Slower and slower

I am not a fast reader, I usually need around two weeks for a novel.

Last year I dropped to 18 days on average for a book, not a good trend.

This year thus far, I am getting worse, four months in and I have only read four novels.

This is horrible! One month per book, that's so disappointing.

I still read before I sleep every night, so I am not sure what happened.

The fact is, based on the numbers so far, I have become slower.

=(

Other |temperamental thoughts| category entries.

Diablo Immortal: back to wizard

Ya, still playing Diablo Immortal, despite having Diablo IV.

Diablo Immortal caters better for short game time availability compared to Diablo IV, and I suppose I am less attached to my Diablo Immortal characters compared to my Diablo IV characters.

Perhaps because Diablo IV character development has a definite end game, and requires investment in time that I don't usually have, while I have already accepted the fact that Diablo Immortal is a pay to win (P2W) game with no end game but with continuously increasing level cap so people will keep paying to keep up.

Since I do not support that kind of game business model, I am not spending in Diablo Immortal, so I do not expect to have a fair playing field compared to those who spent, and that somehow created the detachment to my character and the game. It's just a quick fix game for me.

Anyway, I started Diablo Immortal with my favourite wizard class, then I created another character in another server as a monk. The monk was supposed to be the character I play with my family, but none of them wanted to play, so eventually the character was left to gather dust.

I also briefly tried the crusader class, but find playing that class with keyboard and mouse a bit awkward. I guess they design the class with controller in mind.

Then I switched my wizard to barbarian, while it was fun to play melee, the difference in range class versus melee class as a free to play (F2P) player in player versus player (PvP) match was amplified, while I can still play support as a range class in PvP where those P2W just mow down the F2P players, I struggled to contribute as a barbarian. That was before Blizzard group players according to their resonance, truth is they are still not doing a very good job with the resonance grouping now but at least it's slightly better than before.

Resonance is a statistic crucial in PvP, players can only realistically get it high enough with spending a lot of money. At the time of writing this, a decked out P2W player will have around 8000 resonance and a F2P player playing since the launch of the game will have around 1000 to 1500.

Anyway, I soon switched the barbarian to necromancer, then to demon hunter. I was no longer in an active clan while I switched to demon hunter, and no longer actively playing the game. I stayed as demon hunter for quite some time though, so eventually I collected all the essences for the class available to my unlocked difficulties, and that was my cue that it's time to change class.

There is that blood knight class that I have not tried, but blood knight feels too overpowered to me, and I am the kind of player who is not attracted to overpowered class, I prefer player skill to overcome challenges instead of the "I win" button.

So I went back to wizard, and with the new essences collected so far, I am finding new ways to play the class, which is keeping the game interesting for me.

Guess I will still be playing Diablo Immortal for a while, albeit not actively.

Other |geeky gaming| category entries.

群发·私讯

我不是手机傀儡，相比那些整天机不离手甚至沉迷上瘾的低头族，我应该是洞穴人的程度。

去年年中开始有保留每星期用手机时间的资料，看几时有时间整理下写篇文章。到现在为止，我每天用手机的平均时间是少于半个小时，通常是少过二十分钟。

我每晚都会把手机关掉，通常是全部家人都回到家后。如果那晚没有人外出，那晚餐后不久我就会把手机关了。

我也有凌晨十二点后就给朋友发生日祝福的习惯，今天凌晨就是这样。看来这习惯我的朋友也知道。

晚上关手机到凌晨后又开回手机期间，生日的那位朋友先给我发了个即时通讯，叫我不要在群里发那生日祝福。

也忘了自己是几时开始叫那几位记得我的生日的同事朋友不要再群发给我的生日祝福，也是那时开始我也不再群发别人的生日祝福，我换成用私讯。

但中学朋友群中我们还是群发的，毕竟是那么多年的老朋友了，而且人数也比较少。所以收到那请求，我有点意外，但同时又不是很意外。

是不是到了一定的岁数，或经过了一定的岁月洗礼后，人就会变成把别人的生日祝福看成亏欠的人情、一种不必要的负担？还是只是我自己是这样而已？

随兴随想 |系列|

原动力缺乏

昨天做好更改热流模型的准备，提前告知同事们需要他们提供的部分，然后暂停那跑着的一系列敏感分析的模拟，把电脑空了出来。

今天刚要开始更新热流模型，建那新的主板，就收到了换了几次日期和时间的项目会议通知。

最后那个会议通知里，加注了项目方向的一句，总之就是说那新的主板已经不是项目要朝的方向了。

还没有开始就已经结束。我又再次告知同事，昨天委托的事不需要了。

真是的，一直在变的项目方向，搞得我很纳闷抑郁。可不可以不要这样浪费我们的时间和精力？

越做越茫然低落，越来越没有原动力。

浪费了我一晚的模拟时间，我下班前重新设好那敏感分析的模拟，电脑资源和模拟时间很宝贵的啊！

随兴随想 |系列|

纳闷

五天休息天就这样过去了，唉～

也不能说是欢乐的时间，但原来不是欢乐的时间也是可以过得特别快的。

是比平时迟起床，但其实也没有比平时睡得更多，就是赖床而已。

不谢了，比农历新年还多的炮竹声、比平时更长的烦人祈祷噪音、究竟还要热多久的天气、还有老了的我。

真是的，连可以睡到太阳晒屁股的乐趣都要剥夺，人就是不要老…

太多不顺心顺意的事，所以特别纳闷。

还有，明天要开工了，不要不要不要！

唉～

心语细述 |系列|

Random thoughts

You cannot help someone who doesn't want to help him or herself.

-----

Specially reserved for me, the anger, harsh tone, and bad mood.

-----

As time goes by, the band-aid actions and promises fade away.

-----

Good thing we have the younger son as a reality anchor, or else we would have faulted ourselves for the faults of the elder son.

-----

I have not been dealt a good life. Accept it.

Other |temperamental thoughts| category entries.

Potato mode on

Checking my annual leave count is a monthly recurring task, so that I can take one or more days off to make sure none of the annual leave gets burned.

Happy to say that this month I have enough buffer, so I don't have to take any annual leave for the sole purpose of not having any being forfeited. Happy because this month I don't have that 'forced to take leave' feel.

But I am taking this Friday off anyway, because Wednesday and Thursday are public holidays, so I am making it a five days break.

Do I need the break? Not really. To be honest I am currently in the mood to get worthwhile things done job wise, as I feel that I have not been productive recently. So it's actually a bit ironic I am having a break.

Oh well. Just have to indulge my whim occasionally, I guess.

So heads up, potato mode is on! Don't contact me for work related matters.

Actually, just don't contact me, unless we are really close. =P

Other |hyped up heads up| category entries.

重振

二零二四年过去了四分之一，感觉自己今年至今没有什么成就。

外国老板来了也走了，希望明天开始可以回到正常的工作状况和效率。

真的需要好好投资些时间来搞专利有关的事，去年失败了，希望今年可以获得一个。

当然不在乎获得几个，但我不贪心，有一个就已经满足。

今年工作至今也好像没有什么特别出众或出色的成绩，没有一个亮点或辉煌的成就。我觉得太对不起自己了，我不应该是这样的程度。

真的，要好好努力下，达到自我水准的要求。

为自己加油！

随兴随想 |系列|

04042024

Whole day in office today, attending many meetings that didn't left useful periods in between. Work efficiency plummetted big time.

The many meetings for the manager who doesn't really know us until his first ever visit to our site today.

Hope it's an eye-opener for the manager, something that put us in his radar and something that will benefit us in the future. Goodness know I have spent way too much time preparing for these meetings.

Still more meetings tomorrow, just have to get through it and hopefully work life will go back to normal after that, and I can resume getting more worthwhile stuff done.

So much to do, and am actively avoiding working overtime, thank you very much.

Other |temperamental thoughts| category entries.

A quarter is over

Last day of March today, one quarter of 2024 is over in a blink of an eye.

On reflection, I honestly cannot say it had been a productive quarter.

In regard to work, I was busy as usual, but to me, the value wasn't there. Many tasks were low value stuff, noise more than signal.

Honestly believe that I could have spent the time on more valuable tasks, like working on invention stuff, or working on skill acquisition, instead of wasting time on thermal assessment of a moving target project that will likely be irrelevant when they finally decided on the target, or spending time preparing various materials for a manager visit, or sharing of non-technical knowledge.

On personal affairs, I am doing better in the daily exercise front compared to last quarter. Well, the consistency has improved after Chinese New Year.

This year, elder son is facing his important nationwide high school final year examination, one that comes with official certificate, and of which the results will determine qualification for his further education. His response to this is to increase the time he glues to his mobile phone, for after one quarter into 2024, his average daily phone usage time has increased from the previous 4 hours to 5 hours...

To put this into perspective, excluding lunch and diner time, he has about 7 hours of after school awake time during school days, and on average, he spends 5 hours of that 7 on the phone. This is still not counting the time he spends watching television. You gotta wonder when does his study and do his revision?

It is no surprise that he is within a stone's throw from the absolute last position of his entire grade. He seems contented with his situation though, for he continues to ignore our advices and continues to violate screen time and usage time limits.

Lack of self-discipline and time management skill, coupled that with his addiction to the mobile phone, his rebellious and egotistical personality, is a horrible and destructive combination.

We hope he will eventually grow up and do the right thing, and hope it will not be too late. One quarter is over in 2024, time is ticking, his behaviour thus far is not encouraging.

Other |temperamental thoughts| category entries.

又一团糟

去年十一月分享我皮毛的八字知识，还没有说到分析八字的部分，会议时间就已经完了，感觉讲了个寂寞。

今天是上个分享的续集。为了可以充分利用会议的时间讲解分析八字的知识，于是几天前就把八字基本资料的准备方式列成简单的步骤发了给同事们，要他们在今天的分享会前准备好。

就是上网（网址也给了）把自己的八字算出来，然后用我特地准备好的几个对照表找出自己的「日元」、「月令」、「喜用神」、「忌神」等资料。全是上一个分享会里说过的东西。

呃，应该说是上一个分享会里用完全部时间解释的东西… 囧

但是齁，绝大多数的同事没有准备好，所以今天又花了半个会议时间来完成这应该提前准备好的功课，唉～

剩下的半个会议时间，我只能分享了一部分原本打算分享的东西。天！我真的不想要再有另一个八字分享会啊～

真是的，又是一团糟，也很可能同事又会要我再做一次分享。

怎么这东西会没完没了的？

随兴随想 |系列|

给儿子们

在父母家人的呵护关注下飞翔飞飏的儿子们，你们活得很幸福。

我知道你们可能不以为然，因为至今你们是在可以无忧无虑专注于学习的生活环境下长大，没有需要争取、没有需要顾及衣食住行。需要的，都已经供给了，没有需要兼顾基本生活必须，没有独自生活的经验。所以你们理所当然。

我只能希望，你们领悟了我常说的要怀着感恩的心，而不是凡事抱怨。坦诚想一想，你们那些烦恼的来源是什么？不要自寻烦恼，做人要有分寸，很多事和物根本没有必要。懂得感恩，生活就会比较快乐好过。

青少年的你们，已经不再是小孩子。再过几年，你们就是成年人了。很快，你们的学生生涯就会结束，然后你们就会步入社会。

想要你们知道，男人大丈夫，就要有男人应该有的气概，的样子。请不要变成娘炮。男人大丈夫，讲到做到。男人大丈夫，敢作敢当。男人大丈夫，流血不流泪。

说到要做到，做了就要承担。不要空嘴说白话，做不到就不要吹牛，不要满口车大炮，不要只会开空头支票。要信守承诺，要为自己的言行举止负责任。这反映你们的信用、名誉、诚信、责任感、执行力、人品和人格。不要做言而无信的人，不要变成虚伪和肤浅的人。

要吃得起苦，要能承受些伤痛，要锻炼自己的抗压能力。不是不能流泪，哭没有错，只是不要一点皮外伤就戏剧化到天塌下来的摸样，不要一点悲痛就活不下去，不要一点挫折就放弃。没有人是靠放弃而成功的。不要变成草莓族，一碰就烂。

要懂得向上向善，要虚心向学，不断自我提升。

学习不是为了父母，学习是为了强大你们自己，让你们变得更厉害的一个过程。让你们可以有多点选择，有竞争力，更容易实现你们想要的生活品质。

叛逆、摆烂最终影响的不是你的父母，而是你自己。时间不会重来，人生没有得倒带，不要失去了才后悔，因为那无济于事。把握当下，能够左右结局的时候努力，不要让自己遗憾。

你们要喜欢上自己努力的样子、坚持的样子、尽力的样子。要喜欢上证实自己的能力、的水准，做到自己最好的那成就感。

心语细述 |系列|

Antisocial went social (2)

Went out to a ten persons gathering on Friday evening.

Anything more than four is probably a no no for me nowadays, too much of a social outing.

But for these colleague friends who had spent so much good times together, I made the exception.

So it's braving the Friday after work traffic, which was horrible as usual, reaching the destination about two hours after I left home.

Dinner and chat, then to karaoke.

Karaoke, something we loved so much back in the days, still much fun and laughters this time round, but the passion was somewhat lacking. Maybe it's just me.

The second Covid has ruined my lung capacity. The shortness of breath has rendered me unable to sing, my voice is so weak now.

Oh well, I still enjoy the time, just being with these people.

Other |enjoyable events| category entries.

性价比低的活

不觉得自己没有效率，但总是有做不完的工作。我对自己的工作品质有一定的要求。

安慰自己说这是好事，有工作总比没有工作好。太闲的工作反而会令我担心和烦躁。是的，我命贱。

有那么多的活要做，自然而然就会分轻重，优先把时间给重要的工作，那些项目有关的正工。

因为至今根本没有任何接触的一位外国老板要来访，突然就多了很多对我来说性价比很低的工作。

如果我是闲着那倒也无妨，但最近有很多工要做，其他的那些活我都觉得比准备给这老板来访的东西还要重要、还有意义、更有价值。

但是被催了又催，所以今天花了大半天在忙这活。超时工作完成了一份，还有另一份要做，唉…

真是的，无谓的忙。

随兴随想 |系列|

寂寞寂寞就好

是的，题目是特地的。是的，田馥甄那首歌好听。

但不是的，这篇文章跟那首歌没有关系，而是上一篇文章的后续。

才刚完成的热流模型马上就因为项目改变方向而变成不相干，还没开始就已结束。

命贱的我不甘心，既然已经用了这么多时间和精力，还几个周末加时工作那种，我怎么都要跑几个模拟，看一看散热能力是什么个究竟。

所以昨天星期六午餐后把最后的那些设定都做完，然后让电脑过夜模拟。其实还费了蛮多工和时间来做那些设定，终于开始模拟时已经是傍晚六点。

今天星期日午餐后又犯贱，开了工作电脑查看模拟的进展，果然像我的预想那样，新的模型第一个模拟总是会有问题，所以又用了将近一个小时来修改模型，再让它过夜模拟。

是的，我就是那样的命贱。我承认。

希望明天会看到模拟成功啦…

随兴随想 |系列|

做了个寂寞

终于都做完了新项目的第一个热流模型。

这个模型花了比平时需要的时间还久，因为既不是全新设计完全任由我发挥，也不是有足够的参考资料的一个尴尬情况。

有一些些的参考资料，不足够来建完整的模型，但又很有限制性，需要反复猜测和假想，才能建出一个符合参考资料和没有资料需要估计的部分的模型。

这过程中其实就是把机械工程师应该做的东西给做了。做么热流工程师是跑在最前面的那个？然后就要改了又改，好几个版本。就不能是热流工程师等其他人做了他们的份才开始建模的吗？

唉… 怎么都好，终于都完成了那个热流模型，而且我还把另一个更好的散热方案也都建进模型里了。跑完原本的散热方案我就可以马上跑我那优化的方案，做直接的对比。

模型今天终于建完了，就是全部部件都建好了，设好网格的设定就可以开始模拟了。周末让电脑跑模拟，一切顺利的话，下星期就有模拟数据可以报告了。做了几个星期，终于…

然后今天下班前那个会议里，被告知项目方向要换了，主板部件会有蛮多的更改，散热方案要随之改变。是的，热流模型终于建好的那一天，星期五放工前的一个小时…

唉～

随兴随想 |系列|

心的频道：真的，我不是

有些人喜欢处于聚光灯之下，享受集万千关注于一身。

我不是。我喜欢平淡简单的生活。我完全不在乎是在背后默默贡献的那位。

有些人喜欢展现自己的成就、才华、功绩，让多多人知道。

我不是。我一点都不爱炫，老板知道我的贡献就好。

有些人喜欢讲，仿佛有用不完的精力，讲不完的话题那样。

我不是。我喜欢听。遇到对的人，我是很好的聆听者。

有些人可以把一件事、一个活，讲得非常厉害、重要、有价值。

我不是。我喜欢言简意赅，我喜欢用数据来讲话。数据不骗人，一目了然，不加些什么，也不减些什么。

有些人喜欢上台表演，喜欢许许多多观众的目光。

我不是。那是内向和反社会的我非常抗拒、难受的处境。那对我来说是种煎熬。只是想想都觉得很累。

有些人非常看重官位等级，比别人高级的优越感。

我不是。我是扶不上墙的烂泥。我不需要什么优越感，更不需要再多的责任，我只要越多越好的薪水。

心的频道 |系列|

Antisocial went social

As I become more and more antisocial, I attend less and less social activities, especially those that involved large number of people I am unfamiliar with or not close to.

But I went to a farewell lunch yesterday, because it's for my hiring manager, who has a special place in my heart, and because there were only a handful of colleague friends, all of whom I am close to.

Colleague friends who were there when I first joined the company, who did some crazy and funny things together all those years ago that we probably can no longer do now without incurring some code of conduct infraction. Things have changed.

Anyway, for these people, I am willing to go social.

And I honestly enjoyed the meet up.

All the best to my hiring manager. He is someone who has earned my respect, I know he will do well wherever he goes.

Other |enjoyable events| category entries.

琐琐碎碎

终于做完了一个项目的所有热流模拟。至少我是这样认为啦，希望这个项目不会再有新的模拟要求。

现在忙着的是一个一直在改变方向的项目，几乎是每开一次会议就会有新的方向那样。真的就是很无奈，也很可能徒劳无功的忙碌。

这几个星期一直逐渐增加琐琐碎碎需要做的事，又不是正工，但又和工作有关，需要费时费力的活。

几乎就是每开一个项目以外的会议就会多个活要做，真的是「显」到～

论文啦、提升电脑（来跑模拟）需要做的一些功课啦、外国老板来访要准备一大堆的东西啦、创新研究需要的模拟资料啦…

最叫我烦心的是今天老板突然要我在外国老板来访时上台分享给整个部门的那件事，唉…

真的就是非常万分的不想要咯。=(

随兴随想 |系列|

心的频道：没有然后（二）

我深信，双方因为找到了很合适的人，才相爱。

当然没有百分百合适的人，但因为相爱，所以容忍那些少数不合适的地方。

或因为相爱，所以改变了不合适的地方，变得更合适对方。

而不是处处不合适，靠容忍一切来相爱。我根本无法想象，那样的关系怎么可能长久？

我也不相信，三观不合的人可以在一起。我和三观不合的人，连做朋友都有点困难，绝对不会到很好的关系。

连基本观念礼仪都不同了，真的就没有必要想什么然后了。

根本不同，没有然后。

心的频道 |系列|

特别的一天

原本是昨晚想要写篇文章上载到部落格的，但想想难得今年闰年，二月有二十九日，所以就等到今天才写了。

其实今天也没有什么特别的事发生，就是四年才一次的二月二十九日，这样的特别而已。

今天还有什么事呢？就随兴随想的记录些点点滴滴吧…

农历新年后第一次回公司，主要是开会，也顺便进研究室看了下要升级的电脑的一些讯息资料。

因为帮忙没有时间吃早餐的同事买了面包后的一个小插曲才发现自己还真的是没有去注意同事的穿着的。

同事朋友邀约外出午餐，原本开着的会议也因为有同事跑过来问东西没有真的留意会议内容，所以就干脆放弃会议早点外出午餐。所以今天吃得很从容，没有像平时那样的急促感。

情人老婆仔在我午餐后发了个即使短讯给我，问我是不是会在公司工作一整天？我问她是不是有什么事需要我回家？然后因为之间的情趣都是我一个人在搞而已（自讨没趣…），所以就加了一句问她是不是想我？今天老婆仔破天荒有情趣的回了我“是”，虽然知道她只是应酬骗我一下，但还是突然很有能量的开心了，呵呵！

离开研究室后就马上回家，刚刚好赶上下一个会议，然后就这样又多了些工作，唉～

都不知道敏感什么，回到家后就开始打喷嚏，鼻子眼睛开始痒，也开始流鼻水。真是的，公司太干净，家里太多灰尘？

四年一次的二月二十九日，也就是这样过。没什么特别，也就是一天。

随兴随想 |系列|

My personality (2)

Did the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) test slightly less than four years ago, for a virtual teambuilding.

I was an Advocate (INFJ-A) then, borderline on being intuitive (N) and assertive (A), as oppose to observant (S) and turbulent (T), respectively.

Did another test today, prework for the icebreaker session of an upcoming company event.

This time, I am the Defender (ISFJ-A). Still on the fence for the intuitive versus observant, but skewed towards observant this time. Also still on the fence on being assertive versus turbulent.

Prominently skewed on the other three: introverted (I), feeling (F), and judging (J). So I guess these three are my more distinctive personalities.

The website still has my old test results, which shows I am indeed very consistent on the three indicators and on the fence on the other two.

I still believe I am on the fence for being assertive versus turbulent because while I exibit many of the assertive traits, I am lousy at stress management, which is supposedly a turbulent indicator.

Other |sane side| category entries.

心的频道：没有然后

忘了是何时开始看韩国恋爱综艺节目，看了一出又会发现另一出，就自然而然的也看了。现在看着的是其中一个节目的第三季。

情人老婆仔说是出演者在演戏，我相信或许有些出演者是为了出名，有些为了出演费，但也是有真的情感的。我就是会被这些情感牵动，就当我是缺爱吧…

我就是那种希望世上相爱的人都可以在一起的人，所以看到相爱的情侣最终在一起就非常开心，但看到相爱又因为种种原因无法在一起的情侣时就非常难过。

然后呢？

*****

没有自律，不懂得管理时间，言而无信。答应了没有做到，也不为自己的言行举止负责任。

讲了又讲，重复又重复。仍旧我行我素，没有自我检讨，不思进取，没有改善提升。就是那样日复一日同样的得过且过，敷衍混日子。还会变本加厉。

然后呢？

*****

由衷祈望，携手到老不是因为责任而已，习惯了而已，理所当然的心态。而是相爱到老，真心喜欢相处互动，真的为对方着想，在乎彼此。

讲了又讲，重复又重复，然后呢？

*****

对工作的热忱和动力大大减少了。对没得喘息，连接不断，还常常过分的要求厌倦了。累了。

开始有做不下去的感觉，但又还是需要一个人养家…

所以然后呢？

心的频道 |系列|

有感而发：情感投入

看完了一季韩国二零二三年的恋爱综艺节目，和它的后续。

那位甜美可爱，性格讨喜的女出演者，一个月的节目过程里，即使是多位男出演者们的最爱、被邀约不断，一直都守着第一次约会就令她心动的那位内向男的初心，婉绝了其他男出演者的好意。

偏偏内向男太为其他出演者着想，知道其他男出演者都喜欢那女生，自己又不喜欢复杂错乱的情感和屋内情况（要一起生活一个月嘞），所以压抑自己的情感，令自己煎熬，也让甜美可爱女心酸委屈。

明明互相喜欢，可以在一起的两个人，始终都没有在一起。男的自私一点的话，很多的痛苦煎熬就不会发生了。

结果最后一个两天一夜的外出旅行中，连其他男出演者在知道甜美可爱女对内向男那么重的心意后，都开始为他铺路的情况下，太看别人眼色的内向男始终没有向甜美可爱女提出约会邀请，而是选择了他知道也是向着自己但没有其他男出演者追求的另一位女出演者。

那一天，甜美可爱女终于都心灰了。而已被拒绝过的，唯一一个知道甜美可爱女对内向男的心意后没有为内向男铺路的，那个内向男非常在乎，说是像自己兄弟般的室友，就趁虚而入安抚甜美可爱女，邀她约会…

旅行后过几天就是最终选择了，趁虚而入男就快马加鞭一直和甜美可爱女约会，最后终于得到美人归。

后续那几集，记录出演者在录制节目结束一个月后的情况。全部出演者都关系好好的，当然，那只是录制结束一个月之后，大家还记忆犹新的时段，节目也才刚刚上映。这恋爱综艺节目是去年五月到九月上映的，后续是九月到十月吧？

好奇宝宝网上搜寻了下出演者的近况，看到有文章说趁虚而入男和甜美可爱女去年十月头分手了，那几乎就是节目和后续上映完后的时间点。

唉，我这太过情感投入，希望全部爱情都可以甜甜蜜蜜、情感移入同理心太重的人，只有叹息…

有感而发 |系列|

Break is ending

Took 2.5 days of annual leave, coupled with the 2 days replacement holidays, I got a total of 8.5 days of break for Chinese New Year.

It's coming to an end, resuming work tomorrow.

Absolutely not looking forward to it, but this is life.

It has been peaceful and quiet in the house, after wifey and kids went to the in-laws', and with dad and I being the stay-in-room mind our own business kind of person.

But I am severely hug-deprived. This is very unhealthy for me.

What made it worse is that I am watching a Korean reality show about romance and relationship, and instead of the lovely jubbly sweet sweet feelings that draw me into watching this kind of shows, this particular season is downright saddening.

This is when being an empathic person is not such a good thing, I feel the frustration, the hurt and the pain deeply. I know there can't be happy ending for all the cast members, but there is always one or a few who I am more aligned in values, principles and beliefs, who I would root for, who I hope their love would blossom.

But alas, this season there are too many crisscrossed signals, missed signals, and even false signals. Really hate fake people with their misinformation. So what started as a hopeful sweet relationship got shattered, causing so much pain and hurt to the people involved. And to me, so I guess I am too emotionally involved.

This is when I really need to hug wifey, but she is not here...

So my break is ending, and it seems break is also the ending for the reality show. So sad.

Other |temperamental thoughts| category entries.

开工吉日

越老越迷信，这几年都会找一找开工吉日才决定农历新年休假几天，和几时开工。

略懂八字基本知识后就知道这些开工吉日也是看是谁评估出来的，毕竟每个人重视的东西不同，每个人理解和分析都会有差异。

所以我通常会找几份不同的人算出来的开工吉日，校对后才决定跟大多数统一的好日子。

或许有一天，我会开始去理解，然后用自己的八字算出最适合自己的开工吉日吧？

或许吧？但没有确定的完成期，毕竟买了的那几本有关八字的书籍，超过十年了都还没有看完…

话说回来，今天是没有冲我生肖的开工吉日，吉时也是非常合适的时间，我如常的早上八点开工，认真的做了半天工。

对我来说，开工吉日就应该是平时想要的工作日，而不是意思意思开了电脑发个邮件，那绝对不是我理想的工作日。

一早同事朋友即兴开了个一对一的网上会仪，讨论我们一起同做的项目。除了那，今天没有任何的会议，所以我可以有效率的做热流模型。

拿了半天假，毕竟今天真的是为了开工吉日才工作的，我农历新年的休假还没有完，下星期一我才“正式”复工。

开工大吉啦！希望这一年都会顺顺利利的。

心语细述 |系列|

Cave mode on

Wifey and the kids are on their way to the in-laws'.

Visiting the in-laws during Chinese New Year and stay for a few days is something we do annually, but this year I have opted out of celebrating Chinese New Year.

To be honest, I don't really know the exact details of what to do and what not to do, mommi had always been the go to person for our enquiry on culture, custom and tradition stuff, but it's her passing last May that I am observing the no celebrating Chinese New Year now.

Information online regarding this varies, from 100 days to 3 years, and various to do and not to do. I am not sure which to follow, and have decided to stay in and not involve in any merry or celebration stuff for the first 100 days, to opt out of celebrating the first Chinese New Year, and not wearing any merry colours for at least one year.

The last few years before mommi's passing, I had been saturated with the sense of helplessness, seeing her deteriorated and unable to do anything about it... So I shall do whatever I can now.

I don't think losing a parent is something we get over with, or something we will ever forget. It's probably just something we live with as best as we can.

Anyway, if not for pappi being home, it would have been another entry of the home alone series. So not home alone, but definitely entering cave mode.

Other |temperamental thoughts| category entries.