Slacker moves

Slacker extraordinaire (me), while slacking is the norm, cares about his health too.

It's a dangerous world out there, there is the Coronavirus and also the many fools who are on the virus side (traitors!). For example, those who gather around the pool chatting, without mask. Ya, those...

But for the sake of my health, I gotta brave these nasty and horrible elements, and forced myself to have regular exercise outside. The strength training I do in house feels a bit... insufficient.

Can't say I am a runner, even though there was that brief stint in primary school when I was in the 4x100 metres relay school team, which really is a sprint instead of a run, I don't particularly like running.

Prefer brisk walk to running, feel that it's less damaging, a healthier choice of the two.

Anyway, started to go out to have brisk walk within the compound of my condominium after work. When time and energy permit, that is. If I have to do overtime or when I am too drained then the walk doesn't happen.

I am not enforcing any frequency, since I don't want this to become a source of stress. I do try my best to have several walks every week. Currently doing three rounds around the compound per walk, taking a few minutes shy of 30.

The brisk walk duration suits me fine for now, enough to get my heartbeat up and about the limit of my anxiety level being out in the open without a mask (tried with mask, but found breathing hard). Them maskless fools gathering around the compound chatting do not help my anxiety level.

Stay safe and healthy, everyone.

Other |flickering fling| category entries.

Munchkin!

For some reason he himself could not explain (or simply would not tell me), my elder son went and bought a card game. Nothing wrong with that, I am a gamer and I like tabletop game, only he bought a Japanese language card game when he doesn't know the language.

So he spent hours searching online for translation of all the cards, took the time to note down everything. Wish he could have the same devotion to his study...

Anyway, so he roped his brother into playing with him, only it didn't went well since they both had to refer to his notes for every single card.

Seeing the frustration and pretty much complete absence of enjoyment (which is the whole point of playing game!), I suggested that they try another card game I have: Munchkin.

I last wrote about Munchkin in 2012, when I bought the eighth expansion. Munchkin holds a special place in my heart as it is the first tabletop game I bought after I started working, and it's the first game I introduced to, and played with, my colleague friends.

Many fond memories of those good old times.

Anyway, the kids like Munchkin. Given their usual 'five minutes passion', not sure how long this will last but they are really into it for the time being.

It's a minimum three players game so I got roped in as well, and when wifey finally joined us yesterday night, it became a family bonding activity these few days. ^_^

The wicked sense of humour, the play on words, all those Munchkinly stuff, I likey! =P

Other |geeky gaming| category entries.

看不惯自己

去年三月行动管制令开始至今，几乎都没有剃光胡子过。

可能有一两次吧？还真的不太记得了。（金鱼记忆，嘢！）

上星期忘了那一天很随性的剃个清光，今天再一次。

应该是看惯了十五个月有胡子的自己，这两次剃光后看镜子里的自己觉得很陌生，怪怪的。

还是觉得自己有胡子比较 man ，也可能就是喜欢那颓废的样子啦，呵呵！

随兴随想 |系列|

有感而发：感慨

二零二一年六月二十一日。

人生本来就很多事是徒劳无功的。

真的。

唉…

为什么要活得这么累？

有感而发 |系列|

心的频道：自信·自恋

初稿于二零一九年二月十九日。

自信是言行举止间自然散发流露，别人自然而然感受得到的气质。

自恋是精挑细选后刻意局部呈现，引别人留意来得到赞美的心态。

自信不需要别人的肯定，却又是别人自然就会察觉留意到的。

自恋很刻意引导别人的注意，来满足自我感觉良好的欲念。

有些人说够自信才能自恋。

究竟那是自信呢，还是自大和无耻的自我膨胀？

心的频道 |系列|

Endless permutation

While I like casual writing, I am not fond of writing technical stuff. That's work, not leisure, nor fun.

However, invention disclosure for chance of getting patent means inevitably I have to do technical write-up, and go through the review process.

Can't quite decide if reviewing is worse or better than the writing part. Not fond of that either.

Like having patents though, to me they are worthy life achievements. So I have to bear with the technical write-ups and the reviews.

Anyway, when the invention disclosure is successful and the company decided to file patent, the legal document is much worse. Good grief, much much worse.

Technical document is to me, still "normal" language that human being with some relevant knowledge can read through and understand. The legal filing of the invention is to me, an endless permutation of the invention idea and concept that tries its best to shut down my brain.

The legal patent filing write-up repeats a same thing twenty times over, with weird choice of word that it's not "normal" language. Good grief, reviewing it takes a lot of grit and perseverance.

Gotta do it though, for the patent. Doesn't mean I like it. Not one bit.

Other |temperamental thoughts| category entries.

Fake to real

Back to work after five days long weekend. Monday was a public holiday, I took two additional days with my annual leave since I am approaching the maximum allowable leave accumulation.

And of course the first thing I did when I woke up everyday during that five days was to work. Ya, sad but true.

Ranging from slightly less than 1.5 hours to close to 2.5 hours, with an average over five days of 1 hour and 45 minutes per day.

Pretty much already lunch time by the time I finished work, so basically my five days long weekend was really just a half day leave on top of the normal weekend. Fun-testicle...

Anyway, so I am back to work today, with meetings back to back till lunch, some impromptu.

After a meeting where I was given many tasks, a colleague sent me an instant message, welcoming me back to the real life of endless work and tight deadlines. Ya, misery likes company, I totally understand. =P

My only question is, does that mean I have been living a fake life when I was on leave?

Other |temperamental thoughts| category entries.

十五年

五月尾就开始想你了，小天使
因为爸爸现在糟透了
有些想法会让我提前见到你
只是爸爸太懦弱了…

十五年了…
也许，你在天堂反而是幸福的
因为这家实在是一塌糊涂
唉…

一再的被逼到极限
爸爸太累了
想放弃了
没什么可眷恋的了

不知道几时才会和你重逢
看爸爸是不是能够勇敢一次吧…
乖乖了，我的小天使
等我

心语细述 |系列|

Untitled

Other |gross graffiti| category entries.

Hello cave

Hello cave, can't say I am surprised given the things I have been through lately.

All those stresses, disappointments, grieves and discontents building up, accumulating, compounding, with no relief despite my repeated mention of distress, my plea for changes. It's just a matter of time.

It's strange to admit this, but this time, I am kind of glad.

The isolation, the solitude, the low energy level, the lethargy, the listlessness, the numbing... Some how, they feel "right". Feeling less is a kind of self-preservation.

Of course I have those dark thoughts of ending it, of how I would do it. Wondering what it would feel like jumping off, whether I would regret while falling. Yea, those thoughts.

Not the first time, but still too coward to do it.

Thought about whether there is anything still worth holding on for, and could think of nothing. Wonder too what would be in my obituary, and whether there would be regret of never caring what I said, never taken my words seriously. Well, never caring really. But then I realised it doesn't matter, all that would be beyond me. I would simply cease to be and nothing matters anymore.

I know, predominantly dark and negative thoughts, the pessimistic perspective, all that. I know, I am no stranger to depression.

This time, I sort of welcome it. So hello cave, is this... it?

Other |temperamental thoughts| category entries.

黯淡沉默

心委屈久了，所以累了。

心疲惫了，所以黯淡了、冷却了。

所以沉默了。

自我保护的围墙出现了，隔绝失望和伤害。

让枯萎的心喘息。

一再重复的情节事故，何苦呢？

或许，我就应该是独处的。

心语细述 |系列|