心语细述

有些习惯很难改。

每年一次的祝福，重复了很多很多年的那种习惯。

“妈咪，生日快乐。”

有些习惯不想要改。

心语细述 |系列|

破功

还真的以为，会成功坚持一整个月都没有加时工作。

结果在一月的最后一天（星期六）破防，已经加时工作了六小时半，今晚可能还要继续。

就因为星期四那会议里，那位经理的一个热流模拟要求。报告下星期三要，不然就已经迟了。他是那样说啦…

问题是，我还在更新基准的热流模型，应该还需要一个星期才会完成。所以是等不到这新版本了，但用旧版本的模型又跟实物有很多差异，有缺精准度。进退两难的处境。

还有就是星期五我拿了假，几乎一整天在医院里耗费掉。原本以为还会有些时间可以（加时）工作，但精神也被弄得恍恍惚惚，所以就那样浪费了一天。

来着的星期一是大宝森节的补假，所以不加时工作的话，我只有星期二一天来完成那不可能的任务。

我不是神仙，也不是超人，只是个平凡无奇的普通人，所以我唯有加时工作。还是那种就算我加时工作也不一定能够及时交报告的情况。

唉～

真是命贱。

心语细述 |系列|

Meaningless system, part four

Another week, another visit to the hospital. Second appointment with the nephrologist (kidney specialist), and new referred appointment with the ophthalmologist (eye specialist).

Arrived by 08:00 hours for the blood test, which went smoothly all considering, got delayed at the registration part but the lab part was smooth. Thumbs up to the lab people.

Done within 30 minutes, including the surprised urine sample request, which I wasn't awared of until then. Gave them what my bladder could produced then, not a lot but they didn't called me back so I guess it's sufficient.

Went straight to the nephrology clinic, the nurse took my weight and blood pressure and told me in a nice way to bugger off. The appointment with the nephrologist was scheduled for 10:40 hours.

So I went out to breakfast. Oh, I walked to the hospital in the morning, and walked back home when I was finally done. Everywhere else in between that was also walked, for a total of 1 hour and 47 minutes split between six walking sessions.

Took 15 minutes to walk to breakfast and 15 minutes back to hospital, still more than an hour until the appointment with nephrologist so I went to the ophthalmology clinic first, see if I could get lucky and get that appointment done first.

No luck, the appointment was at 11:00 hours. I told them I had a 10:40 hours appointment with the nephrologist so most likely I would be late. They smiled, they know. Well, at least I prompted them to sort out the medical insurance thing, which strangely was issued for yesterday instead of today, so not totally a waste of effort.

Went back to the nephrology clinic and took out my novel to pass time, slightly more than one hour to kill. If the consultation was on time, that is, which it wasn't. No surprise there, and no prize for guessing if it was earlier or later than the appointment time.

The nurse called me 37 minutes after the appointment time. Took 6 minutes for the consultation, basically being told my blood test showed same results as the one done in December, and still need to wait a few days for the other test results. So another appointment was scheduled in late February and none the wiser on what's wrong with my kidneys.

So naturally I was late for the 11:00 hours appointment with the ophthalmologist. The consultation happened at 12:24 hours, but if we take away the time delayed by the nephrologist, then really it's "just" 41 minutes late.

The ophthalmologist said maybe it's the spectacles, or maybe dry eyes. Advised me to make a new pair of spectacles and gave me some eye drops, and said to go back early March. So another appointment. Looks like I still have to visit the hospital on weekly basis end of February and beginning of March.

I went straight to the optometrist to get a new pair of spectacles made. They tried to sell me two pairs, one multifocal for distance, intermediate and near, the other an office glasses for intermediate and near. I resisted and said I only need one, the office glasses. Already cost me an arm for that, I don't need to lose both arm and leg.

After all that is done, went for a late lunch and by the time I reached home, it's already 15:25 hours. That's another leave gone.

Other |runaway rants| category entries.

随兴随想

一转眼一月只剩一个星期。时间都去哪儿了？

-----

原本是中文的故事，我竟然用英文写了个前序的开头。

故事情节一点一滴的浮现脑海里，需要好好整理时间点和怎么相互连接。

已经想成是三部曲的大纲是不是有点可笑？毕竟连一个篇章都没有完成，就只有那些片片段段的情节。

-----

还不会赚钱养活自己的孩子，花钱倒是很豪爽。

还是诸多抱怨、感恩有缺。

-----

期待不用每星期去一次医院的日子到来。

随兴随想 |系列|

让我 emo 一下

又有一位同事辞职了，两个星期后离开。

感伤。无奈。

是团队里最开朗友善的人，也是位可靠能干的同事。当然最叫人羡慕妒忌的是他有吃不肥的绝世好运（或基因）。

团队越来越小了，唉…

就是觉得忧伤、不舍、遗憾。

唉，有时还真的希望自己不要这么感性，情感不要那么细腻，感受不要那么深刻。

好累人。

心语细述 |系列|

Meaningless system, part three

Yes, another follow up, exactly one week after the previous. Neurologist wanted a MRI scan, and when I left last Monday, the nurse told me they will inform me of the MRI date once they have made the booking.

Well, true to their word, they told me the date for the MRI scan alright, as they called me at 11:30 hours today to inform me that the MRI is at 14:00 hours today. Yes, a 2.5 hours notice before the appointment. What a "fantastic" system that is.

The nurse said they sent me SMS last Friday, which strangely I did not received. Let's just give them the benefit of doubt.

Good thing there wasn't any critical meeting this afternoon, so I scrambled to inform manager that I needed the second half off. After a not so leisure, somewhat rushed lunch, wifey dropped me off at the hospital. By the time I finished the self registration and reached the appropriate part of the hospital, it's 14:02 hours.

The next serving of the "fantastic" system was when the nurse at the MRI place told me that the MRI scan was booked for 15:30 hours. When I told her the nurse who called me earlier said it's 14:00 hours, she asked me to wait and got on the phone to that nurse.

After their conversation, the nurse at MRI told me nope, the MRI booking was at 15:30 hours, asked if I had lunch, hinting me to go do something else and come back later. I told her I already had lunch, didn't said it's somewhat rushed because I wanted to arrive by 14:00 hours, and told her I would just wait there. She said if any of the prior bookings freed up, they would slot me in. I thanked her and found a corner and took out my novel.

15:30 hours appointment but asked me to be there by 14:00 hours, wasting 1.5 hours of my time. Such "fantastic" system!

Not sure if someone really cancelled his or her appointment, or the unfortunate person just got his or her time slot given to me and made to wait (common theme in the "fantastic" system), but they got me on the 15:00 hours slot. One hour after the fake MRI time slot but 30 minutes before the real MRI time slot.

First MRI scan in my life. It's loud, noisy and uncomfortable. I tried my best to stay absolutely still for the entire 20+ minutes. I think I did okay, since the neurologist showed some pretty sharp cut-plane images of my brain when I eventually saw him later in the day.

I moved from the MRI place to the neurologist place and sorted out yet another registration by 15:29 hours. Then another time wasting wait commenced. Honestly I thought of bringing another novel with me before I left home, seeing that I am close to finishing the novel I am currently reading, but I didn't, naively thinking they can't always be that bad.

Well, unfortunately, they sure can. I checked the screen after the 15:29 hours registration, it showed no number in the queue to see the neurologist. So I had to be next, right? I asked, twice, to two different nurses, once at registration, and the other when they called me for blood pressure and weight measurement about 15 minutes after registration, whether the neurologist was already in, and both of them confirmed that he already was.

Fine, I figured the neurologist must be waiting for the MRI scan results. Must be some really gigantic file size coupled with slow computer and slow network connection, that sort of thing. I guess not all institution has the computing and network resource that can transfer 100GB file across the globe in 15 minutes, which I think is already not fast enough with technology nowadays. So ya, must be that.

I finally get to see the neurologist at 16:52 hours, which is strangely similar to the 1.5 hours 'waste of my life' time period earlier in the day. Makes me wonder if the "fantastic" system has this 1.5 hours buffer to the actual appointment time? Hmm...

Anyway, done with the consultation in 4 minutes. The good news is that there's nothing wrong with my MRI scan results, thank goodness. The bad news is that the neurologist hasn't a clue regarding the cause of my headache, so he is referring me to the ophthalmologist next...

Not sure if I am being referred from one to another and undergoing different tests and diagnostics because I am claiming company's medical insurance, but goodness know I am glad I have that medical insurance. I really don't want to know the amount of the medical bill, and it's not even over yet.

I do know I am visiting the hospital on a weekly basis, next appointment is Friday next week, and every singe time my precious time is being wasted away.

Pfft!

Other |runaway rants| category entries.

- Prelude -

Copyright © 2026 Chin Kung GOH. All rights reserved.
Currently untitled. Edition: 0. Revision: 1. Sequence reference: 0.1.

This is a work of fiction. Unless otherwise indicated, all the names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents in this book are either the product of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.
-----

So it's real and not just a saying, that life flashes before our eyes before our imminent death.

That was what happened to me as I was thrown out of the car, through the shattered windscreen, over the side of the bridge, and falling towards the dark water below.

My entire life flashed before me in minute details and sharp clarity, in reverse order, going backward from the most recent incident of that reckless BMW ramming into my car, to that devastating discovery of the betrayal, to the deteriorating relationship and the many episodes of fights, to all those wonderful moments when we were each other's whole world, to meeting her the very first time... The graduation, the schooling years, the childhood, the warmth of mother's embrace, my first breath and first cry announcing my arrival to the world.

A whole lifetime in that few seconds for me to fall that thirty metres, heading straight to a collision with the sea that would break my bones.

Other |fictitious fiction| category entries.