Upgrading evilness

End of the first month of 2016.

Still coughing. Bollocks.

I have realised that an annual list of resolutions almost always end up in failure for me, hence I am tricking myself into a monthly resolution thingy, which seems to have better success rate.

That said, I do have a generic resolution kind of thing going for this year.

In nicer words it's about prioritising my health, both physical and psychological, i.e. mental wellness, happiness, etc., above work; it's about giving time and caring only to those deserving; it's about a careful management of my self-generated energy (introvert); it's about caring even less about what the others said and/or do that is not of my interest, including ignoring all the rumours targeted at me.

In reality all these will probably be perceived as: slack, selfish, anti-social, aloof, take first then only give, and well, evil.

So be it.

So instead of reaching out to just anyone with friendly gesture, I will reserve it to those who are deserving of my energy and time. I don't want to be the initiator anymore, but reciprocator. Prove yourself worthy first, before I will let you into my inner circle reserved for deserving people.

I am going to prioritise things that are conducive to my health and well-being. So yea, the work can wait while I have my lunch first, and yea I will continue tomorrow or later as it's my scheduled exercise or recreation time now, thank you very much.

Had a soulmate once, at least I think I had. Too bad it's gone now. That would have been good for my soul. Someone to talk about just anything and everything, without pretence, without reserve. Someone who reciprocates the need to share.

Oh well, don't get too carried away now.

In short, I see this as a self upgrade for a better life, but to the others it probably means I am eviler than I already am.

*shrug*