Marital Status

I have wanted to write this for a while now, but somehow it kept slipping my mind. So I guess I better just write it now that I still remember. =)

You know, when you found that "special one" and started the courtship and seeing each other frequently, basically that's when the relationship upgrades to "more than friend", or more commonly known as boyfriend/girlfriend.

So, "more than friend": boyfriend/girlfriend. Legal status: single.

The next level up comes when the relationship has matured and both parties have decided that yea, this is really "the one" and yes, I want to spend the rest of my life with this person.

In order for the relationship to upgrade to this next level, the guy has to go through the, to me, dreadful act of proposal.

Besides the fear of being rejected, proposal is made tough by all the stupid Hollywood movies with thier grand and expensive ways of proposal. You know, the fairer of the species may have seen just such a movie and set that as their baseline of comparison, dammit.

Since I have already been through that, I want to make sure all other guys suffer too. So ladies, please make your man propose to you, else don't marry him. =P

Proposal usually comes with the engagement ring, the guy will present the engagement ring to the lady and if the lady accepts the proposal, she would take the ring and put it on her ring finger (left hand or right hand depends on culture and sometimes religion). This signifies that the lady is engaged, the status thus changes to fiance for the guy, and fiancee for the lady.

Engagement ring is the one with a "rock", most commonly diamond, but can be other gem or precious stone. Only the lady gets an engagement ring, the guy gets to break his wallet buying the ring THEN to think of how to perform the dreadful proposal.

Engagement is not legally binding, it can be called off without any legal procedure. So guys, make sure you really found "the one" and not just someone who wants to run away with the diamond ring. =P

So, engaged: fiance/fiancee, fiancee gets an engagement ring. Legal status: single.

The next level is of course, getting married.

Getting married is actually quite simple, I am going to cover what is applicable in Malaysia. The engaged couples go to the government body that deals with marriage and put up their photos, this announces to everyone, well, to those busy bodies that actually go check who is getting married, that they are getting married.

The photos will be up for a period of time (of course in Boleh-Land this period can be omitted by paying money), if there is no objection from anyone, then the couples can sign the papers in the presence of witnesses and the government personal. Two witnesses and the government personal sign those papers too and basically that's it, you are married.

This signing of papers is of course, legally binding. Meaning you are legally married after signing those papers, not after you have your grand wedding ceremony on a later date which you planned to invite the whole village.

In fact, you do not even need to have a wedding ceremony at all if you choose so.

A lot of people, either ignorance or simply misinformed, thought that signing of the papers signifies engagement, and only after the wedding ceremony are they considered married. Nope, one is legally married after signing the papers, and it's illegal to put your marital status as single after that.

Wedding bands are exchanged after a couples get married. A wedding band is traditionally just a plain ring (hence a band), but nowadays some wedding bands also contain precious stone.

Again the wedding band is worn on the ring finger, left hand for me but in some countries/cultures/religions, it's on the right. The bride can choose to wear both the engagement ring plus the wedding band on the same ring finger, or seperate them to left and right ring fingers, or to just wear the wedding band.

So, married: husband/wife, both exchanged wedding band. Legal status: married.

Of course there are many whom actually know they are legally married after signing the papers but haven't had their wedding ceremony, they just prefer to mislead the others into thinking they are still single, wanting the attention they associate with being single.

Naughty naughty, and disrespectful of the other half.