心的频道：为自己加油

忧郁症来袭期间，有些日子还可以，除了无法守住那只有瞬间的快乐，和整天都是低能量的状况以外，几乎和没有忧郁症时差不多。

我不是喜欢交际的人，所以应该也没有什么人可以察觉。当然也没有必要让别人知道，毕竟这是连最亲的家人都不以为然的事。

有些忧郁症期间的日子还可以，但有些日子就特别难过。再努力的让自己处于水面之上，仍是有挣扎失败、沉溺的时候。觉得自己的自律还不错，但就是会有守不住的时候…

伸出去要抓住点什么让自己不溺毙的手，屡次落空或被无情的忽视。是的，只能靠自己。

所以加油吧，我自己！

这是独自的挣扎，自己和自己的战争。

心的频道 |系列|

忌日

对不起。谢谢你。

心语细述 |系列|

Low

Mood: low.

Energy level: low.

Motivation: low.

Quality of sleep: low.

Wellness: low.

Liveliness: low.

Optimism: low.

Other |sane side| category entries.

Solemn thoughts

Vesak Day today, a holiday. Meant three days long weekend. Weekend that included Mother's Day.

*****

Happy Mother's Day, mommi. Can no longer greet you this, but hope you still hear it in heaven.

*****

Heavy is the heart when random people tried to sell me carnation the evening before Mother's Day.

*****

"What kind of man can't take care of his own mother?" in episode 5 of The Penguin series. Painful.

*****

This depression bout is a bad one. Need more love and caring.

Other |temperamental thoughts| category entries.

Pickleball, round 2

Played my second game of pickleball today with colleagues. First game was back in January.

Yes, I still suck at pickleball. =P

But I think I suck less this time so I will take that as positive progress instead of being paired with superior-skilled team mate, hehe.

Just four of us today, and we played in company's basketball court, using tape to mark the pickleball court outline, and with an easy to assemble and disassemble portable pickleball net.

Truth is I am already huffing and puffing during the warm up, but we played two complete matches.

Had a fun exercise, will definitely play again given the chance.

The traffic home though, that was horrible, meh! And I expect to be aching all over tomorrow.

I am very out of shape.

Other |enjoyable events| category entries.

Hello cave

Another depression bout has landed.

I usually don't, but this time I think I may know the triggers, for they had invaded my dreams.

Those last few dreams just before fully awake that I could remember.

Two main themes. The departed, and the trouble one.

Hello cave.

Other |hyped up heads up| category entries.

Indulgence

Last night of four days long weekend, all in all I had it good.

Only did about 1.5 hours of overtime work, and only in one out of the four days. Absolutely did not worked on Labour Day.

That's a win. Okay, a small win, but still a win.

When the idea of this entry popped into my mind, the word that kept popping up is 'splurge'.

But no, I didn't went on a shopping spree or bought anything expensive. I spent Labour Day playing three different computer games and watched some variety shows.

That's simply blissful. So perhaps splurge is not the right word, but definitely a rare indulgence.

Other |temperamental thoughts| category entries.