagues who had worked closely throughout the six months, and returned to ulu place.

Spent the morning of my first day back at my own cubicle cleaning it.

In that six months, a few colleagues left. A new colleague joined our group, then the worst ever departmental reorganisation in my entire career so far happened, which led to that new colleague being under another manager by the time I return.

I went on the relocation feeling being sold, and absolutely disappointed with the management because it's something we forewarned them to learn from experience and avoid doing the same mistake, and they bloody let it happen again. And I was the one who got thrown into the shit pool.

Not impressed.

I returned from the relocation equally disappointed with the management. I pulled the plug myself because the worst reorganisation that happened has left me feeling lost in my career. The first time ever. And enough is enough.

We have no say whatsoever in the reorganisation, and the management has screwed up half of the group with the reorganisation. We are still unclear of our role and responsibilities four months after the reorganisation.

Not impressed.

But nevertheless, it's good to be back with the gang, even though it has become smaller.

Other |temperamental thoughts| category entries.

心的频道：病

信奉睡觉的我，竟然也有巴不得离开床的时候，讲了自己都觉得很丢脸…

但病了瘫死在床上两天三夜后，我今天早上真的很开心可以离开床了。

这样丢脸的事都是不要讲太多次。

喉咙发炎，鼻塞，流鼻水，发高烧。我这个身体，一过了 38.5 摄氏就会开始肌肉和关节疼痛。

死尸那样在床上，没劲、乏力，靠着退烧药把体温维持在 38 摄氏左右，药力一过体温就飙升，肌肉和关节就开始疼痛。

感觉很惨，但老婆仔仍是一贯的 “伤风感冒罢了嘛，不要像大婴儿那样。”

人家就是生病时特别需要有人关心照顾，我觉得很合理嘛，不过分咯…

有忧郁症的人想自己生命的结束一点都不新鲜，但我发现我应该是很怕一个人去了，没有老婆仔在身旁*握着我的手，或是死了要很久很久后才被发现。

* 应该是我先去的啦，毕竟我压力比较大，生活又没有老婆仔健康。但是两个瓜在做功课时很努力的气老婆仔，真是的，努力用错地方了啦！

发烧时可以出汗感觉很好，但躺在湿透的枕头和床褥感觉很不好。

三个夜晚我打死了七只蚊子。新买的电蚊子拍电死六只，我又病又慢的拍死了一只吃得太饱飞不动的，在墙上留下血迹。

我跟你讲，我家的蚊子会隐身术的。大白天不管我们怎么找都找不到它们的，只有夜深人静，大家都沉睡时它们才会现身。吸血也罢了，偏偏它们就是要在耳边飞来飞去吵醒人。

总之，靠！做么家里有那么多蚊子啦！而且全来我房里叮我的？

今天终于能起床和有精神做工，呆在家里做，但我超满意自己的成果。

一口气解决了三样大事，和一些琐琐碎碎的小事，很好的效率咯。有时候健健康康时都不能这样。

我发现齁，原来我需要费很大的劲才能挤出声音的时候，真的是超讨厌那些不让我一口气讲完、一直要打断我的人。

还有我的声音真的是“性感”到自己都顶不顺。

今天傍晚，服用退烧药十二小时后，以为身体已经可以自己维持 38 摄氏以下，却又来个高烧。

唉，希望这是最后一次需要退烧药啦…

真的很想出席明天的一个婚宴。结婚的人不一定会记得我，毕竟他们邀请了很多很多人，但我会记得我出席了他们的婚宴，因为我真的在乎，我要献上我的祝福。

我承认，我就是把友情看得太重。

心的频道 |系列|

有感而发：信仰

二零一七年一月七日。

我不是虔诚的人，我对宗教信仰的概念很淡。

我常说我是没有宗教信仰的人，但那又不完全正确。

我在表格上会填佛教，我也有去庙里拜观音，只是非常的非常少。

家里没有神台什么的，但我每晚睡前会为我家人默默祈祷。

我就是这样一个半信半疑的状态，不抗拒，也不深信。

我不觉得有什么问题。

我个人觉得正宗的宗教都是教人向上向善的，所以我没有任何偏见。

只要不是叫你去杀人放火，做伤天害理的事，任何宗教对我来说都一样。

我明白有些人需要相信有万能强大的神来做他们的精神和心灵的寄托。

也因为这样，宗教信仰是股强大的力量。

强大的力量，和人性的弱点，就会有利用宗教达成个人目的的事。

那些自杀式炸弹引爆者，就是众所周知的例子。

那宗教没错，错的是人。那些利用宗教信仰的力量来达到自己目的的人，和那些不能判辨对错盲目跟从的人。

我可以明白利用宗教信仰的力量来达到自己目的的人，因为越强大的力量就是越好用的工具。

但因为我不是虔诚的人，所以我无法明白那些因为宗教信仰而去做坏事的人。

对我来说，那些人真的是脑袋有问题。

我真的无法理喻。

或许有信仰以外的精神和心灵寄托是好的，不会被歪曲的宗教影响利用。

今天去教堂参加婚礼。

我这应该算是佛教的一点都不避忌，都说了我对宗教信仰的概念很淡。

我有我自己对错的准则，做人待事的原则。我不需要什么神灵宗教来告诉我要从善。

再说我也不会盲目的跟从“不可以接受其它宗教的存在，不可以进入其它宗教的建筑物”这样的东西。

一个不传授和谐和包容的宗教对我来说不是一个好的宗教。

你欢迎我进入你的教堂，我又真诚的想参与你人生这一大事，我就去咯，其它的我没有想过。

婚礼都是感人的，两位相爱的人在家人朋友的见证下互相许下承诺，结成夫妻。

不同的人讲了些有关婚姻的圣经内容的引用，同样的引用听了好几遍。

令我有点皱眉的是怎么都是说成要这样做、要那样做；不要这样做、不要那样做，全是为了主。

做么不可以就是因为那是对的，所以我做；不对的，所以我不做？

不是为了什么神灵，是为了我自己。不是因为怕被什么神灵惩罚，而是因为自己知道是错，所以不做。

什么都讲成是为了主、是因为主，难道没了这主、这信仰，就无法自律自发的做对的事、不做不对的事的吗？

听了几遍后就可以明白为什么有目的的人会用宗教信仰来做工具。

如果信徒的一切言行举止都是为了那个他们相信的，至高无上的神，而不是为了自己的原则的话，那么只要能说服那些信徒一些被包装过的“宗旨”是来自神，就能激发他们的奴性，任由摆布。

那些自杀式炸弹引爆者，应该就是这样来的吧？

宗教信仰真的是股强大的力量。

有感而发 |系列|

Backlogs #16: xiao mei

These are dated 21st of November 2014, they are screenshots from WhatsApp conversation, I saved the screenshots without giving them title.

It's a WhatsApp group for TableTop Gaming, one of my favourite WhatsApp groups. =)

You will need some Chinese and Manglish skill to understand.

I am happy to inform you all that after slightly more than two years since that conversation, we are still fondly calling her xiao mei. ^_^

In this series: |1| |2| |3| |4| |5| |6| |7| |8| |9| |10| |11| |12| |13| |14| |15|

有感而发：感伤（二）

二零一七年一月三日。

又一位朋友离开公司了。

有工作以外互动的同事，算朋友吧？

唔，其实，工作上反倒没有接触过…

是办公室很靠近常常会碰面的同事，被我拉进黑暗的一面，一起玩闹后才变成不只是 “嗨，掰” 的关系。

也不算是很熟的朋友，但我现在几乎对每位同事朋友都这样的感觉…

因为我上个月突然惊觉，其实我对那些常常有互动的同事朋友都认识不多、了解不深。

感觉都是表面上的认识那种，不是深交。

很… 遗憾、可惜、肤浅的一个感觉。

唉…

说回那位离开了的同事朋友。

认识至今已经到了可以玩笑，互相作弄的程度。

碰面有亲切感，坐下来不会感到尴尬，但又不知道该讲些什么那种。

想到以后不会在公司里见到，不会在一起玩桌上游戏就顿时感伤。

离开后一段日子若再相逢不知道会变成怎么样？

总之，要幸福哦！

下个月头又有一位同事朋友要离开了。

有那朋友越来越少的感觉，唉…

有感而发 |系列|

Random behaviour for January 2017

I usually don't write a long entry for impromptu resolution, just report how I did for last month and what's the new resolution for this month, but I have a feeling this one is going to be longish.

December's impromptu resolution was 'to connect', I wrote about it half way through, because this was the one resolution that I really regretted.

I did put in the effort to connect, to reach out, to care, but I am going to say I have failed my December resolution, because initially I intended to connect to many more but in the end I simply gave up. Guess I am just not the person I was. The nice, magnanimous, generous person. No more.

Many thanks to those who reciprocated, also to those who didn't. I know now who to, and who not to spend my time and effort on.

Should really learn my lesson by now, do not set a resolution that relies on other, set something that I can control strictly by myself.

Alrighty, that's for December.

For January, the resolution idea popped into my head on 20th of November, while I was watching Transformer 4: Age of Extinction on my computer, eating chips and drinking Coke. I noted down the idea because it scares me. Initially I wanted to write an entry based on that, but this is it, here's what I have in the beginning of the draft:

A decision started with a thought, an idea.

Impulsive decision making bypasses the careful analysing, weighing and considering thought process, and goes straight to the end.

Like my monthly random resolution, not much thought was given, it's just whatever strikes my fancy at the time or writing.

Anyway, when the idea popped into my mind, I couldn't immediately put that into action, as I do not want to waste stuff. So the resolution would only take effect once my stock is depleted, which happened in December.

Those who know me well will understand how challenging this resolution is for me, because I intended it to be a resolution for the whole year, but I will see how I fare in January first.

For January 2017, started some time in December, my impromptu resolution is: to not have Coke in the house, and to not eat chips for supper.

Because I can, I think...

Other |flickering fling| category entries.