Harly Potter and the Heart-shaped Stone (1)

J.K Rowling created Harry Potter on a train journey. I am now in Changi Airport waiting for my flight to The States, in transit waiting time is ever so boring so I am trying to come out with a story that will make me a billionaire.

One can dream, right?

If you haven't heard of Harry Potter, then I gotta ask:

"Seriously, where on earth have you been these few years?"

If you have seen the movies but not the story books, then I urge you to read the story books since the movies are crap nothing like the story books. The first two books are especially nice and easy read, it turned a bit dark and sinister from the third book onwards. I suppose that's when Rowling realised her books appeal not only to the children but the adults too, and writing to cater for the adults makes a lot of sense since they are the ones with the cash and credit cards. Cha-ching!

Anyway, since I am not J.K. Rowling nor am I very imaginative, I am going to blatantly plagiarize her work and pray really hard that she won't sue me for intellectual property infringement since I am poor and have to feed a family of three.

Come on lar, this is just all in jest nia, pretty pretty please with sugar on top?

Okay, here goes nothing...

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So hor, there was this boy with a scar on his forehead named Harly Potter who lived with his aunty and uncle in a ulu place somewhere in England. You can call him Harly, Arly, Harry, Oi, but not Hairy, since that's the name of his pet spider.

You see leh, Harly slept in the cupboard under the stairs one, so he has many spider friends lor. Among all the spiders that reside with him in the cupboard, Harly liked Hairy the most, much to the jealousy of Spidy, Icky, Furry, Leggy, Sticky, Webby, MoMo and Whatsupwiththenames-y. Spidy is particularly jaded so it refused to infuse Harly with super power despite biting Harly on many occasions.

Since Harly slept in such a confined space, made worse by the 48" LCD television and surround sound home theatre system, he is skinny and short. Oh, he also developed a much sensitive eye sight with partial infravision, a limited ability to detect body heat in the dark, which he put to good use when sneaking out of his cupboard at night to steal food from the fridge.

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(Hmm... talking about food, I should really go grab my lunch now.)

to be continued...