金鱼佬

话说那一天根本英俊先生还了本我借他的小说，我便问老翁要不要看，老翁说不要了，我借他的几本都还没看完。

我问歪体先生要不要看，没问完根本英俊先生就提醒我歪体先生都不看书的。对呵，我竟忘了。

在我们去下午茶前我在根本英俊先生的办公室，他给我看隔天他要教的东西和要给我他会出的习题。 作弊呐 功课？我才不要。

钻石小姐不像我那样懒惰，她拿了份去看。我顺口问她：

“钻石，你喜欢看书的吗？”

就那么一句，猪脚先生称我为「金鱼佬」。

他开始那样叫我时我真莫明其妙，是在下午茶时我追问他才解释的。

“到处问小妹妹喜欢看书吗，还不是「金鱼佬」啊？”猪脚先生说。

这是什么歪理哦？

“就是要知道她喜欢不喜欢看书我可以借她根本英俊还我的那本嘛，我还能怎样问哦？”我说。

“我们比较含蓄的，”根本英俊先生说，“我们只是问女孩子喜欢不喜欢看黄色小说而已。”

大伙笑翻。

歪体先生和老翁也加入在这咸湿话题上发挥。蛮搞笑的，但我这不是色情部落格啦！

“哇唠！你们还说我是「金鱼佬」！”我没好气地抗议。

抗议是无效的，这群同事朋友注定要为我冠上这称号，所以他们合力一人一句建立于猪脚先生的歪理上。

“哪，你问女同事要不要打羽球叻，「金鱼佬」！”

“还有问人要不要一起吃午餐叻，「金鱼佬」！”

“喂！我真系接受唔到咯！”我又还能怎么样？

就这样，我无端端被他们叫这称号叫了好几天，都不知道几时才会停。唉…

我总是打趣地说我不是不顾形象，而是完全没有形象。真是的，甘愿没有形象也不要这恶心的「金鱼佬」。 >_<

那天猪脚先生在即时通讯的闲聊中提起了这件事，说幸好我没有写在部落格里。我说原本我是没有打算写的，但既然你提起了我就写咯。

*邪恶* =P

根本英俊先生幸灾乐祸的笑后说一切照实写可能会乏味无趣，我说看怎么写法吧？

再说，我又没有说我的部落格是很有趣的。而且，我认为真的认识我的朋友看了我被冠上那样的称号会觉得好笑咯。

我要的是记录生活的点滴来分享，不是要造假写故事叻。凭空写的故事是有特定的类别的（fictitious fiction）。

Glad I am over that

Back in my high school days all those years ago, I had to take ten subjects in SPM. Eleven subjects including the English 1119. SPM is the big examination in high school final year, the equivalent of O Level.

I have no delusion about my capability, hardworking got me a respectable margin above average, but I am no cream of the crop material. And I am perfectly fine with that.

Being active in extracurriculum was a crucial part of my high school life, some of the best times of my life happened then, and most of my closest friends are the ones from high school.

SPM was important, but I wasn't willing to completely forsake my extracurriculum activities. Hey, I ain't that nerdy! =P

But I ain't no superman either, I couldn't handle eleven subjects while still stayed as active as I was in extracurriculum activities. So I made an important decision. Well, important then, when all I needed to worry about was study.

I decided to give up on what I considered useless subjects: Moral Study and History.

Abandoned Moral Study because my parents have raised me good and proper (thanks mommi & pappi! =D ), I don't need no Moral Study to teach me what's right and proper. I did just fine in SPM (credit) without touching the textbook much, if at all.

Abandoned History because it's a pure memory test, and my memory sucks. Also I perceived no value in this subject. History, like my blog, is subjective, it all depends on who wrote the damn thing!

Trust me, the history of, say, the Vietnam War, will be very different depending on whether you read a history book from Vietnam or USA. =)

I fully expected to fail History in SPM, as I didn't study it at all and I failed all my internal exams. Either my 'the-day-before' last minute glance through was so very effective, or it's simply sheer dumb luck, I not only passed my History in SPM, I got a high credit as well.

Really "laugh die me". =D

So, when I heard in the radio this morning that some smart arse is making History a compulsory and must pass subject to pass SPM, similar to the Malay language subject, I am mightily glad my SPM days were ancient history. =P

Still, bollocks to the smart arse who suggested that!

If only I knew how limited the usefulness of the Malay language is outside of Malaysia, I wouldn't have bothered spending that much effort on it. Oh, I would learn it still since it's my national language after all, just wouldn't have given it that much of my time and effort.

An aeroplane a day

Back in 4th of January 2011, I wrote this:

An aeroplane a day keeps the slacker entertained?

I am not sure what the readers thought of that statement. No one enquired about it, so it's either they understand, they don't care, or nobody read it at all! =P

Of course it meant something, and I have always intended to expand on that statement.

After writing that entry, I started taking the necessary photos to build up the collection in order to write this entry.

Well, the interest ended on 20th of January 2011, by then I had a sizable collection and got bored of the activity.

Being a slacker, it's not until 30th of April 2011 that I drafted this entry. And being a slacker extraordinaire, the draft never got finished, until now, more than a year after. Slacker point +1.

=P

So what the heck is it?

Well, a few days before the 4th of January 2011, I started building aeroplane out of my sons' building blocks. I would build one after the kids had gone to sleep every night, let them play with it throughout the day, then I would disassemble the blocks and build a new aeroplane the next night.

It's meant to teach my kids about creativity. You know, same building blocks, but many different designs limited only by our imagination.

I am not sure if they got the point, but I do know I had fun coming out with a new design every night. =)

So, behold, here are the aeroplanes! =D

I was thinking about X-wing when I built this

Battlecruiser from Starcraft! =P

These aeroplanes are built from the exact same amount, same pieces of the bluiding blocks.

And if you like these, then you should really stay tuned for the ones I built from LEGO pieces. ^_^

Just don't hold your breath waiting for the entry, slacker timeline applies. =P

我和月亮小姐的对话

几个星期前，给比较要好的同事朋友一张画了个吐舌笑脸的小卡。

也没什么特别的意思，就是留下「我到此一游」的讯息，取代我们互相拜访对方的办公室而对方又不在时留在白板上的涂鸦。

毕竟她的白板上已没有什么空间让我再增添涂鸦了，呵呵！=P

因为那一张卡，让我再次掘出收在抽屉里的那盒彩色卡片，也让我再次开始为较好的同事朋友做生日卡。

唔，也真已经好一阵子没有做这些有损我邪恶形象的事了。

长话短说，亲手做了卡当然要“号练”下，所以便把卡传给其他同事签名写祝贺词给寿星公。

就这样传啊传到了月亮小姐，因为月亮小姐和寿星公苏打饼很要好的。

（天！我也真是有够罗唆长气，终于要写正题了！）

寿星公生日当天，月亮小姐用即时通讯问我：

苏打饼的生日是今天还是明天啊？

今天。
你快给他拥抱和亲吻做生日礼物。=P

不能啦，我今天在另一个厂叻。
你帮我给他拥抱和亲吻啦，记得告诉他是代我给的。:p

不行！！！这个忙帮不了你，好恶心！
我的拥抱和亲吻只限女性朋友而已。=P

你说而已啦，才不相信你敢做。

对我英国异性朋友我会咯，也许一些英国认识的大马朋友也会的，看是谁。

哈哈！在这里你这样做会被赏耳光的。

真不明白有什么不对？
拥抱和在脸颊上亲吻只是友情的一种表示罢了嘛，是真的很开心见到对方嘛。
我是很热情的叻。=)

你去教育大马人啦。

才不要！你要害我到处被人掴耳光！
我脸皮才没那么厚！

被打几个耳光后就会厚了的啦… :p

会被抓去坐监牢才是真的，哈哈！

哈哈！


我的拥抱和亲吻，还是留给我亲爱的妻子和我两个小瓜吧。

两个小瓜也不知道会让我们拥抱和亲吻到几岁？要趁他们还没抗拒之前尽量多做些，呵呵！

He is good, real good

wifey: so, are you going to marry Zarra?

Hsiang: no.

wifey: who do you want to marry then?

Hsiang: Fang Hooi. (one of his classmates)

wifey: you don't like Zarra? She is a sweet girl.

Hsiang: I know, but Fang Hooi has long hair and she ties it up nicely. (good taste boy!)

wifey: if Zarra has long hair and ties it up nicely too, will you marry her?

Hsiang: yes, I will marry both of them.

wifey: !

Hsiang: oh, Anisa likes me too.

wifey: !!!

Help me spread the madness please

The madness being reading this blog. =P

If you enjoy reading my blog*, please do me a favour of corrupting your friends introducing this blog to your friends.

* then you probably also have a twisted sense of humour, *high five*! =P

I would like to start writing short stories and could really use the feedback to see if I am any good.

Deep down, I am wondering if I am good enough to actually make money from writing. That's more like a very dreamy dream and I guess the only way to find out just how dreamy it is, is to get honest feedbacks.

For that, I need readers.

To get more readers, and hopefully more feedbacks, I need to advertise my blog.

For that, I need your help. ^_^

I am hoping that you have enjoyed my brand of humour or my unique way of boring you to tears, and that you could spread the pain so the others suffer as you do this erm... 'happiness' to others.

There is strength in word of mouth so hereby I sincerely request you to kindly advertise this blog http://paper-arrow.blogspot.com on your Facebook, Twitter, e-mail, SMS, and whatever else communication tools we have nowadays. Help me spread the poison blog please. =)

After you have done that, please do drop me a note, e-mail if you know me well enough, or leave a comment with your name telling me the good deed you have done. So that if I ever made it big in the future due to this effort, I will dedicate a book or two to you. ^_^

Can always dream, right? =P

Thanks a bunch!

If there is an increase in readership, the short stories will probably begin appearing in a couple of months, slacker timeline so give or take a few months. =P

Things that brightened my day

It's always the little things, the simple gestures, that put a smile on my face, a warmth to my heart.

These are the things that had cheered me up in the past few days:

- that kiss on my cheek by my youngest son when I was resting exhausted

- that simple but sincere note of concern after finding out I am under the weather

- that 'get well soon' message in Facebook

- that recognition of my effort while being sick, and that 'get well soon' after I delivered the updates

- that short 'thank you' message for the friendly reminder

- that e-mail telling me my reminder helps and is much appreciated

- that extra step of putting two cans of Coke in the fridge after purchasing them in dozens

It's just fantastic knowing someone cares; invigorating knowing our effort matters and is appreciated; and uplifting knowing I am loved.

I know I am a sentimental person, so I am easily touched (emotional, not physical! But I guess it's not hard to touch me physically, oh well...). But hey I am a simple person, and this is all it takes to make my day. ^_^

Yay for simpletons*! =P

* no kiddies, this is not how we use the term simpleton, even though I am one.

病言病语

生病了。 =(

因为我不是个重宗教信仰的人，所以也不知道是托那位神灵的福，只是生了个极不舒服，但还死不了的病。

我是个家人朋友有病就会叫他们快快去看医生，但自己不喜欢去看医生的那种人。

不是钱的问题，更不是吃药的问题。我明白有些钱是必要花的，而我也从不抗拒吃药的，苦是不会死的啦！

我不喜欢看医生，纯粹是怪癖。我承认，我是个有很多怪癖的怪人。 -_-

有位朋友好多年前（夭折咯！什么鬼都是那么多年前的事了…）跟我讲过: 他忙得有空死，但是没有空生病。那时听后我心想，有这样夸张吗？

现在的我，明白他的感受。

昨晚不喜欢看医生的我还是去看了医生，因为我没时间生病。得快快痊愈，至少要靠药物到能继续工作的程度。

医生问我要不要拿假我也只能苦笑说不用了，因为就算是拿了假我依然是要做工的。

真是他妈的忙得可以死，但是不能够病耶！太混账无理白痴变态不可理喻了吧？

今天一整天是头重脚轻，昏昏沉沉的。鼻子塞着有时会有点上气不接下气的感觉。有没有像行尸走肉我就不知道啦，因为一整天坐在电脑前努力工作，都没有行走到！

一样还是开电话会议，毕竟是我招的嘛，而且实在是没时间了。幸运的他们可以听到我超性感的声音。（‘有些人’是没有廉耻的啦！）

一样还是处理资料，准备报告。一样写电邮打扰同事和回同事骚扰的电邮。一样上面子书还有和同事网上聊天…（呃，写太多了。）

总之是工作照旧的一天，我一样那么的勤劳就是了！（没有良心的人是没有什么盖良心说话或被良心所责那样的事的…)

唯一不同的是，今天我是呆在家里做工，而不是到公司去做。

有位朋友见了我注明在家里工作的通告后打趣问我怎么今天这么爽啊？我无奈的告知是因为生病了啦。她马上叫我停工去休息，还引用我曾告诉她的话：“公司没有了你不会有事的啦，去休息，去休息！”

我腼腆的回答：“讲就是比做容易很多呵？”

她给我打了个吐舌的笑脸。

哪，这个就是叫做自作自受啦！所以说叻，跟朋友讲废话就好了，不要讲这些有道理的话，不然会被倒用来糗你的。

就怪我有那喜欢扮到好像很懂这样来讲道理的坏习惯叻。

是不是很想要掴我一巴，大骂「你有病啊？！」叻？

请看文章第一句。

我是没有得救了的啦！

Retail Therapy

Blew through a quarter of my paycheque today in a few hours of shopping. I don't know how those shopaholics stand it, for I am totally in shock now.

This is supposed to be... enjoyable? My feelings are more towards horrifying and mortifying. >_<

But of course, I do not have the luxury of a quarter of my paycheque burning a hole in my pocket screaming to be spent. How nice it would be if I had that amount of money left every month...

Anyway, I used up all the recognitions I received to date to exchange for gift vouchers in a shopping centre. Capitalising on the sales ongoing now, with almost all of the items bought in the 50% discount range, the gift vouchers were able to cover the bulk of the cost.

The actual money paid was slightly less than a couple of hundreds, more in line with the amount we can afford to spend.

Still, my mind is reeling from the total amount of money spent in that shopping spree. It's just... it's just...

Good grief. 0_o

Now I understand what retail therapy means: after the shopping spree, I need to go for therapy!

Self Psyching

Hey man, I know it has been a rough week or two and you are all bogged down, unhappy.

Gotta tell you, the negative energy level is pretty alarming now you are probably radiating negativity to people around you.

That's just unhealthy and honestly, not nice to those around you.

You are ugly enough as it is, being glum will just make you even more unattractive. Are you trying to be repulsive?

Antisocial is one thing, being repulsive is quite another. Don't go there. Really, don't.

Chin up man! Take a deep breath, and for goodness sake, smile. From the heart, that is.

Not sure if this is just my usual talking to self, trying to psych myself up, or a case of split personality.

Ooh, schizophrenia. Always thought I am not quite right in the mind...

我是邪恶的

好多年前（天啊！不知不觉我这么老了…），在我出国深造的前一晚，妈妈到我房里跟我讲了这一番话：

“儿，我知道你相信「真、善、美」，但你要知道，你对人好，人家不一定就会对你好。对人要有防忌心，不要对任何人都那么坦诚，要会保护自己。”

“不要担心啦，妈咪，最多不是我吃亏点咯。”

年少的我，坚信世界是美好的，人心是高尚清纯的。年少的我，立志要做个好人。

年少的我，真的是有够天真，白痴般的无知。

被残酷的现实蹂凌后我终于领悟母亲那番话的真谛。

原来，有些‘吃亏’是很伤的；有些‘吃亏’是很令人气愤的；有些‘吃亏’是会彻底改变你的人生观的。

不是每个人都值得我们的好、值得我们去善待的。

做好人，是～很～累～的！

现在的我，是神经质反社会的。现在的我，心扉是有重重围墙的。

现在的我，会告诉你，我是邪恶的。

我们是不可能被全世界的人都喜欢的，我们是不可能满足全部人的。我们只能做最真的自己。

岂能尽如人意，但求无愧于心。

要珍惜那些真心对你好的人，要真心善待那些对你好的人。