有感而发：思维

忘了为什么当时没有上载这篇文章，今天再翻起这三月尾就写好的文章，都完整了嘛，没有什么要加的了。

二零一八年三月二十五日。

好人难做。

不是第一次讲了。

选择做邪恶的人，不后悔。

选择性的对值得的人好。

那些不会珍惜、当做理所当然的，就算了。

人生很短，要懂得取舍。

有感而发 |系列|

Nine years of badminton

Nine years ago, on the 9th of September 2009, my department moved to where I have always been calling the ulu place.

One good thing about the office in ulu place is the availability of on site badminton courts. Free courts with practically no extra commute required. Nice.

If you were like me, with craptastic badminton skill that no one would invite you to play with them since it would be super boring for them, let me teach you a trick...

You organise a badminton group yourself! Handle all the administrative, logistical, accounting, purchasing, and debt collecting works, and invite a bunch of people. Can't be kicked out of a group you formed yourself, right? ;)

Well, that's what I did, and had the first badminton session on 15th of September 2009.

Court booking system changes throughout the years, there were those years with a system that ticks over at midnight, where there was always someone either with privilege who could book in advance, or who was running an automated script, or found some loop hole in the system, for one of the good courts was always booked as soon as the system allowed booking for a new day. Those were the 'book court at midnight three months in advance days'...

Then there were the no system for court booking days, because, well, breaking something when introducing the latest and greatest software system seems to be a norm. Yea... those horrible first come first serve days when we had to rely on sending someone early to hopefully get a court. Didn't sit well with me, I like to be organised and well-planned ahead.

Then there is this current system that ticks over at 08:00 hours and that allows for booking six months in advance. So ya, I have courts booked up to March 2019...

But alas, the on site badminton courts are going to be no more starting October. They are changing the place into office cubicles instead. Bollocks!

The company rented two courts at a nearby sports facility instead, 2.5 hours session, two days a week for all the badminton players. So it's back to the first come first serve days again (da horror!), and worse this time round since lesser court availability (was 4 courts, 24/7) with all players cramp into two days...

I am a structured and organised person, and I am antisocial. I don't want to rely on luck to see if there is court to play, and I don't want to play with strangers.

This does not bode well. =(

I will give it a try before I decide whether to continue or it's time to quit badminton. I am a pessimist, so I plan for the worst and hope for the best.

Other |temperamental thoughts| category entries.

Quotes

Nearing the end of 2017, I started rereading Salvatore's novels on Drizzt Do'Urden, the famous drow (dark elf) in Forgotten Realms.

Thus far, I am done with The Legend of Drizzt series (13 books) plus The Legend of Drizzt Anthology: The Collected Stories (1 book), The Sellswords trilogy (3 books), The Hunter's Blade trilogy (3 books), the Transitions trilogy (3 books), and I am on the last book of the Neverwinter saga (4 books).

After I completed the Neverwinter saga, I will finally move on to The Sundering series and The Companions Codex series, which are books that I have bought but not read. Then I will get my hands on the Homecoming series.

Anyway, I noted down sentences and paragraphs that are meaningful to me, and this entry is for sharing these quotes.

On friendship and sharing, empathy and relationship:

"Joy multiplies when it is shared among friends, but grief diminishes with every division. That is life."

"What are we without empathy? What manner of joy might we find in our lives if we cannot understand the joys and pains of those around us, if we cannot share in a greater community?"

"Honest love requires empathy. It is a sharing - of joy, of pain, of laughter, and of tears. Honest love makes one's soul a reflection of the partner's moods."

"Without empathy he will find no purpose. Without purpose, he will find no satisfaction. Without satisfaction, he will find no contentment, and without contentment, he will find no joy."

"For respect is the guiding principle of friendship, the lighthouse beacon that directs the course of any true friendship. And respect demands trust."

I am not a religious person and I believe more on principles and moral, so these resonate with me:

"I was not so quick to embrace the concept of any god, of any being that could so dictate, codes of behaviour and precepts of an entire society. Is morality not an internal force, and if it is, are principles then to be dictated or felt?"

"In the end, to a preacher's ultimate sorrow, the choice of a god is a personal one, and the alignment to a being is in accord with one's internal code of principles. A missionary might coerce and trick would-be disciples, but no rational being can truly follow the determined orders of any god-figure if those orders run contrary to his own tenets."

"Most self-imposed burdens are founded on misperceptions. We, at least we of sincere character, always judge ourselves by stricter standards than we expect others to abide by."

"Do we behave out of fear of punishment, or out of the demands of our heart? For me, it is the latter, as I would hope is true for all adults, though I know from bitter experience that such is not often the case."

"The is no greater shackle than self-deception. A man who denies his heart, either through fear or personal consequence - whether regarding physical jeopardy, or self-doubt, or simply of being ostracized - is not free. To go against your values and tenets, against that which you know is right and true, creates a prison stronger than adamantite bars and thick stone walls. Every instance of putting expediency above the cries of conscience throws another heavy chain out behind, an anchor to drag forevermore."

On equality in opportunity but let achievement be individual, as in everyone has the same chance to do something, no prejudice, no preference, but how well you do it and how far you can go depends on your effort:

"Opportunity should be equal, must be equal, but achievement must remain individual."

On living a full, meaningful life; and appreciation of things in life:

"I cannot control the truth of death, whatever my desperation. I can only make certain that those moments of my life I have remaining are as rich as they can be."

"We need to be reminded sometimes that a sunrise lasts but a few minutes. But its beauty can burn in our hearts eternally."

"While I often find myself a victim of the expectations of others, they cannot define me, limit me, or control me as long as I understand that there is no racial truth, that their perceptions of who I must be are irrelevant to the truth of who I am."

"I am not a king. Not in temperament, nor by desire, nor heritage, nor popular demand. I am a small player in the events of a small region in a large world. When my day is past, I will be remembered, I hope, by those whose lives I've touched. When my day is past, I will be remembered, I hope, fondly."

"One of the most common truths of life is that we all take for granted things that simply are. Whether a spouse, a friend, a family, or a home, after enough time has passed, that person, place, or situation becomes the accepted norm of our lives. It is not until we confront the unexpected, not until the normal is no more, that we truly come to appreciate what once we had."

On change:

"Change is the unrolled die, the unused sava piece. It is exciting and frightening only when we hold some power over it, only when there is a potential reversal of course, difficult though it may be, within our control. Absent that safety line of real choice, absent that sense of some control, change is merely frightening. Terrifying, even."

"While change is not always growth, growth is always rooted in change."

Other |temperamental thoughts| category entries.

心的频道：这就是命

有些人含着金锁匙出世，

有些人生出来就等着饿死，

有些人在母胎里就过世了，

这就是命。

同一天受孕的双胞胎，

就因接生的次序一个成了哥哥或姐姐，

另一个成了弟弟或妹妹，

这就是命。

有些人出生就乳糖不耐，

有些人正常可以随性任吃乳制品，

这就是命。

驾车二十多年没遇过，

到要卖车了车镜才因飞石击裂，

这就是命。

有些人只有儿子，

有些人只有女儿，

有些人有儿有女，

这就是命。

心的频道 |系列|

生活点滴：脱光光天

事发和初稿于二零一七年一月二十一日。

在洗衣机前，老婆仔诉苦说到： “做么怎样洗都洗不完的？”

我问： “新的洗衣机不是可以每次洗多一点的咩？”

“是，但还是洗不完咯。看！还有这么多。”

我想了想，说： “看来要宣布脱光光天才可以。”

老婆仔笑后说： “阿翔会很开心咯。”

原来我的大儿子是这样的…

生活点滴 |系列|

Rainy days

Cold. Lifeless.

Wet. Miserable.

Gloomy. Down.

Rainy day. Depressing day.

Where's the rainbow?

Where's the sunshine?

Other |temperamental thoughts| category entries.

Mjolnir found!

According to Marvel Cinematic Universe, Mjolnir was destroyed in the movie Thor: Ragnarok, where Hela just crushed it single-handedly with her iron grip, like it's nothing.

Seriously, don't be groped grabbed by Hela... =P

But I found the hammer in Diablo III! ^_^

Woot! Legendary hammer!

Okay okay, so it's not called Mjolnir but Odyn Son, probably due to copyright that kind of stuff, but come on, it's very obvious, right? My character sure isn't wielding Thor or Loki...

Here's how it looks held by the character:

She is worthy!

Other |geeky gaming| category entries.

有感而发：生命可贵（二）

二零一八年九月十日。

两天前情人老婆仔神色凝重的跑来我房里跟我说：

“老公，虽然我不常讲，但你知道我很爱你的嘛齁？”

她真的很反常，所以我被她搞到很紧张，不知道发生了什么事。

原来公寓又有坠楼身亡事件。

她说我忧郁症来袭时有说过类似的话，所以很担心。

是有在忧郁时想过跳楼会是怎么样的，这种奇怪的思维。

但忧郁症来袭时会想些比较悲观消极的事也不是特意或我能控制的。

再说，只是想想而已，没有要做的念头。

至少这么多年了是这样啦…

也不知道可以讲什么，就是抱着她说：

“我是没有想过要结束自己的生命啦。知道我忧郁时多点关心我，多点抱我咯。”

不三八，所以没有去探听，但老婆仔隔天跟我说是精神有问题的人自杀。

越老越胆怯，所以特意不去看，怕太恐怖会做恶梦。

人生不是电脑程序，看了的东西是不能倒带撤销变成没看过的。

还是不看比较好。

生命可贵啊！

多点关爱你身旁的亲人朋友吧！

这世界多点关爱绝对是好事。

有感而发 |系列|

Q&A

If you asked for my opinion, and I complied, then please do expect me to answer it honestly and directly.

If you just wanted to hear a specific answer that's to your liking, or wanted the answer to come sugarcoated, then you shouldn't have asked me please inform me up front so I can either humour you with half-truth, or smile and say nothing to keep my integrity intact.

I am sure there are others who are much better at sweet-talking, or social engineering, or whatever term people use to describe those who have no qualm telling half-truths, sugarcoat stuff or even blatantly lie to make the other feel good.

But that's just not me.

So really, ask me if you want my honest opinion given frankly, otherwise there are better candidate.

Other |sane side| category entries.

Random behaviour for September 2018

I put in the effort to pay more attention and to allocate the memory space (from my limited pool) to note down at least an interesting thing about my colleague every working day in August, which I then posted in the WhatsApp group.

I didn't missed any day in the month when there was face to face interaction, so I succeeded in my resolution in that sense.

However, the intention was so that the other colleague friends in that group can learn that interesting thing through my sharing and hence get to know each other a bit more. In this sense, I think I had wasted my time and effort since, well, most of them who responded took it as an opportunity to poke fun, primarily at my expense.

So, yea...

I think I will eventually learn to not set resolution that involves others. One can hope.

Ever since I started the daily push-ups resolution back in July 2015, I continued on till now with some other exercises added throughout the years so that I am actually doing three types of exercises instead of just push-ups.

However while I was doing database book keeping in the weekend, I realised I have been slipping more and more lately, there were just too many days lately that I skipped a type of exercise or two, or even didn't do any!

Such lack of discipline, unacceptable!

So, for September 2018, started since the first day of the month, my impromptu resolution is: to do 50 push-ups, leg lifts and air cyclings everyday.

And, starting today, the second impromptu resolution that I will keep unannounced till the end of the month.

Because I can.

I know I said last month that I wanted to do something about my raising nastiness, but I figured what the heck, let me just be the nasty, bitter and evil person. Tired of being nice anyway.

Other |flickering fling| category entries.

  

Still dreaming

Back in June, thinking of capitalising on the Raya offer and the no tax period, I placed an order for a car that I like, a saloon.

Ever since, it has been a weekly query on car availability until I gave up asking in late August, accepting the fact that I will not get the car before the re-implementation of the Sales and Service Tax (SST).

So much for capitalising on the no tax period...

The agent finally called this morning, not to tell me my car is finally available, but to inform me of the approximated extra I have to pay for SST.

That would be around three thousand Ringgit Malaysia.

A cost that the dealer is not going to absorb because their sales are so good that they couldn't care less. It's all about supply and demand, and other more selfish, greedier, and darker stuff I could think of.

But wifey told me I should not think the worst of people, so I shall just stick to supply and demand instead of the agent stringing out orders to fulfil many months of sales quota for bonus, or because I didn't pay "incentive" that kind of stuff.

Yea, well...

The agent also told me no car for September, and looking more like November or end of the year for car availability.

Great, just great, so freaking fantastic. I broke my sarcasm meter long ago so I don't know how high that would have registered.

So yea, I have three dreams that I considered important, and getting a nice car being the easiest and probably the only one that I can achieve, yet here I am, still dreaming.

This is my life.

Other |runaway rants| category entries.