Belated birthday gift for myself

Last year, I bought the, to date, most expensive birthday present for myself.

This year, I didn't plan on getting myself anything. My birthday wish was to have a daughter, and it's not something I want to have through purchase. -_-

I honestly didn't plan on getting myself any present, until today.

Today, by chance, I bumped into the UNICEF counter when I was getting lunch. I waved no when the person first approached me, don't stand in my way of getting my lunch, silly!

After I got my lunch, I went back and the same person approached me again. I entertained him this time. It fits the two conditions I set for myself regarding supporting charity: (1) human beings before animals before environment, (2) children before adults.

So I am game. Initially I thought it's a one off donation, I was taking out my wallet when he told me it's a monthly thing. I am no stranger to that since I have been doing that for years with MAKNA.

It took me one brainwave to decide to still go with it, justifying it as my birthday present for myself, and that we can always cut down the weekend dinner out on months when this is stretching the salary.

If I stay on the monthly donation, which I intent to, it will eventually be the most expensive present I bought myself. Regardless though, this is definitely the most meaningful present I bought myself. ^_^ feel good +2

Perhaps it's fitting in a balancing sense. Since for a while now, I am slowing changing to a, for a lack of better word, selfish person.

It's my resolution to care less, give less, and to put myself first, only reserving my energy and time to those who really deserve it. I know the world needs more love, I just no longer want to be the person who gives it first, I will, of course, reciprocate. I just don't want to be the selfless initiator anymore, I want to be the guarded one who only gives when the others have proven themselves deserving.

Give, give, give. I am just tired of it. Now I will take first before I give.

Selfish, if that's what this is. So be it.

This UNICEF donation will keep that good person deep inside happy, so that I can keep my selfish and evil front.