Fall Guy.inc

A fall guy is a person who takes the blame or being punished on something he or she did not do, in other words, the scapegoat.

Despite me being decent, considerate and generally nice to my colleagues (I think I hear the sound of vomiting...), I find myself being used as the fall guy way too often. So often that nowadays most colleagues will automatically associate me with any pranks, jokes or nasty stuff that happened in the office.

"Who wrapped that cubicle in newspaper?"

"CK lor"

"Who sent that prank-mail?"

"CK lor"

"Who's fault was it?"

"CK lor"

"Who wrapped CK's car in newspaper?"

"CK lor"

...

And you know what? People actually believe it's real.

Why oh why? >_<

Me is so veli the innocent!

Oh well, since I can't change how my colleagues perceived me, misguided as it is, I may as well make the most of the situation.

So I am annoucing Fall Guy.inc, my scapegoat service. I will take the fall for you for a reasonable, pre-arranged, highly negotiable price!

The cost of my service will vary according to the magnitude of the fall you want me to take on your behalf and the size and significance of the target audience of your wrong-doing. Cash only service and payment to be made before service is rendered.

I provide customised response to fit your specific need, from a simple "yes, it's all my fault" to elaborate make believe story of the highest quality.*

Satisfactory guaranteed or your money back!**

Do note that as I have started this service, any use of me as a scapegoat without prior agreement will automatically authorise me to charge whatever payment I deemed fit. Consider yourself warned.

* premium service incurs premium charge

** only 60% will be returned as 40% of the agreed upon payment will be charged for trying

Seriously, stop associating me with all the pranks and jokes ler, I veli the nice one!