心的频道：给有忧郁症的人

你不孤单，因为其实，很多人有忧郁症的。我就是其中一个。

只是有些患者不知道自己有忧郁症，或不愿承认自己有忧郁症而已。

或许是因为忧郁症是种心理病，有些人不想要承认自己心理有问题，或不想被误为精神有问题吧？

我看过医生，我不算太严重，所以我选择不依靠药物。

当然我不是医生，所以我只能告诉你我个人应付忧郁症来袭的办法。

首先，要接受自己有忧郁症这个事实。固执的否认是无济于事的。接受了，愈疗才能开始。

也要接受我们是无法控制忧郁症的来袭的。当忧郁症来袭时，要学会接受自己病了。

心理病也不过是一种病，人都会患病，所以不是什么大不了的事。生病了，就等它痊愈咯。

我经历了好多好多次忧郁症的来袭，至今没有一次是没好过来的。是时间长短的不同而已。

我会做些什么呢？

我是内向的人。内向的人是自己产生能量，在与人交际时燃烧这些能量的。

当然内向的人并不代表不喜欢群体活动，只是忧郁时往往能量已经低了，要再交际互动会好累好累。

当自己无法开心起来，和无法保持开心时，我通常会选择间隔自己。因为我不想要自己的情绪影响到他人，那只会令我感觉更不好。

生病了当然不想要感染别人嘛。但是整天一个人也好孤单哦…

所以有一群不在乎你的沉默和能够接纳你在群体中却有如活在自我空间的朋友是很有帮助的。要有知道你病了，不想有太多的互动但又不想要一个人的朋友群。

忧郁时就多做点自己喜欢做的事，那些可以纾解自己，让自己放松或快乐的事。不能保持着那快乐没关系，病了嘛，会好的。

尽量远离会令自己更不好了的事。烦恼，压力，吵闹是我忧郁时尽量远离的。有必要我是会拿假间隔自己的，生病了要休息。

让我感觉好的事是睡觉啊、看书啊、玩电脑游戏啊等等，那些我可以一个人悠闲清静的做的事。

还有我是很喜欢拥抱的，拥抱的感觉舒服良好，所以当我感觉很不好时我会去拥抱老婆仔。

老婆仔也惯了，她不会问我怎么了，她就是让我那么的抱着。有时她也会相拥抱回我。不需言语，她明白的。

有位明白了解你的伴侣是超棒的。

心的频道 |系列|

Hello cave

Perhaps it's the voluntary separation package that triggered the deep contemplation, and that serious thinking that triggered the sense of mid-life crisis.

Perhaps it's the overwhelming unabated issues that simply piled up one after another, that sense of going in circle, the endlessness, the helplessness, the sense of inadequacy.

Perhaps it's all of that, and then some other, but when I couldn't even feel happy knowing the pregnancy of a dear friend, I know I am in depression.

*Sigh*

Here we go again.

Hello cave, been a while.

Lost chicken

I am not an ambitious person, really am not.

I just want a simple life where I earn enough to support the family without having to worry about every single expense.

If it's a work that I enjoy, then it's icing on the cake, else I would just grumble all the time. Not like that's new...

For the family, I will endure.

I don't have to be rich. I don't need a big car, designer stuff or expensive gadgets. I do like to have my own house to call home though.

But anyway, I just lost an opportunity to earn myself a sizeable sum of extra money because I am not bold enough, and I am not ready to seize opportunity like this when it arises.

If only I had a steady second income, a backup plan.

If only I wasn't the sole breadwinner, the single source of income for the family.

If only I wasn't that emotionally attached to my colleague friends.

If only I was more of a risk-taker, adventurer, one who embraces change, and less of a conservative coward.

Feel such sense of... lost now.

A missed opportunity that may not come again, a big catch that slipped away, because I am unprepared, and I am a chicken.

Weekend home gaming

Quite a while ago, I tried to get friends to have weekend tabletop gaming session, but after numerous failed attempts I gave up on this idea.

I changed tack to utilise the long lunch hours we get every Friday, and that seems to be working. I got my tabletop gaming fix this way.

Long lunch hours are not really that long though, so play time became an important factor in my decision to buy new tabletop games.

There are of course games that interest me that take long hours to play, I mostly shy away from those games since what's the point of getting a game that I can't get people to play with, right?

This is apparently not a concern for those who are lucky enough to be able to get enough people to play on weekend. Feel so jealous. 

Well, out of the blue, on the Friday before last weekend, I was contacted by some gaming friends asking if they could come to my house for gaming in the weekend.

Aprils Fools' prank?

It didn't happen anyway, because apparently ladies' hairdo took a ridiculously long time and that ruined the gaming plan. I was disappointed, but not too surprised by the outcome.

I was contacted again on Friday before this weekend, saying the same thing, minus the hairdo, and it actually happened! 0_o

So, the five of us played Power Grid yesterday, took us 3 to 3.5 hours, I couldn't really remember and by the end of the game didn't really care. =P

Power Grid is a game that I have seen the review online, and marked not interested in my own tabletop game list. The long play time is a main factor, and potential long down time playing with analysis paralysis players do not appeal to me.

And it involves mathematics, so it's surprising that it's a lady who isn't really that good in maths who bought the game.

Anyway, it started off well, fresh and fun. Pretty soon everyone was checking their money surreptitiously, counting and checking prices, scheming and planning. I started off handling the maths in my head, but by the end I, like everyone else, used calculator.

I honestly started to have headache nearing the end of the game. Most probably because I woke up early to go archery and it has been a crazy week with many a sleep-deprived weekdays.

By the end, it sure felt more like a strategic planning exercise involving maths than a game. >_<

Will I get the game? No when I first saw the review, definitely no now that I have played it.

Will I play it again? Yes, but when I am mentally prepared and when I got a good night's sleep, and definitely with a calculator.

有感而发：智者·愚人

二零一五年四月八日

今天难得晚餐时老婆仔坐了下来陪我聊天，喜。

平时工作天我都是独自吃晚餐的，有点悲。

老婆仔说住区管理将要投选新委员了，一群有私心的人开始拉票、造谣、毁谤等等耍那些投选期间的肮胀低贱手段。

她有点气愤，因为现任的委员蛮透明化和事事都有通告和交代，但造谣者却妖言惑众。

她说竟然有人相信那些谣言。

我说了一句我常说的话：

“不要低估人类的愚蠢。”

她仍是忿忿不平。

我又说：

“我是相信谣言止于智者的。问题是智者是少数，愚者却有很多很多。”

我们又谈了一会，说愚者的一些特征：

他们是不会去鉴证真伪的，别人讲他们就信了。

他们是有奴性的，盲目跟从第一个影响他们的人。要再换一个见解太伤他们的脑筋了啦！

他们会选择相信那些贬低他人的谣言，多过相信好人好事。我想应该是因为他们用自己的尺度来衡量别人，又或许是把别人拉下到他们的水准或比他们更低的话，他们的自我感觉才良好吧？

唉，真是人性的丑恶啊…

有感而发 |系列|

What I learned from watching Running Man

Usually watching Running Man is just a form of entertainment, a good laugh, a stress relief.

But once in a while, I get to learn something, like this...

No special trick required, just the right amount of liquid in the can for balancing.

Go try it out! ^_^

Random behaviour for April 2015

Honestly do not know how well or how bad I did for my March impromptu resolution so I am not going to grade myself.

Perhaps the others can grade me but heh, good luck of that happening.

One somewhat relevant incident worth mentioning is that during an encounter in the office aisle, a colleague asked why I was smiling, to which I didn't know how to answer. Isn't smiling and being happy a good thing?

Anyway, for April 2015, my impromptu resolution is: whenever I am out for lunch having not-so-economical rice, I am to get more vegetable compared to meat.

Because I can.