心的频道：灰·蓝

自从那包装成仿佛有选择但事实非如此的命令传了下来后，我的心境灰到现在。

我是偏向孤僻的人，我的爱好几乎都是独自一人的活动。

工作以外我是宅在家里的。

对我来说，人际关系是很复杂，很费神的。

所以我喜欢那些不必要依赖他人，那些我可以亲手完成的工作。

或只是需要少数可靠的，认识的同事就可以完成的工作。

教导，示范，分享知识没有问题，但我不喜欢去监督，催促，指示他人。

更不喜欢那些办公室的政治和小动作。

我明白我的个性，所以有些工作，和它的性质是不适合我的。

上司要我放弃我的强项，把我丢进我一窍不通的全新工作岗位，需要和一大堆同事勾心斗角那种。

怎能不沮丧？

要么就是硬着头皮做下去，要么就是换老板，换部门，换工作。

那，就是我有的选择。

唉… 心情灰灰的，蓝蓝的。

心的频道 |系列|

Hot Indonesia Curry

This is most likely my first and last politically related entry. Politics is, to me, a necessary evil. I am not fond of it, doesn't mean I don't care, I just don't like to talk about it.

Anyway, you have to know Mandarin and Malay, and have been following Malaysia 13th general election to understand the title of the entry. =)

Thanks to the newly downloaded Path of Exile online game, I went to sleep around 05:00 hours. My bad. =P

Alarm woke me up at 06:45 hours and I was off to my voting station after the shower. Half an hour drive to the other side of the island, again, my own bad for not changing the address on my national identity card.

Had breakfast at a nearby food court, then walked over to the voting station. I was there around 07:50 hours, and there were already queues.

Eventually got to my designated room, and finally found out who the candidates are from the poster on the door. I don't give a damn really, I am voting for the lesser evil of the political parties.

Got my ballot tickets after another queue, checked that they were clean, walked to the covered table, two quick crosses with my left index finger awkwardly positioned since smartypants decided to mark people before instead of after they have voted, and I was out. Took me at most two minutes in the room, most of it in checking my name, inking me, and giving me the ballot tickets really.

Done, hopefully giving my children a better future

Since I am writing a politically related entry, may as well be done with it once and for all. So here goes my personal opinions on politics...

In my beloved country, politicians who are selfless and genuinely rendering their services for the good of the people are few and far in between.

I despise most of the politicians, for they do not understand that the government serves the people, not the other way round. There are just so many in power who are corrupted, self-serving, constantly making a fool of themselves and thus ruining the reputation of the country.

Power corrupts, and so many of the crook politicians believe they are omnipotent, that they can get away with anything. So they blatantly used our money for they greed, and did damnable things, including but not limited to taking of life, to further their own filthy agenda.

And they had the nerve to insult our intelligence by giving lame and ridiculous excuses, and then swept the issues under the carpet pretending they didn't happen.

I suppose that's really the best they could come up with, after all, in most countries, intelligent people are governed by those a lot less intelligent than they are. Fools who would have bought the stupid excuses themselves.

In my country, most of them are not only fools, but thugs and bullies. Real bunch of lowlives. Just look at the blatant cheating, dirty tricks, foul plays, briberies, money politics, terror and rumour mongering they are doing in this general election.

Absolutely despicable. Total waste of oxygen, the lot.

When will they learn that respect is not bought, respect is earned. Fear, terror is not respect.

Those short-sighted greedy dumbarses who fell for the the bribes, the "candies" dished out by the desperate and filthy political party, have you no respect for yourselves? No dignity whatsoever? Can't you think further? Your future is only worth that couple of hundreds, or thousands? Shame on you!

Sometimes I think these idiots deserved to be governed by the corrupted government. The only problem is that they are dragging me down with them, bastards.

To me, it's a no brainer choice. When the government no longer serves the people, no longer has the people's best interest at heart, it's time to change. I don't give a damn which political party.

But of course, we can't even get a clean and fair election, no thanks to the corruption. We need a clean start, uproot and wash away all the filth.

I am choosing the lesser evil of the lot, with the hope that it will bring the country a better future. For the country. For the people. For my children.

Here's hoping a change will come through, and Malaysia will have a new and better beginning.

Hot Indonesia Curry! =P

Evolution

To the caveman within me:

I am sorry, truely I am.

But I cannot deny that genuine disappointment I felt when I found out that a colleague has gotten his black version of the smartphone today while I have to wait till next week for my white version.

It's then that I realised I am looking forward to getting the smartphone.

That eager anticipation is a clear indication that we are drifting apart. I... I... I don't know what to say.

When the pigs flew and I had fallen to the dark side all those years ago, I thought I could still keep my identity, albeit tainted.

Please know that all these years you are still a big part of me, remember that hiccup?

And despite having the mobile phone for years now, it still jolts me everytime I received a SMS. Honestly, I kid you not.

They called that kind of mobile phone a 'dumb phone' nowadays, but... but... dumb phone suits me just fine really. I can't make up my mind if it's because I am dumb, or because I am smart enough I don't need a smartphone.

Anyway, my dear inner caveman, I think I am losing you... I am losing my identity.

I think I have evolved.

My dear inner caveman, I want to give you this song, a song from our goddess, sorry.

Celebrations

The erm... "2nd album release" earlier this month is a big deal to me.

Really big deal. The next one will probably be a long time away, if ever.

I believe in sharing, especially happiness. I am mightily happy with the "album release" so it calls for a celebration!

The funny thing is, I ended up with several celebrations. Well, actually it's not funny, it's rather sad.

The first thing I did to give myself a pat on the back was to buy an expensive pack of crisps from Tesco. Potato chips and chilled Coke while reading a novel, aaa... bliss!

Wifey didn't like it, so I ended up finishing the whole pack myself. Okay, it wasn't all that tasty really, but it's freaking expensive so I ate every piece.

I guess that counted as the first celebration, somewhat.

The second celebration was to have a nice family dinner, eating out. But the plan fell apart on the day, I didn't even have a say in it. No body bothered to inform me as well.

When I finally found out nearing the time we were supposed to go out, I was definitely not a happy bunny. I went out for a long walk. A really really long walk.

And I ended up having the supposingly celebratory dinner alone, and instead of some fancy restaurant, I had a meal deal in Burger King.

So happy, not.

The third celebration was probably the real celebration, all considered. It's the karaoke session where colleagues (of which most are friends) gave face and turned up. Thank you, sincerely.

Too bad I was sick and couldn't really sing. -_-

Probably no body believed me (why ler? I honest one...) when I said I didn't bear the full cost for that karaoke session. But thank you "record company", for footing half the bill.

The second attempt at family dinner out was the last celebration. Last because I gave up after that.

Of all the nice restaurants to choose from, wifey let the kids decide and His Royal Highness Boy King Hsiang wanted KFC. -_-

Let's just say that after the dinner wifey said to never go eat at KFC again since both she and His Royal Highness Boy King Young don't like it.

What a cheery celebration, not.

I'll be back (4)

In this series: |part 1| |part 2| |part 3|

All photos in this series are presented as photographed, unless otherwise specified, the only image manipulations done were resize, crop and adding watermark.

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April's theme for The Light Room is 'Happiness'. A theme that leaves much to interpretation and space for creativity.

High-key lighting technique popped up in my mind as soon as I saw the theme. It's something that I have always wanted to try but never did get to, and I think the technique suits the theme.

how to show that reading while eating junk food and sipping chilled Coke is a happy thing for me?

tweak: contrast +5%

Ideas for subject that popped up include reading, writing, sleeping, chocolate, board game, card game, smiling face, kids with balloons, clasped hands with the wedding bands showing, clasped hands as foreground focus framing kids playing as out of focus background, toes of parents as foreground focus with kids playing as out of focus background at the seaside. All these with high key lighting.

 

my joy in writing, sharing, and a philosophical take on the theme

tweak: software change to black & white

I know I know, some of the things may not be happiness to others but hey, this is my photo! =P

The theme also reminded me of an entry I posted a few years back, for a hand made birthday present.

 

tried a few versions, not really happy with all the attempts though. Probably should have highlighted that sentence or printed in red or some other colour

tweak: software change to black & white

Took photos of board game, of my kids playing board game, of my kids smiling faces as well. But didn't like any of those.

I need a proper DSLR, a fast lens and a dedicated flash for the people's shot to get the effect I want. Since I don't have any of those, I settled for inanimated objects.

Deefer! My stuffed toy dog with a huge smile

Those clasped hands, toes at seaside, kid with balloons images would probably be real nice if I could pull them off. For now, they will remain in my mind in their perfect form. =P

 

this is the photo I submitted, I like the tilted head Deefer more ^_^

All original work on this site is copyright C.K. Goh and may not be copied or reprinted without my express written approval.

Happy bunny

Today was a lot less productive compared to other days, work wise.

Oh well, gotta maintain the slacker extraordinaire reputation from time to time. =P

But today was a bloody good day, very satisfying day. For my soul and tummy.

^_^

Thank you so much my dear dependable karaoke kaki, so fantastic to have a reliable group of buddies for my singing fix.

Felt so... liberated after shouting my head off. =)

Dinner was nice and joyous. Farewell speeches from the two retiring colleagues were humourous and inspirational.

Remember, don't bring the work home. Make friends, not enemies. Love what you do. And most importantly, beg for janitor's room for a chance to stay in presidential suite!

Fare thee well my retiring colleagues, best wishes.

有感而发：低落

二零一三年四月六日。

今天心情怪怪的。

有点低落。

还算是睡得比较好的一晚，但起身时仍是累。

是因为还没复原吧？

星期四病了没去上班，昨天好了点但去到公司时开始头昏脑胀，徒劳无功的一天后回到家有点死尸的感觉。

今天起身后吐出了浓浓绿色的痰，好像更严重了，唉…

不想讲话的一天。

也无妨，反正家人都没有要和我讲话的习惯。是有点悲，但事实。

感觉不是很好，很纳闷，有点烦躁，我想会容易发脾气，所以我都尽量将自己关在房里。

但老婆仔去做脸的那几个小时我得照顾那两个小瓜。

和他们组装我设计的 LEGO 机器人。欣慰他们都蛮有兴趣的，至少我的努力不是白费。最近有好多徒劳无功的经验，真的够了。

过后大瓜掉碎了他的机器人，我帮他组装回后发现少了一块，我便叫他去找回来。

我收拾东西完后发现两个瓜在玩闹着，问大瓜他找到遗失的那块 LEGO 了没他才做状很敷衍的找了一下说找不到，然后就跑去和弟弟继续闹。

我顿时有点气，怎么这么没有责任感的？

我叫住两个瓜，告诉他们找到遗失的那块 LEGO 前他们什么都不能做。两人又做状很敷衍的找，我真的生气了，告诉他们若我先找到就用藤条打他们，他们终于才认真的找。

但竟然是找些不可能会找到的地方。天啊！在客厅的地上掉碎怎么可能会掉到饭厅里呢？怎么可能会飞上架子呢？怎么可能会在关着的容器里呢？我的孩子怎么会这么笨？

我气到讲不出话，在大瓜告诉我他弄掉的地方去找，马上就找到了。就在那地方他们乱丢在地上的书的两页之间。

我没有打他们，生气之余是失望和那失败的感觉。孩子没有责任感，和没有逻辑思想，是父母教育的失败。

给他们吃过点心后我让他们看电视，独自在一旁生闷气。好烂的心情。

老婆仔回来后我再次把自己关在房里。有点无聊，又坐立不安。

心情很差。很显。累，也不知道是身躯还是心灵的累。

夜间老婆仔终于有空给我抓着讲话时我告诉她我的心情，请她给我一点关爱。她耸了耸肩膀，说她也不知道应该做什么，然后就走了。

我…好失落…

有感而发 |系列|