I, Pastor

Warning: this entry contains a mixture of English, Mandarin, Hokkien, Cantonese, Malay, Manglish, and probably some other languages or terms I simply made up.

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Received an e-mail today about wedding plan for a friend, most likely just a joke since according to the plan, I am requested by the bride-to-be to be their pastor.

Mua? Pastor? 0_o

Fine, ask and thou shall receive! (Can ah? Sounds like real pastor or not?)

But since I am not a Christian or have the authority to perform solemnisation of matrimony, what you receive may not be what you asked for. =P

After I think think a bit, this is likely what I am going to say...

- to address the audience and get things started when couple arrived, or when the bride-to-be's father handed over the daughter, depends on what the couple have in mind:

"Oi, sit down and diam lar! I talk now you all listen. Be good or else I shoot anyone who makes noise."

Think I should cock the shotgun at this point but will check what the bride-to-be thinks, maybe she wants to do it herself. I am flexible. *shrug*

- after everyone have behaved themselves:

"Okay, so hor, we all here because kena red bomb, sipeh boh huat. Since I so veli the nice I no make you suffer more, I skip all the rubbish talk about love and relationship that nobody listens to anyway and go straight to the point. Sui boh? Well, if you don’t like this you can leave, if you beh siok and make noise I shoot you."

- after all the cheering or booing and any necessary shooting, I will look at the groom and ask:

"So, you lub her (point to the bride)? If you say no I shoot you."

- depending on whether I have to shoot the groom, if yes, end of story. If not, look at the bride and ask:

"So, you lub him (point to the groom)? If you say no I can sao gong go home now."

- depending on whether I can go home liao or not, if yes, end of story. If not, continue lor:

"Okay, rings leh? Quick quick give each other, everyone waiting to see the kiss and for the food nia. But hor, don’t kan jiong until cannot put on lar, waste even more time like that."

- after the wedding band exchange:

"Okay, now hor, anyone wants to object ah, wants to do runaway bride or groom ah, wants to come and grab the en tao ba or siao cha bo ah, quick quick do now before I go next step. Don't worry I won't shoot anyone for doing any of the above. But hor, no guarantee what the bride will do lar."

- depending on what happen then, maybe end of story. If not, continue lor:

"Okay, finally reach this part, sui! Always wanted to say this. By the power and authority I saja say I have, I pronounce you ang and bo! You may kiss the bride. Oi audience, clap hands and cheer lar, else I shoot you!"

- after all the hoo-ha and any necessary shooting:

"Bride and groom now go make babies. Don't play play one! The rest, kia jiak!"

I think this is going to be one memorable solemnisation, if I say so myself. =P

NOoooOOOooOo!!!

So close! Argh~~~!!!

>_<

Datuk Lee, I have no nail left after watching the match. Good thing I don't have heart disease.

I like your between the legs save, but that continuous 5 point lost in the second match was veli the frustrating.

*Sigh*

=(

Oh well. Am still proud of you Chong Wei, go Penangite! =)

And damn you Lin Dan! =P

It's 2011 Badminton World Championships final for men's single I am talking about, in case you really don't know.

Looking for...

Looking for 3 to 5 card and/or board game enthusiasts, who can spare at least 2 dedicated* hours solely for card or board gaming on a regular basis.

Must be geeky enough to love this genre of gaming, have sense of humour, not taking things too seriously, and mature enough to enjoy and have fun playing whether win or lose.

So, any takers?

* meaning those who while physically there but spend most or all the time on their mobile phone need not apply. Seriously, why bother to meet up if all you want to do is to play with your mobile phone alone?

Liberated

I spent all my time at work today at my cubicle, did not enter the dungeon at all.

Despite requests from various colleagues, mostly reasonable and polite with just a few annoying and demanding ones, despite the new jobs and responsibilities boss is piling on me during the meeting with him, I left office before five, and had enough time to help my elder son build his new LEGO set as well as to play ball with both my kids before they went to bed.

Feel so... liberated.

Guess I just don't care anymore until I have a break.

Meltdown

Actually, there is no specific reason I titled this entry as "Meltdown", it's just the first thing that popped into my mind when I started writing.

Anyway, I am home before 20:00 hours today! On a working day, what an achievement!

It feels like ages ago that I arrived home before the kids had gone to bed. Finally able to interact with them and kiss them goodnight on a weekday. They were crying and shouting when I got home though, typical.

So nice to be able to watch the 8 o-clock news. Riot in England? Bloody hell! Was just about to send my brother an e-mail when I noticed that he already sent an e-mail announcing they are alright over there. Yea, I haven't been checking my personal e-mail account for a few days now.

So nice to leave the office before the main door is locked. Moved office recently and the main door to this building is locked at 20:00 hours. For quite a number of days so far, I had to walk all the way to the adjacent building where my old office used to be to exit, as that door is open 24/7.

Initially wanted to go to badminton today, since exercise is such a good way to relieve all the pent up stress. I got out of the dungeon around 17:45 hours (record!), though by the time I settled stuff in my cubicle, it's already 18:30 hours so I came home straight instead. =\

I am burning out and I could really use a break.

Monopoly Deal

A visit from a friend in the afternoon to borrow tripod prompted an impromptu gathering of old friends later at night.

On impulse I brought along my Monopoly Deal card that I bought a few weeks ago but never got a chance to play.

image source

Turned out to be a rather fun game, easy to learn, relatively fast to play, probably at most half an hour depending on the number of players. The winner is the first player to collect three full property sets of different colour.

There are ten property sets with various wildcards to fill in. There are also action cards to steal property, force swap property, demand money as rent or birthday present, et cetera.

The game requires a bit of luck, some strategy and planning. Being ruthless helps too. =P

I am going to list a few things we didn't realised since it's the first time for everyone. I just found out after going through the rules carefully after the gathering. I hope my friends read this before we next meet and play again. ^_^

- "Just Say No" can be used to cancel another "Just Say No" card

- can only have one house and one hotel on any full property set

- can only add a hotel after you have added a house

- can swap Property Wildcards around among different sets on your turn

- related to the above, if you acquire the property you need, you can replace the Wildcard and reuse it elsewhere

Can't wait till the next game! =)

If I say...

If I say that I have an iPhone now, what would you say?

These are a few reactions you can choose from if you do not feel like writing your own. Feel free to choose more than one. =)

(a) Yea right!

(b) Caveman has gone to the "dark" side!

(c) Is this a trick question?

(d) Really? Where you got it from?

(e) lu mai hao siao lar!

(f) If it's true, I cut my ____!!

(g) You won it one is it?

(h) Some generous and kind person gave it to you?

(i) You wife bought one is it?

(j) Are you sick?

(k) You work too much until crazy liao is it?

Those who need a bit of background can check out here, here, and here.

Come on, tell me what your reaction is. ^_^