Crushed

This most recent depression bout is a bad one.

These two days have been particularly hard.

Feel totally defeated. Crushed.

I am not well. Terribly not.

Other |sane side| category entries.

熬

千辛万苦撑到星期五。

好难过的一个星期…

连续几个月，长期一个接一个不间断，燃眉的工作期限，是绝不会有优裕悠闲的奢侈。

偏偏工作效率因为职业倦怠变得超级低，所以感到更加烦闷挫败。

煎熬、颓丧、低迷、无力。

唉～

心语细述 |系列|

心的频道：灰

职业倦怠，加上忧郁症来袭，双重打击。

我精疲力竭、身心俱疲，累透了。

没有那精力，也不想继续奋斗了。

什么动力、热忱都已被耗尽，火苗都灭了，只剩灰烬。

死撑着的责任感也开始龟裂崩塌，随时会瞬间垮掉。

不要问我前途怎么样，我现在每天都只有灰。

有没有摆烂我不在乎，但我现在只想躺平。

心的频道 |系列|

Finally

One solve per day for the last ten days consecutively.

All diverged. That's a new record.

For the past seven plus years, coming to eight in a few months, I resolved the majority of diverged cases with one debug attempt, and the few that needed more than one debug attempt, would usually be resolved within three attempts.

But lately, it's taking me more and more attempts to resolve a diverged case. Breaking the three maximum attempts previously, and now, only managed to resolve in the tenth.

*Sigh*...

Am I getting too old for this shit? Or the usual quality and focus have deteriorated as I am beyond burnt out?

Don't know. Just know that I am getting sick of all these.

Other |wretched workaholic| category entries.

Don't come

Already beyond burnt out, so no thank you to any additional workload and meetings.

Low value, time consuming task and event for Hollywood purposes.

Really, no thank you.

Which part of being bandwidth-constrained, overloaded, overworked, that is unclear?

But it's not like I got a say in things.

So better off just don't come, save me the trouble and grief.

Other |runaway rants| category entries.

不要不要不要

又已是星期天晚上，周末就这样过去了。

明天又要开工了…

不要不要不要！ >_<

现在的我，是没有热忱的躯体、没有灵魂的空壳。

公司部门再继续这样的操作，我也只有离开的选择。

随兴随想 |系列|

心的频道：废

好吧，既然你们是那样一个态度，我也可以有我的态度。

你们要那么废，我就跟着废。

看你怎么利用一个废人。

是的，我也懂得怎么躺平摆烂的。

是要不要而已。

心的频道 |系列|