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"High confidence on delivery of thermal simulation results next Thursday."
Why oh why did I said that last week?
Probably because I honestly thought I could do it. But life has other idea.
Or I simply am not as efficient or as capable as I thought.
Sigh...
So it's Thursday today, the results delivery day. And nope, I did not delivered. Failed.
Goodness knows I tried. Oh boy how I tried.
Based on my record, the latest overtime streak started on 19th of August. A two days break without working overtime on 23rd and 24th August, then another day on 28th August. Thirteen days of continuous working overtime since 29th of August.
The operative word is 'overtime', everything after the normal working hours, in weekend, public holiday, and sadly even annual leave.
So on 2nd of September, last Wednesday, when I had one week till delivery date, I worked overtime until 21:50 hours. On 3rd of September, I worked until 22:50 hours. 22:41 hours on 4th, then a heavenly 17:31 hours on 5th, until you realised it's a Saturday...
Unease set in when progress was slower than expected on Sunday the 6th, so I worked overtime until 23:11 hours. The stress started to build up, so it's 00:00 midnight on the dot on 7th, then 01:06 hours on 8th of September, Tuesday.
By Wednesday 9th of September, stress is through the roof and on the verge of a panic breakdown. I had to get the model done and set it to solve overnight, for results on Thursday.
So when I resumed work after dinner, at 20:54 hours, I thought to myself, I would probably only be able to go to bed at 04:00 hours. Again, I overestimated my capability and efficiency.
I resumed work on 20:54 hours on Wednesday, I clocked out at 08:12 hours on Thursday. Within that period of time I had a shower, a few bio breaks, and worked. I worked through the night.
Not conducive to my health and wellbeing. I am too old for this kind of shit.
Darn the sense of responsibility, and the crushing stress.
I set the alarm for a three hours rest, thinking to resume work, or start a "new day" work, however you want to see it, around 11:00 hours, and finally hit the bed.
I got out of bed and resumed work at 09:47 hours, after about 1.5 hours of shut eyes. Not sure if that was sleep, rest, or whatever. I got 1.5 hours of shut eyes, is all.
And yes, I worked overtime after dinner today as well, from 20:09 hours to 21:31 hours, and finally called it a day.
I am beyond knackered.
Can't do this anymore, maybe I am no longer suitable for this job?
Other |wretched workaholic| category entries.
