The Key of a Relationship

To me, it has always been about two things:

• Honest, sincere communication
• Trust

Communication has to be there before a relationship starts, then it helps to flourish the relationship, while trust builds up, and then both communication and trust sustain the relationship.

When I was still single and available, any of the fairer species who has no foundation in the Mandarin language is an automatic zero for "potential girlfriend". Period.

You see, my mother tongue is Mandarin, even though it has gotten rusty over the decade I spent in England, I could only express myself fully using Mandarin all those years ago. So if a lady couldn't understand Mandarin, I don't see how we could develop a healthy long term intimate relationship, when we could not communicate without barrier or obstacles.

Don't get me wrong, I have many friends who don't speak Mandarin, a few of them are really close friends. It's just my belief that if a lady and I could not communicate completely, I couldn't spend a lifetime with her, there would just be something... lacking.

Good thing I found my love one back then, else with my current rusty Mandarin skill and crappy English skill, I would be single forever! 0_o

Anyway, I am writing about this simply to share what I believe is important in a long term relationship.

If you are facing a bump in your relationship, find a suitable time and place to have a heart to heart with your love one. Healthy relationship and communication are alike, they are a two-way thing.

Listen empathically, share sincerely, tell honestly.

Is your love one aware of the problem? Does your love one acknowledge the problem, since you know, in a relationship, it's not your problem or my problem, it's our problem.

Communicate till you get to a solution that both are happy with, if the solution is only satisfactory to one of you, then the problem is bound to come up again, and again, and again...

And you know what's the worse part?

Unresolved problem has the tendency to not only not go away, but to snow ball into even larger, nastier, more complicated problem over time. If left it snow balling long enough, we would find the problem so massive with so many layers that we no longer see the root cause.

Oh, if your love one doesn't care what you are concerned with, then you gotta ask yourself: do you really want to be with him or her for the rest of your life?

I should really do a book review as I am one-fifth of the way into my seventh book since my last review.

I have already forgotten most of what I read! Go go my goldfish memory! =P