There's Something About Nelson

If the title of this entry is somehow familiar, it's no coincidence. Remember the comedy starring Cameron Diaz and Ben Stiller? You know, the one with Cameron's hair standing up after she applied some "hair gel"?


the MAN-made "hair gel" scene

Oh, remember that zipper incident? Muncho ouchy! >_<

If these meant nothing to you, then I recommend you a movie called There's Something About Mary. Good laugh.

But let's not talk about Mary, it's all about Nelson here!


original image source

Having the misfortune luck of sitting opposite Nelson at work, there are so many tidbits that Nelson made known about himself over the years that I simply don't know where to start.

I guess if I have to put it in one sentence, then this is it:

Nelson is actually Mary.

No he is not Cameron Diaz (thank goodness!). I didn't mean he had a sex change operation either (actually I am not sure...). What I meant with that statement is that Nelson is actually a woman trapped in a man's body.

Okay, Nelson didn't tell us that, I just I drew that conclusion from all the things he did or told us. I am going to let you make your own conclusion by giving you facts.

Behold! The things that you may or may not know about Nelson...

• his toilet time is similar to the ladies', we (the guys) always have to wait for him, and yes, he has to check his hair everytime
• Nelson told us his mom once mistaken him for a lady
• Nelson (and The Pink Master) likes the Y.M.C.A. song (for your information, Y.M.C.A. song is associated with the gay culture)
• Nelson likes to touch a male colleague's shoulder or suggests they hold hands when walking down the corridor
• Nelson likes to molest other male colleagues' chest, especially the nipple region
• When teased about him and a lady colleague (someone to do with sailor and moon), he told us not to spread rumour about him, saying that he still wants to get a BOYfriend
• This one makes more sense in Mandarin. In Mandarin, the male and the female use different word to mean marrying someone, a guy would use 娶 while a lady would use 嫁. Nelson once told us he wants to marry a rich person, and he said it using 嫁
• After one of his male friends went on a date with a lady friend last Christmas, Nelson felt betrayed, he told us that male friend is among his gang of male friends that vowed to be gay forever!

I didn't make any of these up, they are really what Nelson had said or done, I may not remember the exact words but the essence of his statements are captured here.

So, for all the things listed above (and some more), I came to my conclusion above. Or what I say more commonly: Nelson has gone to the pink side.

But there's hope!

Miss Money (a lady) has been seen around Nelson recently and she seems to be pulling Nelson away from the pink side. Let us all wish that she succeeds so Nelson will stop molesting us.

Okay, I have a little confession here, I lied about Nelson is actually Mary.

He is actually Nancy.