Jump?

As my annual overtime working count creeps towards last year's count, I get more and more frustrated with every overtime I need to do.

My goal is to reduce that working overtime count every year, which I have managed to accomplish for previous two consecutive years.

However, given the trend and the amount of work I have currently, and the relentless requests for results and updates, it is very likely that I will surpass last year's count by the end of December. Meaning I will fail my goal and break my streak.

Absolutely not happy about it, because I honestly think that my overtime amount is just ridiculous and it really needs to be cut down by a lot. Ideally it should be somewhere around 20% of my total annual working days, that's working overtime one day per five working days week. I think I could live with 30%, but I am still struggling to get below 50%...

Company is at a low period now, many things that impact morale and drain confidence. With massive headcount reduction, those who are still with the company inevitably have to pick up the jobs that no longer have the headcount to support them. Even though the management said the job count would be trimmed, the proportion is just not in par with the headcount reduction.

Do more with less, of course they would say that. Reality is there are employees who are already working at maximum bandwidth and working overtime just to deliver, there is no more to give.

So I do not appreciate the unrealistic requests, they do not increase my output or turnaround because I am already at max, they only add to my backlog, frustration and stress level, which also builds up the discontent and dissatisfaction.

Imagine this is the state I am in when I was approached by offer from another company. It's like devil advocate, a temptation with perfect timing.

I won't deny that I do not like change, and what feels to me like starting over in another company is daunting for me. Some would call it afraid of stepping out of my comfort zone but I have always argued that there is nothing comfortable about my current job, it's stressful, it's challenging, it's relentless.

I do like the idea of working my whole career in the same company. Call me old school, I like being loyal. Of course loyalty gets us nothing, to the company we are all expendable, easily replaceable. Loyalty is not rewarded, but still, I like being loyal. Yes, I am a fool.

I guess I would take the plunge, like I did a few years back, when I have totally lost faith in the management, when I have given up with the management, when there is just no future staying with the department, group, or company.

But for now, I still want to believe the company can pull through, the management can understand there is no way for me to do two projects in parallel that have like nine projects worth of workload disguised within them.

And I am still too chicken shit to take the plunge and make the jump.

Other |sane side| category entries.