I am...

doing what slacker extraordinaire does best, of course!

Trust

I forgot to touch on trust in the previous entry.

The spur of the moment that led me to write the previous entry has passed though and I am just not in that frame of mind at the time being.

That said, I do want to write about trust so I will just put in words whatever goes through my mind now.

Of course, similar to the previous entry, I am simply sharing my personal take on life, on relationship, my own beliefs and the principles that I uphold. Do apply your own discretion.

Trust in a relationship builds over time by simply being our genuine selves, no deceit, no pretence, no hidden agenda. And of course, by always keeping our promises.

Don't make a promise if you do not intend to keep it.

Trust is a sacred thing. While we continue to build and maintain our trustworthiness, it's not something that we withdraw like a bank account.

Any abuse or violation of trust will mar it forever, like a scar that can never be erased. A single violation of trust will plant the seed of doubt in a relationship and it will never be the same again.

After all, if a person has abused the trust once, how do we know said person will not do it again? Say bye bye to trust as doubt and second guessing poison the relationship.

Do not ever violate the trust if you value the relationship, and your reputation.

This is not a dare, this is simply my advice to those who want peace of mind in their relationship, who want a relationship that can withstand slanders, who value the sense of security with their love one.

Trust me, don't maltreat trust.

The Key of a Relationship

To me, it has always been about two things:

• Honest, sincere communication
• Trust

Communication has to be there before a relationship starts, then it helps to flourish the relationship, while trust builds up, and then both communication and trust sustain the relationship.

When I was still single and available, any of the fairer species who has no foundation in the Mandarin language is an automatic zero for "potential girlfriend". Period.

You see, my mother tongue is Mandarin, even though it has gotten rusty over the decade I spent in England, I could only express myself fully using Mandarin all those years ago. So if a lady couldn't understand Mandarin, I don't see how we could develop a healthy long term intimate relationship, when we could not communicate without barrier or obstacles.

Don't get me wrong, I have many friends who don't speak Mandarin, a few of them are really close friends. It's just my belief that if a lady and I could not communicate completely, I couldn't spend a lifetime with her, there would just be something... lacking.

Good thing I found my love one back then, else with my current rusty Mandarin skill and crappy English skill, I would be single forever! 0_o

Anyway, I am writing about this simply to share what I believe is important in a long term relationship.

If you are facing a bump in your relationship, find a suitable time and place to have a heart to heart with your love one. Healthy relationship and communication are alike, they are a two-way thing.

Listen empathically, share sincerely, tell honestly.

Is your love one aware of the problem? Does your love one acknowledge the problem, since you know, in a relationship, it's not your problem or my problem, it's our problem.

Communicate till you get to a solution that both are happy with, if the solution is only satisfactory to one of you, then the problem is bound to come up again, and again, and again...

And you know what's the worse part?

Unresolved problem has the tendency to not only not go away, but to snow ball into even larger, nastier, more complicated problem over time. If left it snow balling long enough, we would find the problem so massive with so many layers that we no longer see the root cause.

Oh, if your love one doesn't care what you are concerned with, then you gotta ask yourself: do you really want to be with him or her for the rest of your life?

I should really do a book review as I am one-fifth of the way into my seventh book since my last review.

I have already forgotten most of what I read! Go go my goldfish memory! =P

鸟人成仙记 Introducing Nelson

江边一只大话鸟

There's this bird beside the river that's full of shits (the bird, not the river)

男女通杀

Attracted to both genders

我男女都爱因为…我像神酱，博爱世人！！

I love both man and woman because... I'm like a God, I'm all loving!!

鸟神 (God of Birds)

Nelson

As I have said I like to promote Nelson more this year, the next Nelson promoting entry will most likely be titled:

"There is something about Nelson"

Stay tuned (but don't hold your breath).

=)

Finally completed my documentation and spammed sent it to the relevant people.

Here's hoping that's the end of it.

Who am I kidding?

While writing the document I already had another "hmm, what if..." moment and had already started on another 24 cases to quench my curiosity.

Oh well, 'job security'!

=P

This is a rant

Jeez, first entry of 2009, and it's going to be a rant.

This is so veli da MEH!

I have been going to bed after 02:00 hours everyday since entering 2009, starting the night of 2nd of January, Friday.

The reason?

I have been working every night until I simply had to hit the bed, including weekend.

And guess what I did on New Year's Day when everyone was celebrating?

Work, work, work.

Remember the 80ish modelling cases I said I have to redo, and that I would be cutting corners down to 50ish cases?

Well, I have completed all the simulations, a grand total of 128 cases.

So much for cutting corners...

I only have myself to blame, I think I got carried away with the "hmm... what if..." moments. >.<

So I have been post-processing all those cases, analysing the data, and working on the documentation which is supposed to be dued, erm... last week.

What a way to start a new year. Great, just bloody freaking great.

=\

In order to save this entry from a complete moronic rant, it's of great pleasure to know that there will be (at least) two July babies from my colleagues this year.

And while she hasn't announced it and we didn't ask (not knowing if the parents-to-be want to keep it a secret still), it's obvious from the Christmas gathering that a high school friend of mine is going to have a baby (or more!) this coming, hmm... June? July? Maybe May even! (my bulging tummy pregnancy duration judging skill is veli da meh!)

Congratulations! =D

Oh, and here's my grocery shopping list, sorry bananas and watermelons, get someone to translate if you are really interested. =)

improvise when you forgot how to write a word! =P

Bye bye 2008

As 2008 is coming to an end, it's fitting to spend a while reflecting on the achievements obtained and count the number of resolutions accomplished.

You know, this is going to be really easy for me since my 2008 is lacklustre at best.

Nothing worthy comes to my mind for achievement. The only thing I can think of is that tagged-along department award which by sheer dumb luck I just happened to be with the right group of colleagues who did all the super high-tech advance stuff. I contributed next to nothing, so that doesn't count.

If I really stretch it, I could say that my one achievement is that I still have my job. Slacker extraordinaire is still employed, maybe that count for something?

As for the resolutions set at the beginning of 2008, well... I didn't accomplished any of it.

• Half marathon: nope, didn't happen, stopped the training when I was sick and never did resume.
• Archery: thought and still thinking of picking it up again, but never did happen.
• Photography: same story as archery.

Not just that, I have a few ideas and things that I like to do, but just hasn't happened, like:

• the guide about basics of photography I wanted to write and post on my blog
• finish the Baldur's Gate series, I have had the game for ages!
• get a baby girl in the year of the Rat, so we can have "Snake" and "Rat" in the house! =P
• and so on...

Me is weak. >.<

Ah well. To make myself feel better, I did started a vibrant vocabulary category in this blog, those "Vocabulary Lesson with CK" entries to spread the language polution, hehehe.

Also started the gross grafitti category simply because a colleague said I have talent and I am gullible enough to be fooled.

It's safe to say that my 2008 is simply MEH!. To avoid the same thing happening in 2009, I am not going to set any resolution! =P

Well, maybe just a few things that I really like to do... I have promised to bug a colleague more and got thanked for that, so I have to keep the promise. Make baby. Maybe get a mobile phone (yea, the sky is falling!). Make baby. Help to get Nelson 'Kok Kok' Tan even more well-known. Make baby. Make more fun of myself. Make baby.

Did I mention I want to get a baby in 2009? Preferably girl. Already have His Royal Highness King Baby Hsiang, who was made in England. We want one made in Malaysia! Haven't succeeded thus far, I think we gotta try the Titanic style 'hand on steamed glass thingy'. =D

Happy new year everyone, may your 2009 be fantastic!

Make baby! =P