自我感觉良好！

最近比较累，能量比较低。

没什么精神、没什么兴致、没什么干劲。

是的，忧郁症，但应该是比较轻微的。

至少我希望是。

难得周末不必早起，不必天还没亮就已经到公司开始工作，我当然要睡或赖床到太阳晒屁股啦！

尊重周末和尊重自己。

醒了又赖床到睡回几轮，到情人老婆仔终于惊醒我时，已经快中午了。

哇噻，超满足、超成就感的啦！

常常立志周末要这么做，但常常都做不到，真失败…

但今天我做到啦！我睡到太阳晒屁股了，嘢！

太好了，自己真厉害。

比起几天前那模棱两可的感觉，今天是非常笃定的自我感觉良好，呵呵！

随兴随想 |系列|

Backlogs #23: Horrible maths

This screenshot is dated 10th of January 2019, a fairly recent event, titled "horrible maths".

Early in the year, a colleague friend found out that I have changed department and am now back to the island site after the many years at ulu place.

I was commenting on the horrible traffic when she exposed her horrible maths...

Erm... ya, 70 minus 50 equals 20, not 10. Children, practise your maths so you don't end up like this.

In this series: |1| |2| |3| |4| |5| |6| |7| |8| |9| |10| |11| |12| |13| |14| |15| |16| |17| |18| |19| |20| |21| |22|

自我感觉良好… 呱？

我这做了三个月的部门，会请我就是因为现在正做着的一个项目。

当初他们找散热工程师时一定是蛮急的，因为当初面试时都不是正统的面试，而是直接叫我帮他们为这个项目想个散热的方案。

没头没尾的，我当时就凭我懂的说了说自己想到的散热系统的主意。

这项目最终是根据谁的主意做了原本那散热系统我不想去追究，重点是它不够好，达不到系统需要的散热能力。

所以虽然我加入部门时这项目已经过了一大半，我还是派得上用场啦！

公司请我，是来解决问题的，不是来制造问题的。

与其将指头指来指去，浪费时间又无济于事，我宁愿把精神和能量用在解决问题上。

原本的散热系统只能让整个系统达到百分之六十的功率，还差个蛮棘手的百分之四十。

达不到公司保证的百分百功率，产品是出不了门、不能交到客户手上的。连样本都不行，公司名誉很重要嘛。

所以我很有系统的研究和探讨了原本的散热系统的问题和不足，提供了针对性的更改、提升、和优化的方案。

合作制造的公司照着我提出的方案做了样本，然后我就到那儿去测试和评估啦。

那就是为什么我最近出差到中国厦门一周咯。（出差好累人！）

结果齁，改良后的散热系统，可以让整个系统达到百分之一百三十的功率！

有整整百分之三十的额外散热能力，所以系统机会式的功率提升也不是问题了。

不用客气哦，哈哈！

坦白和不要脸的说，我真的觉得自己很厉害的啦，呵呵！ =P

自我感觉良好。

希望经理会有没请错人的想法啦。

但是齁，好像经理都不以为然的，呃…

还有就是几天前这项目拿到了部门的优异奖，是做项目前半部的那批人拿奖啦，跟我无关。

就突然有那好像已经错过时机，现在只是在收拾别人的手尾的感觉咯…

自我感觉… 不是那么良好。

随兴随想 |系列|

有感而发：我说了，只是…

二零一九年三月二十三日。

感恩那些偶尔会联系，问问近况的朋友。

毕竟自己是不擅交际、比较内向、比较被动的人。

向往平淡生活的我，过得简简单单，没什么特别。

把部落格当日记，我把生活写在其中，不在乎分享，更重要的是方便自己以后可以回忆、追忆。

联系的朋友常常会提起一些刚刚才上载的事物，我也不耐其烦的重复。

毕竟，这不是一、两次，而是很多很多次，不断重复的情节。

我明白，我上载在部落格，虽然就是告诉了整个互联网，但并不代表告诉了任何人。

只是告诉了那些有关注我部落格的人。

而我也很明白，很少人关注我的部落格…

所以要重新叙说我不久前才上载了，我觉得蛮详细的记叙，还真的是习以为常。

比较笑哭不得、无奈、和有点委屈的是，当我被问：“为什么这样的事也不说，不告诉别人的？”

“要会分享和分担嘛，不要什么都自己收着的。”

嗯… 唔…

其实我说了，只是…

算了吧。

还是要感谢会主动联系问候的朋友，谢谢你们。

有感而发 |系列|

Wrong hole

Took the day off, replacing the overtime I did on Sunday.

Initially planned to replace the day at some other time, maybe make it a long weekend or something, but woke up feeling rubbish so what the heck.

The aftermath of business trip. Nasty thing, travelling.

Tiredness aside, it's the stomach discomfort that sealed the deal.

Pretty much felt like I have been peeing from the butt hole this whole day.

Only, of course, it's not pee...

Messy, uncomfortable, disgusting feeling.

Other |temperamental thoughts| category entries.

Not my thing

Travel.

The anxiety, the many security checks, the wait, the uncomfortable chair, the confined space, the stress...

So darn exhausting, what a bloody drain.

Stomach acting up today didn't help, which is probably stress related...

Had a bowl of soup, a few pieces of fruits, a chocolate bar, and a small tub of icecream as sustenance for the whole day.

Bollocks, just bollocks.

I am sure there are many who like to travel, I am just not one of them.

Travelling incurs so much wasted time, and is just so freaking exhausting.

I am feeling very heaty now, and the stomach is still acting up.

Bollocks!

Other |tiresome travels| category entries.

Headache

As the US manager already called to inform up front that he expected me to work through the weekend while I am at supplier site, I came prepared for a continuous twelve days work weeks.

*Sigh...*

Just thinking about it gives me headache. And I have been having many headaches lately.

However to my pleasant surprise, I did not have to work today, as the component for experiment will only be ready for testing tomorrow so there was no point going to work today.

Yay! I got the day off.

As the other colleague has arrived yesterday evening, initially we planned to go sightseeing together. However I started to have a splitting headache after breakfast so in the end he had to go alone while I stayed in nursing my headache.

Slept, or tried to sleep until about 13:30 hours then got up and went out looking for food. Ended up walking to a mall, strolled the six stories. There is a sales this weekend but just walking by all the shops drained me.

Darn, that was more exhausting than my weekend walk/exercise.

Shopping is really not my thing.

Not in the mood for a proper meal so I ended up buying some chips and snacks for a late lunch/tea thing back in the hotel.

Then the headache returned so I tried to sleep again, eventually getting up around 18:00 hours.

This is bad, this constant headache. I think it's travel stress and bad quality of sleep. Hope it's not something else.

But anyway, I got my Redbull ready and I am bringing my pain killers with me to work.

Colleague came back from sightseeing so we went out for dinner, back to the mall and had Japanese and then dessert.

I will work tomorrow, and since there will be no one else besides me and the supplier site thermal engineer, there is no point for my colleague to go to the office. So it's another day of sightseeing for him!

Another thing that is causing me headache is that damn weighing scale in the hotel bathroom. Curiosity is a bad thing, now I know I am 65kg and even if I stripped naked I am still 64+kg.

Oh man, headache!

Other |temperamental thoughts| category entries.

安哥动一动

换了部门至今，两个月多，完全没有运动到。

不算每天家里那些掌上压、举脚等的锻炼啦。

以前在旧的部门时每个星期有两次的羽球，打得很烂但还是会一身汗。

运动流汗感觉很好，应该会健康点，而且可以缓慢发胖的速度。

运动是为了可以省下那些买大号衣服的钱来花在吃更多上，不是吗？

是不是真的有效我不知道，至少我是这样想啦…

话说回来，两个月多没有运动了，肚皮备用胎越来越大。

大到自己都看不过眼，大到情人老婆仔也说 “嗯，是蛮大了的…”

别人怎么讲我都不在乎，但老婆仔讲的我一定要在乎！

所以我立志一定要开始有规律的运动。

今天早上，（呃… 其实到我起床也不早了啦…）一点都不尊重周末要赖床到太阳晒屁股的我发奋图强狠心的离开了温暖舒服、诱人万分的床，出门走了一走。

快走四十分钟，到了孩子们射箭比赛的地方。

老婆仔坐在那闷得没心情理我，孩子们也一样。小瓜甚至就站在我身前都当我没到，一直到老婆仔问他是谁站在他身旁他才惊觉。

我果然很透明…

这些比赛就是这样，不管做了多少次都还是没效率的浪费时间，永远学不会、不会进步的一群人。

老婆仔和孩子们都是闷闷不乐的，我又渴又想坐下来歇一歇，但都没有地方，所以过一会我就无趣的独自去附近的咖啡店坐下来吃我的早午餐。

到了这年龄，很多时候叫小贩都是叫老板或老板娘，而不是叫安哥或安娣了，除非对方是很明显的长者。

那福建面的老板娘，看起来应该是比我大一点，但叫安娣好像不太适合。

我应该是太久没运动了所以当时很残很憔悴吧？因为她先发制人的叫我安哥，唉…

至少她诚实，不像那些什么人都叫帅哥美女的小贩。

就是这些口是心非的人啦，给那些有自恋倾向的人假象，然后那些自恋的人就理所当然的越来越严重。

就这样咯，搞出一大堆不知道应该笑还是哭的尴尬情况，一大堆的社会问题，一大堆应该去看医生的自恋自拍病患者。

唔，离题…

吃饱后有力气，就沿着另一条马路走回家咯。

回途没有快走，只是普通速度，但也是用了四十分钟，应该是比较短的一个路程吧？

冲凉时脚的肌肉微酸，但背的肌肉就酸痛，唉，人就是不要老…

脚的肌肉应该是明天才会给我麻烦吧？

怎么都好，我要坚持每个周末出去走一走，动一动，流流汗。

为我自己加油！

随兴随想 |系列|

没天理！

对我有一定认识的人都应该知道，我不喜欢电话。

刚开始工作时我是没有手机的，觉得没必要，毕竟公司有给我一个直线号码，有事找我就打那号码咯。

过后公司把系统无线化，换成用网路电话，更容易找到我了，毕竟工作时都会带着手提电脑，也就是我的公司电话。

所以何必要个手机哦？

以前的我们，都没有手提电话这玩意的啦，还不是好好的。

计划周详，每个人有责任感和时间观念，就不用手机的啦…

不过最后我还是拿了个手机，因为部门换去遥远的郊外田园里，以便交通上有意外可以应急。

为了这理由，勉强可以接受啦。

每个人开始对智能手机疯狂和开始沦陷其中时，我很满足于我那普通的手机。

要么就是我有智慧，不必一个智能手机；要么就是我太蠢了，不能用智能手机。

一点都不在乎别人怎么想。

反正我没有那个需要。

当我由头到尾做的第一个产品被放进一部智能手机里时，我觉得拥有一个自己的工作成果很有纪念价值，所以便买了一部。

从此沉陷黑暗的一面。

唉，请大家哀默一分钟…

谢谢。

然后就是看着智能手机越做越大、越做越贵、越来越不方便带、越来越不耐、越来越多跟电话无关的那些有的没有的，到变成相机镜头的比赛，真的是「哇得发」？

这些已变成装不进口袋、大到可以用来打乒乓遮太阳、只耐半年到一年半、已到了要我两个月的薪水、有没什么人用的电话功能但其实是在卖可以上网的数码相机的东西，竟然还是一直持续消费大众，还是有人卖身卖肾卖屁股的盲目跟随。

对不起我这洞穴人实在无法理喻和不能接受这荒谬。

请给我方便携带、可靠耐用、价钱合理的手机。

同事们有笑我，叫我换手机啦！

没有无时无刻都需要上网、要查面子书、要小萤幕追剧或玩游戏、要拍食物照后才能吃或连拍几十张自拍照的我，很满足我现在用着的那部可以打电话，发收短讯，和能用 WhatsApp 的智能手机。

我手机的用途，始终还是为了通讯。

上网啊、拍照啊、玩电脑游戏啊、看戏啊，我选择更舒服更合适的用具和平台。

但是！

这可恶的但是…

今天，为了要到别国出差而需要用到的一些应用程序，我被逼要换手机。

我现在用着的手机太旧了，不能支持那些应用程序…

天啊！ 为什么？！？！！

这样来害我要换手机，没天理啊～

要换个新点，但更大更难带的手机，我很不爽咯！

随兴随想 |系列|

Inner vs outer me

Lousy day at work.

First day of the week, and I was in the lab early in the morning before most of my colleagues were even in the office yet.

I was eager, I had my tasks planned, and it's going to be mightily satisfying completing those tasks and then put together an informative package of my findings for the rest of the team.

If all went as planned.

But it didn't.

Bollocks!

That darn piece of... system is just not stable, hardly got anything useful done.

It failed, and failed, and failed some more, then it booted up and gave me hope, only to reboot itself when I was half way setting up to run an important experiment.

And then it continued to fail.

Bollocks!

What I felt and wished to do was not what I actually expressed and did.

I am so... fake. =(

I was cursing inside, wanting to hammer it to pieces, that piece of lousy shit!

But when I finally got enough of the frustration, I didn't smashed it to piece, but carefully packed it and locked it up like it's very precious.

I left the lab and informed my colleague about the issue, all professional and business like. No swearing, no bad-mouthing, cool cucumber.

While inside I was thinking about all the ways I could destroy that piece of junk.

I may not appear like an angel outside, but trust me, it's definitely a demon inside.

Lousy way to start a week, meh!

Other |runaway rants| category entries.

Random behaviour for March 2019

Truth is, I don't remember whether I succeeded in my December's resolution or not, I think I did. goldfish memory +1

I started playing games more consistently anyway, especially after I return to Azeroth, so that's a good thing.

January is when everybody make their resolutions and so I don't, I am just like that.

Year long resolution is not for me anyway, I need to make shorter resolution for it to work, hence these monthly resolutions thingy, which I called random behaviour just to trick myself. And I think of them as discipline training, playing psychology with myself, hehe.

Chinese New Year in February, I decided to indulge myself so I didn't set anything that month. I did tell wifey to not buy and stock any soft drinks at home after we finish the Chinese New Year stock.

So no more soft drinks at home, not sure how long I can last, I tried not to think of it as a long term resolution else I will likely fail, and I can still have soft drink when I am out, so...

I really ought to get back to regular exercise, my spare tyre is... let's just say I am getting out of shape. Not that I have any shape to begin with but well, you know what I mean.

So, for March 2019, starting next weekend ( =P ), my impromptu resolution is: to do exercise, any kind on top of the daily push-up, legs-lift and air-cycle, at least once every weekend.

Because I can.

Other |flickering fling| category entries.