Long weekend

Two days public holiday next week, initially set as Monday and Tuesday, thus making a four days long weekend, however yesterday they said could change to Tuesday and Wednesday instead.

Gotta see the moon to decide when Raya is.

Anyway, as soon as I saw that, I asked if it's okay for me to stick to Monday and Tuesday as holidays, and that I would resume work on Wednesday regardless. I worked overtime until 19:20 hours, while the manager has added to the message in team chat, didn't answered my question though.

I will take that as a yes and go ahead with my plan.

My plan for the long weekend is simple: rest, and complete the Diablo IV season journal. New season happening in April, I am seriously running out of time. I simply have way too little time for gaming recently.

This week, with the various visitors demanding demo, sharing and meetings, has been a super inefficient week. Additional workloads to prepare, present, and attend meetings, while simultaneously decreasing my work efficiency. A big waste of time as far as I am concerned, especially when things were rushed, prepared agenda being skipped, and the visitors not really paying attention anyway.

So ya, no thanks for wasting my time and causing me to work overtime just because I had to entertain you. As if I am not busy enough as it is.

Anyway, rest and complete Diablo IV season journal. Absolutely no work, and don't give a damn whether it's Raya on Monday or Tuesday, and sticking to my four days weekend regardless.

That's the plan anyway, hope I can stick to it.

Other |hyped up heads up| category entries.

别来！

那些大老板、大经理、大人物等等，总之是需要大费周章，麻烦一大堆人的那些，就请你们别来了。

增加我的工作量，又同时减少我的有效工作时间，这双杀很累人。

真的，别来了。

随兴随想 |系列|

靠自己

很多事，如果可以靠自己完成，可能反而最有效率，也可能品质最有保证。

当然不是所有的事都这样。

有些事，原本就不应该是由一个人来做的，但要么求助无门、要么被拖延忽视，最终还是只能靠自己。

事与愿违、无可奈何。

唉～

越老失却的越多，当我已经无法靠自己的时候，会是怎样一个惨况？

心语细述 |系列|

失却

跟着岁月的流逝，以为应该是越积越多的东西和事物，怎么反而是渐渐减少、失去的？

除了年龄和腰围，拥有的越来越少，失却的越来越多。

那感觉很强烈，甚至有点诡异。

为什么？

是不是一切本该化为零，生不带来，死不带去？尘归尘，土归土？

心语细述 |系列|

More than double

I feel like a fool for providing a reward offer for my kids if they could keep their mobile phone usage under 2 hours daily. A pure reward system, all for their gain and nothing to lose.

For the record, the 2 hours daily average is not a number from thin air, my daily average is 30 minutes or less for more than a year running now. Figured that most people probably cannot be like me so gave a generous 4x multiplier, also factored in that they have around 8 hours of useful time after school, spending 25% of that on the phone is already plenty.

Rather they spend the time on their studies or some other form of entertainment really, but what to do, phubber pandemic is real and deteriorating the society. Phone addiction is serious issue but way too many willingly embrace the rot.

But I digress. Anyway, to me, the MYR1000 reward is money well spent if the kids developed their self-discipline, self-control, and time management. All useful skills that will benefit their whole lives.

What did they do instead? They train their deceit and dishonesty on a daily basis, by cheating, manipulating the screen time, excluding frequently used apps and games, turning off the screen time tracking apps, et cetera.

And showed me the fake screen time week after week without shame or guilt.

Well, let's just say parents are not the fools the kids think they are, and truth always prevails. So based on last week's fake and real data, my kids actual usage were 2x and 2.7x what they showed me.

Needless to say that the reward offer is now cancelled. The disappointment is real. Massive and hurtful.

Other |sane side| category entries.

SoulBot-VIII

SoulBot-V, the gaming machine built in 2014, has finally been put to rest after its faithful service all these years.

Like I mentioned in the previous entry, it has outlast SoulBot-VI, the NUC I bought for wifey in 2017. Yes I know, the Skull Canyon NUC is not really a gaming machine but I just named all the computers I owned SoulBot anyway. =P

So, I bought a Lenovo ThinkCentre M70t Gen 5 to replace SoulBot-V. It arrived a few days ago but I only really had time to do the necessary hardware installation, software installation and set up yesterday (Saturday), been working way too many overtime lately...

While wifey is indifferent to the delay, the kids were dying from not being able to play games. Funny, it's supposed to be wifey's computer.

Following my naming convention, this new computer is called SoulBot-VIII. It has 14th Gen Intel Core i5 CPU and 16GB of DDR5-4800MHz memory. I opted for a 512GB SSD as primary harddrive for all the programs and games, and installed a 3.5" 500GB and a 2.5" 256GB SATA harddrives myself for wifey and the kids to use as data storage.

I also bought an Intel ARC A750 graphics card, thinking to install that into the system, not knowing this ThinkCentre M70t is actually a mini computer that cannot fit in a full-sized graphics card.

My bad. So much for wanting to make the kids happy with an upgrade in graphics card compared to when they played on SoulBot-V, oh well.

Since it's a shorter graphics card, I salvaged the GeForce GTX 1050Ti from SoulBot-V and installed it into the new computer instead. Sorry kids, no upgrade in graphics card.

In fact, the 500GB SATA harddrive is also from SoulBot-V, after I copied the necessary data, I formatted it and repurposed it as a data drive instead of an operating system drive.

May you rest in pieces, SoulBot-V.

Finally got everything installed and set up yesterday evening, and handed over to wifey her new computer. She hasn't used it yet thus far, the elder son is the first to use it instead. First thing he asked after waking up this morning is whether the games are installed, so I proceeded to do that and as soon as I am done he has been playing till now. Oh well.

As a thermal engineer, it crossed my mind that the existing cooling solution for the mini system may be a bit lacking after I installed all those additional hardware. I have asked the kids to keep an eye out if they encounter temperature issue while they game.

Other |hyped up heads up| category entries.

Twenty percent

It's natural to expect improvement from one generation to another.

That's progression, evolution.

However, there are also physical laws that govern how fluid dynamics and heat transfer work.

So from the things they changed from last generation to this, it's no surprise to me when the cooling capability became worse.

To me it's very straight forward, we were already pushing the envelope in the previous generation, and when you shrink the useful envelope for thermal solution in this generation, naturally the cooling capability becomes worse.

But my words and gut feeling are not convincing data, so while the others were busy harping on changing this and that for very subjective aesthetic reason, I just concentrated on finishing the thermal model generation based on the not-so-mature-but-finally-available CAD.

The lower than previous generation cooling capability projection from thermal simulation results got the attention, and lent me the focus on working on things that improve cooling capability instead.

Through some creative solution, finally managed to improve the cooling capability by around twenty percent, meeting the higher than previous generation target the management set.

Truth is, while the creative solution does help, the relaxed customer specification this year round is the major factor in that improvement in cooling capability. Like I said, there are physical laws that do not yield to the arbitrary goal set by the management.

Other |temperamental thoughts| category entries.

Random thoughts

Did too many overtime continuously for too many days. This is how passion is destroyed.

*****

Sharing is caring, but perhaps I shouldn't care so much?

*****

Talk is cheap. Show me actual action and commitment instead.

*****

Graphics card arrived. Computer arrived. Monitor not yet. Not aware it's a mini tower, graphics card does not fit. Will do proper blog entry some other day.

*****

Need more love. Quantity and quality.

Other |temperamental thoughts| category entries.

Does not compute

Many years back the company recognition reward points could be used to get Amazon voucher.

And since I was still going on business trips to the States back then, bought many books and board games using the recognition points.

Good old time.

Now, Amazon is no longer listed in the reward list and I no longer go on business trip to the States.

Actually, I no longer go on business trip. Period.

So when I found out that I can use the recognition points to purchase the graphics card the company produces through the employee purchase program, I jumped straight in.

The free shipping is icing on the cake.

The lounge computer has quit, I haven't had time to look at it and see if it can be resurrected. I have been working through the weekend, and last two days I worked till 03:00 hours and 02:00 hours respectively.

Not very keen on repairing the lounge computer though, primarily because it's an aging computer that cannot support Windows 11 as is, and Windows 10 support is ending soon. Plus it is not worth the upgrade to make it Windows 11 ready.

Also because the main users, the kids, do not take care of it and installed just about whatever they want. Last time it died I walked the kids through the debug process and brought it back up.

Now they break it again and just twiddle their thumbs. So since I am working overtime like no tomorrow anyway, they can continue to twiddle their thumbs.

Bought a new desktop instead, but it has not arrived. The graphics card is for this new computer.

The international shipment for the graphics card incurred a tax. The tax is MYR61, the courier service charge for handling the tax is MYR50.

Ya, bollocks!

Other |runaway rants| category entries.

Gathering

The supposedly Chinese New Year gathering with colleague friends finally happened yesterday.

Despite my many attempts in recommending a restaurant on the island, the dinner was at mainland.

Took me slightly more than an hour to get there, "contributed" to the puasa traffic.

And yet when I got there, many commuting from mainland were still not there yet. Shame on them!

The gang of colleague friends who ate together, played together, and had interactions outside of work. Yes, I wasn't so antisocial back then...

Food was good, but that's not the main point. The main thing is the laughter, I had a great time. =)

Other |enjoyable events| category entries.

病夫

一整天都累和没精神是一回事，但一整天都在头疼和头晕又是另一回事。

昨晚突然头晕到要呕的程度，直接上床做死尸。

没吃宵夜，也没有刷牙，就是床边请求情人老婆仔放了一个水桶以防突然的呕吐，然后彻底死尸模式。

是连开口讲话都觉得要呕那种，全部精力都要集中于忍着不要呕吐的一个处境。

整夜睡睡醒醒，肚饿但因为一直头晕作呕所以也不敢吃，早上起床后还是没有完全好转，但至少可以脱离死尸状态。

今天一整天头晕、头痛不断，太严重时就只好旷工一阵去躺到好点了才继续工作。重复了几次这样。

整个人就是一直处于不舒服的状况，真的是整个人都不好了。

心语细述 |系列|

继续发展

二十七寸腰，那是多久前的陈年往事啊？

新陈代谢下降后，我不必努力也不停的向横发展。

变成不再是「吃浪米 」，开始时还真的是很开心的，终于不属于体重不足的一群啦，嘢！

然后一个不留意就变成超重的一群了，再然后就是变成越吃越少也会继续向横发展了…

这是什么妖术？！！？

三十一寸已经被我攻破，挤不进去了。

继续，呃… 努力？

随兴随想 |系列|

没精神

已经很多天，整个人整天就只有累。

身体没有其它生病的迹象，所以应该不是生病了。忧郁症除外。

想想这次很久了的感觉。但这疲累有别于忧郁症的低能量和乏力感。

是累到无法集中、不能思考，累到无法工作那种。

需要在床上躺几分钟才能再继续工作的情况。重复循环，靠那样撑到放工。

老了，身体和健康都不行了。不是五十多才会收档的吗？看来可能五十都到不了…

又能怎样？

真诚的关爱在乎很难得。

心语细述 |系列|

有感而发：需要假点

回顾和经理的那个会谈，领悟是我应该假一点、收一点。

保留点、模糊些。不该太诚实、坦白。

虽然真的不是我追求的，而是经理推荐的，所以也不觉得可惜什么的。但经理仿佛很在乎，所以有那好像自己辜负了经理的感觉。

反而是得知被高层那样间接否定后，感觉有点… 失落？不悦？不服？哼！我不够好咩？

其实金鱼记忆的我，根本就不记得有没有过那样的对话，但我知道我最坦诚的答复是什么，所以没有违和感。

再说，可能也不是否定我的能力，而是尊重我的意愿？

当然也不难想象可能的隐蔽目的啦…

怎么都好，要学会假一点，收一点，特别是和那些高层对话时。

真累人。

有感而发 |系列|

天马行空：纯想

今天放工后累到开始头痛，所以晚餐前乖乖躺在床上做死尸。

但偏偏脑子不肯休息，竟然开始了一大堆如果的假想，越想越令自己好奇。

有没有一个平行时空里的我，是没有原则、彻底黑化的？那样的我，会做出多少骇人的事呢？

有没有一个平行时空里的我，是坚守了爱好，靠摄影或写作维生的呢？

有没有一个平行时空里的我，是和初恋修成正果的呢？

有没有一个平行时空里的我，是不婚主义者，和社会隔离，隐居郊外的呢？

有没有一个平行时空里的我，是选择不生孩子，只过两人世界的呢？那样的生活会是怎样的？

有没有一个平行时空里的我，是有会黏爸爸的女儿的呢？想想都妒忌…

有没有一个平行时空里的我，是靠老婆养，吃软饭的好命小白脸？

有没有一个平行时空里的我，是选择了不修读博士学位，拿了硕士就出来工作的呢？早那几年开始工作，结果究竟会是怎样？经济能力是不是会比现在好呢？

有没有一个平行时空里的我，是大学后就留在国外工作、生活的呢？

老实说我还真蛮好奇的…

如果真的有平行时空，我又有能力观察它们的话，我还真的很想看看究竟是怎样？好奇宝宝就是要知道而已，没有想要改变什么。

天马行空 |系列|

真是的

大老板要来访。非常十分很大的老板。

部门经理和一些同事在上星期一我休假时开了一个会议，准备大老板到访时要做的展览。

我星期三复工后也没有人通知我，就是发了个星期五展览复习的会议日历给我。

我是星期五那会议前才知道他们是要我展示和讲解一些内容的。两个我没有参与的项目的内容…

怎么可以这样？我都没有同意过嘞！

我没头没尾很烂的复习后提出了把我去掉或替换，因为我真的就是不想要做。没有人理我…

真是的！如果是我有参与的项目，或是关于散热的东西我都不会这么抗拒。这些是别人的项目嘞！

经理要的是展现和推销团队的能力和品质给大老板。为自己的名誉负责是一回事，为整个团队的名誉负责可是另一回事哦…

唉，这些没有必要的压力，真是的。

随兴随想 |系列|

明天要开工了…

八天的农历新年（和大宝森节）长假就这样过去了。

明天要开工了…

不要不要不要不要！ >_<

八天假期，感觉只是自在悠闲了一天而已。要么开长途车、要么加时工作开会、要么头疼到被逼做死尸、要么花半天清理什么的，只有今天才真的是清闲休息的。

然后明天就要开工了，唉…

真的是很泄气的咯，「显 」到～

随兴随想 |系列|

心的频道：缺抱

纳闷、低落。

若有所失。

宅在家里很好，我喜欢。但没有情人老婆仔就没有拥抱，我很不喜欢。

每天需要抱抱几次的我，现在已经三天没有抱抱了。很难受。

唉～

科技发达，视频通话已经很普遍，每天可以和情人老婆仔透过萤幕见面聊天。但是触碰不到。

我要抱抱！

*哭哭* =(

心的频道 |系列|

放假咯！（二）

今天独自驾车从娘家回到自己的家，路程还算好，但抵达时已经开始头疼。

不是第一次独自驾长途车，但要认已经不年轻…

情人老婆仔和两个瓜还要待多几天，下星期才乘飞机回来。

以往这样的时候就真的是独自宅在家里，可以好几天都没有什么讲话那种。

但现在有爸比，还有两个小毛孩。

独自有独自的轻松自由，可以彻底颓废，但爸比在就要过得像样点。也好啦，正餐不会随随便便。

还有几天才开工，所以感觉像是另一个假期开始咯…

随兴随想 |系列|

放假咯！

乱七八糟的学年，和昨天大儿子才刚考完高中政府考试的缘故，所以我今年的农历新年长假今天才真的开始。

待会就会回娘家，需要开长途车，然后几晚不是睡在自己的床，所以应该会是蛮累的几天。

偏偏还在忧郁症期间，能量偏低，唉…

怎么都好，放假咯！

知道我今天开始放长假的一位同事朋友一早就即时通讯告知我公司给了个新年红包，谢谢哦！

随兴随想 |系列|

心语细述

有些东西、事物、人，失去了就不会再重来。

而且是绝对的，没有可能的余地那种。

所以，我只有在心里默默的一句：

“妈咪，生日快乐。”

心语细述 |系列|

开工大吉！

越老越迷信，以前都没有去理什么开工吉日的，但近几年每年都会特意查看几时是开工吉日，然后相应安排自己的年假。

今天是其中一个不冲我的生肖的开工吉日，所以选择了今天开工。

当然也有开工吉时，很巧那是我正常开工的时间，所以就是如常上班时间就是了。毕竟现在才刚过凌晨，睡醒了开工正好。

不求升官升职，就许工作顺心顺意、没有小人困扰、和有个可观加薪。

祝自己乙巳年开工大吉！

心语细述 |系列|

乙巳年

今天是农历正月初一，农历新年，祝大家农历新年快乐！

很多人以为农历是阴历，其实农历是阴阳合历，因为虽然农历是以阴历为基础，但它也参考太阳回归为年的长度，用闰月来调节。

今年是乙巳年，就是木蛇年，但今天出世的宝宝还是属龙的哦！;)

这是因为中国命理学用的是中国阳历（干支历），一套根据二十四节气的历法。干支历里新的一年是在立春，而二零二五年的立春是二月三日，所以乙巳年二月三日才开始，在那天之前还是龙年哦。

其实不在乎八字或风水的人应该也不会在乎生肖啦，呵呵。而在乎八字的人也不重视生肖动物，而是相对的阴阳五行。

不多说了，希望自己本命年可以顺顺利利。

心语细述 |系列|

Hello cave

It hit me yesterday night. No, I don't know what triggered it, but then, I seldom do.

I just know its arrival from the familiar feeling, the state it puts me in.

No warning and no opt out.

Another depression bout has started.

Hello cave.

Other |hyped up heads up| category entries.

Pickleball

Played my first game of Pickleball today with colleagues. It was a team event.

Let me be frank and direct and get this out first: I suck at Pickleball. =P

Eight of us, all first-timers. Four males and four females, just nice for two sets of mixed double. Regardless, whoever paired with me loses the game, haha.

I am guessing I am not used to the size of the paddle, always missing the ball. And yes I suck, but we already covered that.

Nevertheless I had fun, hope this will be a regular team event.

Expect to be aching all over tomorrow though, for I is weak. (Yes, that's on purpose.)

Other |enjoyable events| category entries.

怎么这么弱？

洗车一个小时半，过后会大腿和手臂肌肉酸痛，那我完全可以理解。

只有轻微的腰背酸痛我已经觉得非常庆幸，真的。

可是，为什么我会头晕、头疼不适了两天？

这是什么回事？

洗车是星期六起床后的事，结果就整个周末都是这糟糕的状况下度过。真是的。

我健康到底怎么了？怎么会这么弱？

心语细述 |系列|

有感而发：情感投入（又）

刚看完了韩国二零二四年播出，一个叫 Couple Palace （情侶宮殿）的恋爱综艺节目。

五十位女士和五十位男士寻求结婚伴侣的一个节目。经过不同的环节配对互相满意的伴侣，再逐渐看发展的程度开始计划结婚的过程和事项。

有越来越坚信的伴侣，也有成了伴侣但发现不合适或种种原因变回单身的男女。过程有很多令人心动的甜蜜，也有很多令人心疼的情节。情人老婆仔说是节目效果，我选择相信是真情流露。

为那对互相喜欢但女方父母反对的情侣感到心酸和遗憾。支持那些勇于表示的纯情直男，为他们的成功喝彩，也为他们的失败惋惜。

尊重那些最终勇敢求婚的男女，那些错了会自我反省勇于认错的男女，那些真的是为了寻求结婚伴侣而参加节目的男女。

而那些渣男渣女、那些自以为是、那些为了刷知名度、那些纯粹玩玩心态的男女… 我真的是不能理喻你们，完全不在一个频率上。

一大把年纪了我还是会被情感带入，看这恋爱综艺节目我的情感会跟着起伏。会跟着心动、会跟着开心雀跃、会心痛惋惜、会感动、会感伤、热泪盈眶。

也许那就是为什么我喜欢看恋爱综艺节目的原因吧？

〈 单身即地狱〉第四季开播了，虽然觉得这节目的出演者越来越像是为了知名度而参演，这仍会是我接下来看的恋综。

有感而发 |系列|

There is a first for everything

I have been working for seventeen years and more, and have dutifully paid my tax every year without exception.

Not that I have a choice really, as it is directly deducted from my salary every month, and always exceeding what I need to pay, so every year I have to claim the excess back. Every single year.

And of course, the government does not pay me interest for these extra-charged amount. Bet they charge us interest if we pay less. Also if I put the amount that I actually need to pay in investment or fixed deposit and only pay the correct one lump sum annually, not only do I not have to go through the process of claiming the excess back, I also get the benefit of extra income from investment or interest from fixed deposit. But no, my money is helping the government earn interest instead of for myself. Bollocks.

Anyway, as I am not in business of faking tax return, I have never been worried about being audited. In fact, colleague friends used to approach me for receipts when they get audited, because they know I actually have them.

Well, there is a first for everything, received an email a few days ago saying I am being audited for 2022 tax return. Interesting documents they wanted me to show them, instead of receipts for books, sports equipment, computer, medical check up, that sort of things that I diligently keep, they asked for life, medical, education insurance statements, pension fund statement, and travel related receipt.

Granted that particular year there was a special incentive for local travel, I claimed that since I did had a local vacation with the family, and yes I have the receipt.

However I don't have the insurance statements and my pension fund statement. The insurance company stopped sending paper statement a while back and forced me to create yet another login or download yet another application on mobile phone, which I refuse to do. I have way too many logins I can no longer keep up, I don't need another that I only use once per year that guarantee I will forget the login name and password of.

I know my insurance premium and EPF contribution every year exceed the tax return limit by a sizable margin so I assume everyone is the same, and that there is no reason for people to fake this and hence no reason for people to audit these. Guess I am wrong.

So ironically, of all things, the insurance and pension fund statements gave me the most trouble getting hold of, while the rest are readily available.

Anyway, just noting down the first audit of my tax return. Not at all worried, but don't care for the additional hassle. Every month you take extra of my money without giving me interest, and still you want to pester me.

Other |temperamental thoughts| category entries.

止损

二零二五年才过了十三天，我已经加时工作了七天，而且还是连续的七天。

加时工作天比不加时工作天还多，真的很无语。

这不是我想要的新的一年的形式。我要把加时工作量大幅度减少，我是真的希望今年的加时工作总数是两位数的。

我需要敢敢的放下、狠狠的放下，坚守准时下班，不加时工作。

想很容易，讲也不难，但真的要做到就…

唉～

加油吧，我自己！要及时止损，再这样下去今年又会失守了。

随兴随想 |系列|

If all goes smoothly

Whenever I have to commit a delivery date for thermal simulation results, it is already a second nature for me to state the date with "if all goes smoothly".

Those asking for a date almost always want the results sooner, and somehow believe that as long as they asked or a shorter delivery date, the thermal simulation will magically be completed faster.

This keeps happening regardless of how many times I state a realistic turnaround time, and that is with me already committing to an optimistic time frame assuming everything goes smoothly, without any major hiccup.

Of course I wish that everything would go smoothly, there would be no unexpected issue, and my thermal model and simulation would be perfect and needing only run once. I sincerely hope so, honestly I do, who wouldn't want smooth sailing and least amount of work?

But reality is that thermal simulation is seldom issue-free, things don't always go smoothly, and regardless of how many times you pushed for results, the time needed for simulation doesn't magically shorten.

Usually when a divergence occurs in simulation, I can resolve it within two debug revisions, often just needing one. And if I manage that, I can usually still meet my committed optimistic time frame.

Usually, not always. But people just ignore the "if all goes smoothly" part, demand results and pile on the pressure when things go badly.

Took me thirteen or fourteen debug revisions to get a model to run without divergence issue in my recent project, can really do without the constant demand for results while I was trying my best to make it work.

The original model has no problem whatsoever, it's the computing resource that is lacking. Ran out of memory instead of divergence issue with the original model, forcing me to reduce the mesh size, which led to the divergence issue.

It's liberating when I got a temporary access to a powerful computer to run my original model and it ran without a problem, giving the constantly-hounded for, heavily-demanded results. My work has no problem, thank you very much, just the computing resource I have to work with is not up to par. Give me the right tool!

Since it's only a temporary access to the super-computer, I have to lower the mesh size of my original model for it to work on the computing resource I normally have. Basically I have to make my perfectly working model into a lower quality coarser mesh version with lost of accuracy and lots of effort for the 'crappyfication' process.

Anyway, ya, been stressed by this ordeal recently, because things simply don't always go smoothly.

Other |temperamental thoughts| category entries.