Backlogs #19: cart versus cat

This screenshot is dated 11th of September 2015, it's titled "cart versus cat".

The conversation started all proper and buusiness like, until the typos started me off a tangent. =P

What? I am a dog person.

No animal was harm in the making of this blog entry.

In this series: |1| |2| |3| |4| |5| |6| |7| |8| |9| |10| |11| |12| |13| |14| |15| |16| |17| |18|

-1

My well-being above my job, I made that paradigm shift a few years back.

Regardless of how much we give, the company would just replace us when we fall.

The company cares about making money, employees are simply substitutable headcounts.

Well, even before that shift in mindset, I am proud of being the slacker extraordinaire anyway.

It's just that before the paradigm shift, I might still feel guilty or unease, and pulled many overtimes at the cost of my well-being, my work/life balance.

No more. My well-being comes first now.

Don't get me wrong, I do my job the best I can, responsibility is my strength, and I have my own standard to live up to.

But I am proud of being slacker extraordinaire.

So I feel ashamed when I have to work overtime, such non-slacker-ish thing.

And today, I was caught doing overtime by a terminal workaholic. Well, THE terminal workaholic, who promptly rubbed it in.

So disgraceful.

Slacker point -1.

Other |temperamental thoughts| category entries.

有感而发：减寿升级版

二零一八年四月二十四日。

说我近来很烦闷，自己都觉得讲得很腻了。

显，干脆不讲。

反正讲了也没屁用。

工作、经济、家人、健康，没有一样好。

这样的心境，我是尽量减少交际的，没必要影响别人。

一同唱歌的朋友邀唱歌，我一点兴致都没有。

只觉得会很累。

问问老婆仔意见，还被训话一番，更加显。

唉，整个人一点都不好。

真的觉得自己会短命。

有感而发 |系列|

Revisiting Faerûn

Earlier this month, there was a family emergency that took me away from my gaming.

When the critical period was over and I returned home to my gaming machine, my World of Warcraft subscription has ended.

With the possibility of me needing to travel on short notice to handle family matter still ever presence, I didn't resubscribe to World of Warcraft.

So I took a break from Azeroth and decided to revisit Faerûn instead.

Reinstalled Baldur's Gate, the classic, not the enhanced edition or whatever the new one is called. I have the six discs version, with the Tales of the Sword Coast expansion.

Back in the days when I just bought the game, I only completed the base storyline and didn't explore the expansion side of stuff. I also bought Baldur's Gate II: Shadows of Amn and its expansion Throne of Bhaal (also the six CDs version), I haven't played that one still. =P

So this time, I plan to complete the whole saga, both games plus their expansions, with the same character throughout.

Well, that's the plan anyway... I actually don't have high confidence I will be able to complete this epic game journey, something always happen somehow to interrupt the plan.

I can but try. =)

Anyway, AD&D RPG gamer will know character creation is a big deal. I have never been a brute force kind of person and fancy myself as someone who outsmarts and outmaneuvers the opponent.

Intelligence and dexterity based, lethal magic and agile movement that kind of character. Besides, all those locked doors and chests are just taunting my curiosity, gotta open them all!

So naturally I am drawn towards the mage/thief combo. Initially I wanted a human dual class, with mage the higher of the two classes, but I cannot be bothered with finding out when is the optimal level to switch and also I would pretty much be playing as a thief in Baldur's Gate I content if I intend to use this same character in Baldur's Gate II.

Meh!

So I created a bard instead, but a few levels in I am really disappointed with this class, perhaps in Baldur's Gate II with class kit this class is better but in Baldur's Gate I it's just... meh!

I gave up and started all over again with a half elf mage/thief multiclass, I messed up the first level up and settled for a grand 1 hit point increase (d'oh!), but so far so good, so I am just going to stick with this fragile character and remind myself to reroll a few hundred times to get decent hit point in subsequent level ups.

Oh well, the AD&D system...

Hope I can complete the saga this time round.

Other |geeky gaming| category entries.

Show me the money!

Mommi is currently in rehabilitation, where doctors and nurses are trying to help her recovers and regains some critical abilities after her stroke.

Eventually she will be discharged and we intend to send her to a nursing home so she can get the support she needs, as well as relieving pappi as he can no longer cope with caring for mommi by himself.

For a nursing home with the level of support and care mommi needs, and with a nice and comfortable environment, the cost is substantial.

In order to find out just how much I can contribute to that cost, I did some accounting yesterday night, going back five years of my finance record.

I have always known that after all the expenses, I don't have much left every month from my salary, with some months going over the income.

The figure I get for the average of monthly expenditure over last five years is a sombre fact of just how bad my financial situation is.

Most of the friends and colleagues doubted me when I told them of my finance, well, the hard truth is that the average monthly expenditure over last five years is more than my monthly salary. My salary hasn't changed much over the last five years.

The increment I get every year is not keeping up with the inflation in living cost, so I am progressively getting poorer. No thanks to the government.

Only from the figures I worked out yesterday night that I realised I have been relying on all my bonuses and side incomes wifey managed to generate to keep us in the black. My monthly salary simply does not cut it.

That's just so... depressing.

It's clear that I won't be able to contribute my equal share of the cost among my brothers for mommi's nursing home cost. That doesn't sit well with me but it's a brutal reality that I have to accept.

It's just sad and disheartening that working my arse off is still not making enough to support my family.

Bollocks.

Show me the money! If only StarCraft cheat works in real life...

Other |sane side| category entries.

转捩点？

中国的「奔跑吧」又开播啦！

终于有点好的事发生。

真好，因为我实在是好累了。

身、心、思都疲累。

随兴随想 |系列|

同房病邻

断断续续写了几天才写完，妈咪前天已从中央医院换到康复中心，这篇文章写的是中央医院的那病房。


中央医院，两个人的病房塞了三个病床。

靠窗的是一位常常自言自语，有哮喘的精神病患者。

（我也是常常自言自语精神有点问题，但应该没有她那么严重，我想啦…）

她用的仪器的声音分贝应该是超标的吧？这么吵怎么可能还是健康安全水平哦？


中间的是一位在森林里被不知什么虫咬了后全身痛到无法行动，有可以十秒内入睡的神技，但鼻鼾声超夸张（不是开玩笑的咯），总是叫人做这做那的女人。

帮她那些琐琐碎碎的事倒是没问题，助人为快乐之本嘛，比较吃力的是她喜欢找人讲话，而且只能用马来文和我沟通。

（我反社会、反社交的咯，加上我的马来文已经烂到不行…）


妈咪是在最靠近门的位子，也是最静的一位，基本上没什么讲话，包括我们问她问题和想要和她沟通的时候… *汗*

陪在妈咪身旁，其实无能为力减轻她的病情，那是医生、药物、和妈咪自身的战争。

可以帮的，是定时喂奶和喂药，然后洗用具。咳嗽时拍拍背，抹抹嘴。必要时调整床的高度，翻转妈咪的睡姿。妈咪清醒时就和她聊聊，但通常都是单方的对话，很多时候妈咪根本认不出我是谁。不时查一查尿片，看看需不需要叫护士帮忙换。

哦，要常常阻止妈咪拉掉黏在鼻子，通到胃的管子，拉出来就大件事了啦。


我发现，医院一点都不适合休息养病，除了那同房病邻（我觉得）不健康水平的仪器分贝外，还有处处传来其他零零种种仪器的声音。

吵到～

还有就是那每几小时就来的检验，血压，血糖等等，你在睡觉也不放过。还是其实两小时醒一次才是健康睡法？

我是根本不可能在这样的情况下休息的啦。



随兴随想 |系列|

Be there

Mommi, I am going to see you tomorrow.

Nothing much I can do to make you better, really.

Such sense of helplessness.

*Sigh...*

But I will be there.

Just to be there.

Other |sane side| category entries.

凌乱错杂

心境凌乱不堪，思维交错混杂。

无法集中，坐立不安。

昨天在买机票的最后一个步骤打了个电话给爸比，他叫我不要去。

我听了，没有去。

要去，就只为万一。

我现在想，究竟是为了自己，还是为了妈咪？

为了若是万一我可以在场？

为了自己可以在若是万一前再见见妈咪，和她讲讲话？

有老年痴呆症的她，会知道我是谁吗？

她还会有清醒的时刻吗？

是不是应该给爸比私人的空间，独处的时间？

若是万一，善后的工作我比较能够贡献吧？

若是万一，过后关注爸比比较重要吧？

很多的犹豫、不确定。

总是想起同事朋友讲的那句：“不要留下后悔遗憾。”

唯一昨天没有去的好，就是我可以明天一早去银行处理妈咪为了万一和我联名的户口。

应该会在处理了那后才飞过去。

妈咪，我爱你。

心语细述 |系列|

Mommi, I love you

Mommi, I love you.

You know that, right?

Are you ready?

Am I ready?

Will I ever be ready?

Other |sane side| category entries.

有感而发：纳闷

二零一八年四月三日。

三个月换了三次的工作范围，还没有学会胜任一样管理层又改变主意了。

浪费时间精力学到半生不熟的知识技能，没什么屁用就已要改行。

废。

管理层的策划能力有够废。

自己又没有换工所以也是废。

最新的这工作范围有够旷。

就这样要我从零开始接过、什么都不懂的情况去应付名单里有接近九十人的工作。

废。

每天都有那胸口发闷，呼吸不顺畅的感觉。

整个人都不好了。

真的会短命。

有感而发 |系列|