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"What?!?! Noooooo!" Harly was shocked.
"What what?" enquired Hagrid, "no body said nothin' yet."
"He's always hearing things, he is a bit unstable, you know, screwed up in the head. So don't listen to him, especially if he said anything to do with me and lingerie," Vernon said hastily.
Vernon was glad to have found something to discredit Harly, he was afraid that Harly might know about his special interest in lingerie, and he sure didn't want Hagrid to find out about it.
"But... but... you said you are my father," Harly stammered.
"Geez boy, yeh sure are hearin' things," said Hagrid, "I ain't yer father boy, doncha know yer father was James Potter? And yer mom Lily Potter? I was 'bout ter tell yeh that yer a wizard!"
"Okaaaaay... is this where I should be real shocked and surprised and you will show me where the hidden cameras are?"
"Huh? I am dead serious Harly, yer a wizard."
"Yea right, and the next prime minister of Malaysia is a Chinese and Dolly is a hot chic," Harly said sarcastically.
Seeing that Harly was otherwise distracted so his secret was safe, Vernon went over to Dorly and tried in vain to lift the unconscious meat ball from the floor. He gave up the futile attempt and dragged Dorly by the feet towards the stairs, intended to get his daughter upstairs and away before returning to get rid of the giant, and perhaps Harly too for good measure.
"Fine, not a wizard eh? Never made things happen when yer scared or angry?" Hagrid asked.
"Well... when Dorly tried to grab my buttocks in the zoo last month, she suddenly ended up in the monkey cage, was that my doing? And I never did understand how I could fit the 48" LCD television and surround sound home theatre system in the cupboard. Oh, and I have infravision, I saw the body heat pattern showing Uncle Vernon wearing a bra when the lights went off earlier. Wish I didn't see that, I am going to have nightmares -"
*Thud* Vernon turned purple in rage and dropped Dorly.
"WHY YOU LITTLE BASTA-" Vernon reached for Harly neck, intended to choke him like Homer Simpson does Bart.
Before Vernon could get hold of Harly though, Hagrid pulled out his pink umbrella and there was a flash of violet light followed by a loud *BANG*
"What what?" enquired Hagrid, "no body said nothin' yet."
"He's always hearing things, he is a bit unstable, you know, screwed up in the head. So don't listen to him, especially if he said anything to do with me and lingerie," Vernon said hastily.
Vernon was glad to have found something to discredit Harly, he was afraid that Harly might know about his special interest in lingerie, and he sure didn't want Hagrid to find out about it.
"But... but... you said you are my father," Harly stammered.
"Geez boy, yeh sure are hearin' things," said Hagrid, "I ain't yer father boy, doncha know yer father was James Potter? And yer mom Lily Potter? I was 'bout ter tell yeh that yer a wizard!"
"Okaaaaay... is this where I should be real shocked and surprised and you will show me where the hidden cameras are?"
"Huh? I am dead serious Harly, yer a wizard."
"Yea right, and the next prime minister of Malaysia is a Chinese and Dolly is a hot chic," Harly said sarcastically.
Seeing that Harly was otherwise distracted so his secret was safe, Vernon went over to Dorly and tried in vain to lift the unconscious meat ball from the floor. He gave up the futile attempt and dragged Dorly by the feet towards the stairs, intended to get his daughter upstairs and away before returning to get rid of the giant, and perhaps Harly too for good measure.
"Fine, not a wizard eh? Never made things happen when yer scared or angry?" Hagrid asked.
"Well... when Dorly tried to grab my buttocks in the zoo last month, she suddenly ended up in the monkey cage, was that my doing? And I never did understand how I could fit the 48" LCD television and surround sound home theatre system in the cupboard. Oh, and I have infravision, I saw the body heat pattern showing Uncle Vernon wearing a bra when the lights went off earlier. Wish I didn't see that, I am going to have nightmares -"
*Thud* Vernon turned purple in rage and dropped Dorly.
"WHY YOU LITTLE BASTA-" Vernon reached for Harly neck, intended to choke him like Homer Simpson does Bart.
Before Vernon could get hold of Harly though, Hagrid pulled out his pink umbrella and there was a flash of violet light followed by a loud *BANG*
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(to be continued...)
3 comments:
Have to write this one up real quick before I lose my one loyal reader. =)
haha ~ funny story ~ here comes your second dans. Keep on the hard work!
Harly! Harly! keep writing! can't wait that long....
Thanks for your 'birthday present'
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