State of Mind

Happiness, like sadness, is a state of mind.

There is nothing wrong being sad, for it's through sadness we appreciate happiness. Prolonged sadness though, is not a healthy state to dwell on.

I know, because I have been depressed for a long period of time. During which sparks of happiness were short-lived, never sustained, and I stayed in my cave wasting away my life.

Depression is a psychological illness, so in other words I was mentally imbalanced, a psycho. I never denied I am a little crazy, ever read what I wrote on my office white board? =P

There came a point when I didn't want to be depressed no more. I really, really wanted to be normal again. After all, there are only so many years I will live, I don't want to waste them in sadness.

I didn't really know what to do to be happy, so I told myself to stop being depressed. It's an inner battle of telling myself repeatedly that I want to be normal again.

Saying is always easier than actually doing it, however I also know that we won't get anywhere if we do nothing. First step is always the hardest, persist and it becomes a habit.

Smile, for I believe the physical affects the mental and vice versa. By making myself smile, I hope to lead my mind into happiness. Nothing to lose trying, since smiling makes one look better anyway.

It took time, and I still suffer bouts of depression every now and then, but that's okay, it's normal. Although a teeny-weeny insane, I am generally happy nowadays, because I chose to be.

Happiness is a choice.

Happy Birthday, Brother

Here's wishing you much happiness that will increase many-fold with the coming of your bundle of joy!

Happy last birthday before parenthood!

p/s: sleep now while you can =P

My Colleagues

My colleagues come in various shapes and sizes, different personalities and behaviours, there are...

...those who do all the grunt works but say very little

...those who don't do much or at all but speak a lot and loudly

...those who are in love with their own voice, who will speak up given half the chance, no matter if it's relevant or not

...those who really know their stuff and command respect when they speak

...those who pretend that they know their stuff which ended up sounding mildly amusing or outright foolish

...those who suffer role ambiguity (self confusion really) and act as if they are managers instead of just mere engineers

...those who you can rely on to brighten your day

...those who you avoid as much as possible

...those who are good to bounce ideas with

...those who are only good if you feel like banging your head on a brick wall

...those who you laugh with

...those who you get laughed at

...those who you bring out of work life

...those who you limit strictly to work life only

...those who write, read, AND leave comments on blog

...those who read but not bothered to leave comments on blog

...those who don't read (anything)

...those who say the data is testiclely significant instead of statistically significant (data has balls too, I guess...)

While I might only be thinking of a certain colleague when I wrote a sentence, I used "they" to avoid specifying the gender.

Happy BCYD!

To those who believe in, and celebrate Businessmen-Con-You-Day Valentine's Day, here's wishing you am amorous and romantic day!

My personal view hasn't changed, so I won't repeat what I said, the article I linked to in the comment of that post is a great read.

Today, I...

...woke up tired (His Royal Highness King Baby Hsiang woke up crying in the middle of the night)

...couldn't finish my breakfast (it's too spicy!)

...went around bugging colleagues to do their jobs (me no likey! Am not integrator)

...pretended as if I knew what I was doing and sorted out a friend's IT query by sheer dumb luck (trial and error is the way to go!)

...tidied up my drawers and filed the documents accordingly (geez, I have a lot of junks)

...witnessed the two colleagues who had gone to the pink side "at it" again, sitting side by side, singing the YMCA song, and more (My eyes! My eyes!)

...found another avid reader to share the joys of reading (yippie!)

...spent some quality time with my baby (he actually sat beside me and watched the whole episode of Thomas and Friends without fidgeting, record!)

...am happy.

Reading is Good (Feb 09)

If my memory served me right, which is not saying much really there are only two novels that I started reading but never got to the end.

The Silmarillion by JRR Tolkien (edited by his son Christopher Tolkien) was the first, it's just too deep and heavy. I am shallow and light I guess.

The Babes in the Wood by Ruth Rendell was the second, this I gave up because I read for leisure, and this novel is anything but leisure for me. The writing style, the storyline and pace were simply not my cup of tea. Too bad, I didn't get to see any babes.

I almost gave up on Dead Man Riding by Gillian Linscott too.

image source

Almost, but didn't, and I am mightily glad I persisted.

What started out (to me) as an artsy-fartsy outing of a group of Oxford students with too much flowery and linguistic stuff thrown in by the author was quickly turning me off. I am a simple man of average English standard, I like simple and easy to read stuff.

But it got excited before I quit, so I read on, and got hooked by the twists and plots the author weaved for what essentially is a murder investigation.

Big thumbs up for the misdirections the author masterfully constructed, I usually know the real killer for murder investigation stories but this one got me completely off balance.

Perhaps a normal person like me would never have guessed, due to the normal way of life and preference, I wonder if those special friends and colleagues of mine would have guessed the real killer?

The whole storyline is intriguing but just for the big twist at the end that surprised me, I am rating this as a fantastic read.

Quotes from the novel:

"You didn't say yes. You just stopped saying no."

"Either something had happened or it hadn't. If it had happened, then happenings leave evidence. They wouldn't be happenings otherwise. And if there's evidence, it's simply a question of finding it or not finding it."

Currently reading: Dragon Ball comics! 42 books for the series, probably won't be a book review for a while. =P

Home Alone

While I do enjoy the peace and quiet, reading without being disturbed, gaming with volumn on full blast, the total freedom...

... it does get a bit lonely being home alone.

Eating by myself sure is el sucko big timeo.

Maybe I should do something crazy, like walk around naked.