心的频道：不缺

不富裕，但生活不缺。只要节约，过得还可以。

我不是追求物质享受的人，实用就好。庆幸情人老婆仔也不是奢侈的人。

当然钱不嫌多，毕竟实际现状就是退休金养不起情人老婆仔和我两人，也没有本事让孩子们出国深造。是很可悲的情况，烦恼又无奈。

所以我不缺烦恼，已经常常昼夜难眠，请不必再为我增添烦恼。需要的是能帮我减少烦恼的贵人。

我要的是简单朴素、悠闲清静的生活。但生活总是不简单，唉…

心的频道 |系列|

Potato mode on!

Annual leave reaching maximum allowable limit so taking tomorrow off to not lose any hard-earned leave.

Next Monday is Labour Day and next Thursday is Wesak day, both public holidays that my company observed. So I am taking next Tuesday and Wednesday off as well to get myself a seven days break.

I already know I have to work tomorrow, even though I am on leave, still have three tasks to complete before I can really be off.

And I am sending the car to service and going to sort out some life insurance stuff as well, so don't think I will be getting much rest and relax tomorrow...

But still, it's going to be a seven days break, well, maybe six. Hopefully not any less and I can control myself to not work overtime. Less motivated to work overtime lately, the pay cut is a big damper.

So, potato mode is on, don't contact me for any work related stuff, and unless you are really close to me, don't ask me out because I really just want to stay in and chill.

Other |hyped up heads up| category entries.

空头支票

这世上，就是有空口讲白话的人。讲就天下无敌，什么都可以、什么都行，事实却是只能做个废。

我不能理喻为什么这些人能够这么没良心的睁眼讲谎话，开他们不能兑现的空头支票？

这些人的诚信、良知、灵魂在哪？内心真的可以这么黑暗、空洞、腐烂的吗？

为什么我这烂命这么不幸总会碰到这样的人？

说一个月内会归还的金额，借出去七年了，假如每个月都还一点点也早还清了… 真的，心已死。买了个很贵的教训，也看清了人性。

给钱买服务，答应的和提供的骗很大。是物质上不对标的劣品或差劲服务也就算了，但买的是无助老人的照顾，人命关天啊！怎么能够那么敷衍了事？怎么能够一提再提的重要检测做都不做，甚至都不知道怎么做还一口答应？

怎么能够药物给错份量啊？会死人的啊！

人类，就是可以这么虚伪、无良、恐怖。

我反社会、反社交就是因为碰上太多这样的人。

人类，累人。

心语细述 |系列|

Need some voodoo

Didn't slept well yesterday, no thanks to a certain religion that has to force their prayers down everyone's throat. But of course we cannot say anything about it because, well, religion stuff is always touchy and sensitive, especially in Bolehland, where it's religiously used for political agenda and personal gain.

I am more of a silent prayer type. To me whatever between me and divine forces is just that, between me and the divine beings, it's private, it's in the heart, it's in my actions, and definitely not something I broadcast out loud and force on everyone within 3km radius.

After all, to me the divine teaching should be for us to be a better person, to be considerate, and definitely not to force onto others what they do not want, or to disturb others' peace and quiet, resting and sleeping time. Not sure why it has to be broadcasted out, actually, not sure why it has to be broadcasted at all, just keep it within the building where the faithful gathered for prayers would have been an elegant and respectful way of doing it. Oh well.

Anyway, while I was bombarded with loud prayers at some ungodly hours, making sleep impossible especially for a light sleeper like me, I was thinking of ways to get my peace and quiet resting time.

The immediate thought that came to my mind when I was rudely disturbed in my sleep was to blast the speakers to hell. If only I had some magical power that can destroy those speakers with merely my thought. Poof! Return the night to peace with a single thought.

Since unfortunately the prayers did not stop, and the dogs howled along as they always do, my then woken mind started thinking. If I had magical power, while breaking the speakers would definitely satisfied my vengeance, it would not solve the problem, I could do better with my magical power...

So I was thinking if I had magical power, I would make it so that only the people of that religion can hear the broadcasted prayers. That would be a win-win situation, those of the religion are the ones who wanted the prayers broadcasted, those not of the religion would rather not be disturbed. So as long as I could cast a spell and make those who don't want to be disturbed by the prayers not to hear it, and only those who want to can hear it, then everybody win!

Too bad I don't have magical power, and while I believe this can actually be done using science and technology, for example with implant into auditory system of the people of that religion so only they can hear the prayers, the prayers being broadcasted in digital signal instead of acoustic wave, there are human rights and all that, but first and foremost is that religion actually buys in into the whole thing about not wanting to disturb others, because if not, all is moot.

So, still it goes back to if only I had magical power, then those who want loud noise would get loud noise, those who don't would get their peace and quiet, my spell would respect your choice.

Other |nutty nuts| category entries.

Migraine

A few days now, nearing the evening, I would start to have this headache on the left side of my head.

The left eyeball will ache as well, and the headache can be disabling, rendering me useless for nothing more than a zombie on the bed.

Don't know if it's migraine or whatever the medical term for it, just really bad headache.

Overworked, no doubt.

The company decided to enforce the special Raya holiday the prime minister gave us, making it a five days long weekend.

Only I will have to call in to meetings tomorrow, work still despite being a holiday. Ya, so much for the special holiday...

Other |sane side| category entries.

够了

好吧，既然做了那么多的模拟，模拟预估的成绩我觉得符合逻辑，但客户就是不接受，那我也没有继续浪费时间的必要。

既然那么轻易的就拒绝了我的所有方案，现在就等客户你提供一个你可以相信的模型，那你认为只能解少了我的方案一大截的散热能力的模型吧。不要只是会用讲的，来点数据分享为何应该是你说的那么保守、那么差劲的散热能力。

我过后才用你提供的模型来优化和提升那散热能力，那样应该没有理由怀疑模型有问题了吧？

亏我加时工作了那么多天，浪费了我的好几个周末，真是徒劳无功。

唉，偏偏这个项目又是遇到这种类型的客户，第二次了，又将会是一个累人、纳闷、气愤和无奈的项目…

被上一个跟这客户公司做的项目蒙了眼，果然同一间公司里不同的团队始终还是不同的。一起做上个项目的客户团队可好工作多了，勇于接受新方案，敢创新和挑战底线，结果我们就一起做到了像模拟预估的、大大提升的散热能力。双赢的合作和成果。

这次的客户团队，唉… 真的很希望只是个不好的开始，过后会变好的。

自己讲了都不信。

随兴随想 |系列|

逆行

做了几个项目后多多少少也学了些东西，累计了些经验，对热流设计也比较有信心。

一代要比一代好，新的项目要比以往的更优异、更厉害。用累积的经验和知识，加上点创新和优化，把新的项目做得比以前的好，那就是我对工作的态度。

所以接了个新的项目一开始，在现有的资料和讯息的范围内，我就把散热的部分做到我可以设计得的最好。经验告诉我，客户肯定有很多的更改，我会重复又重复的设计和优化客户一些对散热不友好的条件。我会忙得要加班，都是因为客户（和自家老板）不断的改变想法和项目方向，唉…

用风扇解热的设计，系统内风流量的提升和优化对散热能力是息息相关的。前提是，不是单纯的提高风流量，而是有利的风流量，真的对散热有帮助的风流量。

优化后的设计风流量整体提升了，那是好事，至少我是这样想。但客户有自己的经验值，觉得应该在以往设计的风流量的经验值才是可信的。

在还没有实物测试的阶段，我只有模拟的数据。我不相信我的模拟做错了，所以为了说服客户，我唯有把自己优化后的设计搞砸，把它弄糟糕，让风流量因为不佳的设计下跌到客户的经验值。

其实这搞砸的过程已经证实了我的模拟没有毛病，因为很逻辑的把设计弄差后风流量就相对的变差了。如果模拟有问题，那模拟结果就不会根据这逻辑了。

要以往的风流量经验值，又要提升的散热能力，是不是有点互相矛盾呢？要提升散热能力，就要优化设计，提升有利的风流量嘛，不然要靠魔法吗？

客户总是对的，所以我在搞砸我的设计，把风流量弄差，相对的散热能力也变差了。这是物理，没有魔法。

等说服客户后才把一开始就设计好的优化方案提出来吧，或许还需要慢慢撤销搞砸过程的步骤，一点一点的从新导入。真是的，就非要走这样的冤枉路吗？

随兴随想 |系列|

办公室一游

昨天，可以跑热流模型的强力电脑几经波折后终于运送到了。

为了接收这电脑去了“旧”办公室一趟，因为部门把这些 24/7 都在工作的电脑都放在那办公室，而不是放在暂时的“新”办公室。

一共三台电脑。原本另两位同事说好一起到公司各自处理自己的电脑的，但最后三台电脑都是由我一手包办：接收，运送到 IT，申请走那公司需要通过的流程，通知经理拿批准，事后通知同事们已办妥。

果然还是最靠得住自己。午餐前我就完事离开了。

要记的事是原本说好要碰面的同事朋友只见了一位，但意外的碰到了两位没想到会遇见的。都是短短的“嗨掰”那种碰面。

还有就是回到多年前刚加入公司时的第一个办公楼，和那样的办公室，有那熟悉的亲切感。

随兴随想 |系列|

有感而发：活在当下

我是喜欢有规划的生活，不喜欢临时的决定、突发的改变那样的事。

对我来说那些是意外，既是意料之外的事。意外，在我的潜意识里，通常都是不好的。

但是，人生无常，变幻莫测，太多的事情是我们无法预测和控制的。

尽管如此，还是要好好策划人生，做些防范措施，有准备总是会好过没有准备吧？

当然我不是神仙，也没有预知能力，所以还是会有准备不了的意外。要过简单的生活，还真的一点都不简单。

今天同事朋友的父亲过世了，让我深思了一会。六个月内至少我还记得的，在乎的朋友群中，就有六位父亲或母亲过世的了…

然后浮现在我脑里的，就是我应该要好好的活在当下。

活在当下。就是那么突然浮现的想法。是不是潜意识里自己没有好好的过活，还是就是整天忧虑我的经济状况、孩子们的未来、情人老婆仔和我退休后的晚年等等的，没有享受人生？

我还真的感到困扰… 我的潜意识是要我怎么做？

有感而发 |系列|

该有的态度

儿子，梦想不是靠讲就能实现的。

这世上当然有幸运无比的人，靠好运或横运实现梦想的人。那是成功，还就只是命运，是可以争执的问题。

但运气不是我们能够掌控的东西，所以最实际达到梦想、达到成功的方法就是有规律的、按部就班的、努力有恒心的一步一步去实践。

不要想走捷径、不要一点挫折就放弃。成功不是给走了几步就抱怨、碰到阻力就放弃的人的。

你可以犯错，但不要重复的犯同样的错。要懂得检讨反省，找出问题的根源修正，把错误变成有用的经验，增强自己。

不要一错再错、不要固执任性、不要骄傲自大。虚心向学，谦虚求教。向比自己厉害、有经验的人请教一点都不可耻，可耻的是自己差都还不求进，还自以为是很了不起。

修炼自律，你就会一生受惠。强大的自律，是成功不可缺的重要因素。

时间是你的兑换筹码。时间很公平，每个人一天都只有二十四小时。你要变成怎样的人，就看你怎么运用你的时间。所以时间的策划和管理是成功不可缺的工具和能力。

调整你的心态，态度对了，实践就会顺利很多。

你要喜欢上自己努力实现梦想的样子。

心语细述 |系列|

Stress and disappointment

I wouldn't have believed that just one insolent child can totally destroy a home.

Just one self-centred, arrogant and impudent child is enough to wreak havoc and tear the family apart. Making it unpleasant and downright stressful to be under the same roof.

How can someone be so delusional and immature? Why is there such irresponsible and conceited person who can justify his wrongdoing without guilt or remorse?

Why would someone choose to be bad when he is fully capable of being good? Why someone can be so self-obsessed and so lack of self-controlled?

I am at my wits end, I cannot help someone who doesn't want to be helped and who is so arrogant, believing himself to be right when he is so very wrong.

I am so sorry, I have failed as a parent. I am so sorry for adding to society's problem.

Other |sane side| category entries.