31 August 2019

View spike


I like to record stuff, number of view of this blog is one of them.

When I record the view count this morning, I did a double take.

There is a sudden spike in the number of view in the last 24 hours, which is strange since I haven't been posting any link to my blog on Facebook lately.

What got me mightily curious is the magnitude of the spike, it's not within the normal range, say, compared to when I do post on Facebook.

So I went and checked the statistics as provided by Blogger, and it seems like the spike in view count is primarily from the land Down Under.

Hmm...

I do have family members there but don't think they read my blog. Even if they do the view count is still way too high, it's like going through more than a year's worth of blog entries in a single day.

If it's a bot then usually I get some spam comments with links.

Really curious.



Other |temperamental thoughts| category entries.


29 August 2019

Still holding


Many years ago, a young lady let me hold her hand.

And interlocked her fingers with mine.

Our lives are thus entwined.


Many years later, still holding.

Still loving.

May there be many more years to come.



Other |sane side| category entries.



25 August 2019

心的频道:真实


我知道,最近的文章都比较悲观,消沉、负能量满满的。

要明白,这部落格不是为了取悦他人的。

这部落格不是为了观数流量、赚广告费什么的。

这部落格根本没有广告。

也没有只为了吸引人,跟文章没关系的图片。

这部落格鲜少有图片,因为比起画面,我是比较偏于「文字」的人。


这部落格是我的日记,记录我的生活,那些我觉得重要的事与物。

人生很多点点滴滴值得记下来,记忆力不好的我,用文字把那些瞬间凝固。

以便往后我可以回顾人生、重温过去。

那就是这部落格的主要目的。


如果可以让有心去阅读的他人有所领悟或收获什么的,那我觉得何乐不为呢?

毕竟,从他人的经历学习,是比较精明的经验累积。

不必事事都要自生经历才体会领悟的,尤其是失误的冤枉路。


我的人生不是都是彩虹和晴天的。

我是有忧郁症的人,有低落和负面情绪的日子很正常。

负能量是要面对和应付的,不是避忌或绝口不提的。

阴天、雨天也有它们的美,它们的意义。

没有雨天就不会有雨过天晴的那心境、那感慨、那喜悦。


今年八月至今我过得不是很快乐,我低落消沉。

所以我真诚坦白的如实记录。

就是如此而已。



心的频道 |系列


24 August 2019

八月至今


很快,八月就要过去了。

整个八月至今,能记得的好事就那么一宗。

其它的就只有叹息…

说真的,我不是很肯定自己是不是在忧郁症中。

不太像,但又有些相似的症状。


八月至今,是很多的无奈。

事事不如意。

就是安分守己也会飞来横祸。

萦绕着晦气、阴气。

死气沉沉。


累,身和心。

尤其是心,没有了动力。

仿佛迷失了方向。

每天在忙,但不知道自己为何要这么忙,为了什么?

总会觉得生活没什么意义。


我只有,无奈的叹息。



随兴随想 |系列|


19 August 2019

Low batt.


Low battery. Lack of energy.

Drained. More mentally than physically.

Demotivated. Lost of drive.

Smouldered. Burn-out.

A teeny-weeny sense of lost. Feeling bleak.

Tired. Just tired.



Other |temperamental thoughts| category entries.


16 August 2019

Ten months and a bang!


Slightly more than ten months ago I fulfilled one of my life's dreams.

Probably the only one out of the three that I can, the other two will most likely follow me to my grave.

*Sigh*...

Sad but true.


Anyway, that's not the topic of this entry.

You know, when we drive we are to be alert of the surrounding, be aware of what's in our peripheral vision, all that.

So we can minimise the chance of mishap and accident since there are just so many idiots on the road that inevitably endangered the other road users by their action and/or inaction.

Idiotic road users are one of my pet peeves but is also not the topic of this entry.


So anyway, I was driving to work in the early hours today, using the same route, driving the same style as I always do. I do consider myself a safe and responsible driver.

Traffic was light and smooth that time of the day, all was going as usual until I was cruising passed a T-junction along Pengkalan Weld.

Nothing triggered me on my peripheral vision, so it's pretty surprising when I heard, rather than felt, a bang from the rear.

Since I didn't really felt any significant impact, it was only when I glanced at my rear view mirror and saw a motorcyclist sprawling on the road that I realised I just had an accident.

Dammit! That motorcyclist hit my new car from the right coming out of the T-junction!

(Okay so it's almost a year old but it's still very dear to me.)

I stopped the car at the road side and headed back towards the motorcyclist, pissed, to be honest. Victim of an accident, angry thinking of the damage done to my dear car and the inconvenience that motorcyclist has caused me.

But I kept my cool, since anger doesn't help and we don't think clearly when we are angry.


What I saw walking back toward the scene was a Malay guy helping to right the motorcycle and the motorcyclist, also Malay, sitting dazed on the road.

No major injury that I can see, some scratches on his left hand and some cuts on the fingers. Helmet had rolled off so he probably didn't wore it properly, or at all.

I went and took photos of the motorcycle, making sure I have the number plate. But I didn't get the road tax since unlike on a car, it's not readily displayed on a motorcycle.

The motorcyclist was either shocked, stoned, or both. He wasn't very lucid and didn't seemed to know what to do even after he was up and walking about.

I actually wasn't surprised when he couldn't produce a driving license, and no, the motorcycle was not insured either.

Guess he knew he is in the wrong since he readily said he would pay for repair. My initial inspection of my car then didn't show any noticeable damage. It's still dark so I was primarily checking if there's any dent.

Don't know why I took pity on him and said will not lodge a police report. He has no insurance to claim anyway, lodging a report would only cause him trouble for driving illegally.

When asked if he had someone he could call, since his left hand was injured and it's not safe to ride his motorcycle home, he said his mobile phone has just been stolen, like, during that accident.

Remember that Malay guy who helped to right the motorcycle? Yea, gone, with the phone most likely.

Human being can be so heinous. One of the reasons I am antisocial.


Anyway, I must have gone soft as I aged, as I went and drove him home after he told me he doesn't remember any number of his family member (that's the problem with relying on phone address book), so couldn't call any of them with my phone.

He was either really tired, or again my suspicion that he was under the influence of some substance, as he dozed off while I drove him home. Getting direction out of him was a challenge as well given his state.

Missed an exit, made a U-turn a lot further down the road, and him confusing left and right (spoken in Malay no less) didn't help.

But eventually I got him home, he woke his mom and I told her what happened. Told her to get his son checked for seriousness of injury and to get the motorcycle back where we left it, the key's with her son.

She thanked me and I left them to go to work, arrived office 40 minutes later than usual.


It's not until I got home, and under a brighter condition, that I noticed the right rear rim has deep scratches. I only noticed the scratches on the right rear end above the wheel earlier.

So I guess the right rear wheel was where the real impact is.

Bollocks, I do mind the scratches on the rim! >_<

My poor car. =(



Other |runaway rants| category entries.


13 August 2019

Books are not written equal


Of course they are not.

There is a reason why some authors are famous and rich while many are just unknowns...

Well, more than one reason but never mind, this is not an entry for that topic.

Suffice it to say that even I have had novels that I simply could not stand finishing, urgh... just urgh.


My latest novel took me longer than my average, more than double the usual time I use to finish a book.

It's not a bad read really, and it's not particularly thick either. 423 pages, fairly common length.

The thing that made it such a drag is the font used in printing. Not sure whether it's the size, spacing, weight or what, but the fonts are just very straining on the eyes, and my eyesight has deteriorated rapidly since early this year.

Really gotta pick the right publisher, would really be a shame to lose reader because of bad printing quality or lousy readability.



Other |temperamental thoughts| category entries.


09 August 2019

放空·颓废


从内到外的累。

身、心、思。

萎靡颓丧、情绪消沉。

我真的就只想放空。

什么都不管了。

就让我颓废吧!



随兴随想 |系列|


04 August 2019

心的频道:经济能力


我常说,我有很廉价的口味。

不是谦虚,就是实话实说而已。

喜欢小贩的食物,而且也没有很会分哪里小贩的哪一样食物比较好那种。

当然有比较喜欢某一种食物的地方,但很普遍的都觉得好吃可以接受。

不是讨厌餐馆的食物,只是不会欣赏。

价值观的关系,所以不觉得物有所值。


总觉得别人误解了我的经济能力,不知道是他们刻意的呢,还是我哪里散发错误的讯息?

福贵人,还是富贵人,其实我不是很清楚那经理讲的是哪一个?

每次他这么形容我我都不禁皱眉,忙说不是。

说我思想富贵我还可以接受,但说我经济富贵我就真的不能接受了。

是,我是对升职高官没什么在乎,但我非常十分在乎加薪!

因为我穷。


或许这样说有点过分,但事实就是我虽然生活不缺,但我经济状况很不健康。

换了部门其中一个没有预料到的事,是失去汽油和交通津贴对我的经济的影响。

以前好的月份可以省几百块,花费多的月份就会超支。

真正的储蓄是靠花红和卖公司的股票的那几个月份。

失去了汽油和交通津贴那几百块,我现在每个只有底薪的月份都是见红的。

那就是我现在的经济状况,血淋淋的真实。


我觉得我已经是过得很简朴、也很俭朴了。

坚持每个周末要让情人老婆仔休息一餐,到外吃一顿。

因为虽然她没有抱怨,我很自责没能给她更好点的生活。

没有后悔一人工作养家的决定,那是我和老婆仔为了孩子的选择。

很庆幸情人不是重物质享受的人,和我的价值观一样,一同在英国过惯了俭朴的生活。

但还是希望自己可以给她和孩子们更好点的生活的…


说回对食物的价值观,就算我经济能力好点,我依旧是喜欢小贩的食物的。

如所说的,我都不会欣赏那些贵的食物,有点吃了浪费的感觉。

好吃的食物对我这廉价口味的人来说有很多,有便宜的为什么要选贵的呢?



心的频道 |系列


01 August 2019

Out of the box thinking


Work/life balance.

Hahahahahaha!

*Sigh...*


Work/life balance to a person like me is about the moderation of work hours and personal hours.

You know, finding the sweet spot that strikes a harmony between the two.

When work/life balance is disturbed for a long period of time, as in the overwork direction, people like me get fed up, and eventually burned out.

Perception differs, a workaholic's work/life balance will be very different to mine.

And nope, I don't envy them one bit. Slacker extraordinaire for the win! =P

Regardless of workaholic or slacker though, we need two or more things to perform an act of balancing. If there's only one thing, there is no need to balance.

So to resolve work/life balance issue, either overwork, or over-life (huh?), the complete removal of one is technically a plausible solution.

You know, if there is only work and nothing else, then there is only one thing and thus does not require balancing!

For workaholics who think they have too much time for life and too little time for work, just remove the life part out of the equation and ta-da! Only work in the equation, hence no work/life balance issue.

How you remove the life out of the equation is up to your interpretation, of course.

Being dead is a total removal of life from the equation and work/life balance is not an issue for a dead person. See, proven!



Other |temperamental thoughts| category entries.