2024 in numbers

2024 was to me, a year of survival and hanging on. 2024 started with the tail end of my second Covid-19 infection, my lung capacity is never the same after that. A quiet Chinese New Year as a show of respect to mommi. Adjusting to life without mommi, and remembering her in piecemeal moments.

2024 was full of tiredness, primarily the weariness of the mind, the heart, the emotion. Less than ideal sanctuary, often lacking in warmth, peace and harmony. Ever-present dust, dirt, grime, cobwebs. Frequent unfulfillment, discontentment, disappointment. Often felt like struggling alone. Exist to provide, give, sacrifice. Drained.

Anyway, here are the 2024 numbers:

125 blog entries. 11 entries per month except November, this is the 17th consecutive year I have done so. Truth is, the notion of breaking this number has popped up in my mind more than once this year, but somehow I still wrote those 11 entries every month...

43 days of commute to work recorded, which covered 1933.4 kilometres, giving an average of 45 kilometres per day.

8 petrol filling recorded. My six years old Civic is doing an average of 10.8 kilometre per litre of petrol. A significant drop of 2km/l from last year's average. Sign of deteriorated engine performance? =(

23 days of leave taken, of which there were 8 half-day leave and 19 full day leave. 3 days less compared to last year. =(

126 days of worked till overtime-worthy late. 1 day more than last year because I missed a day with the record in my mobile phone, of which I use as live tracking. So despite consciously stopping myself from working any more overtime once I reached 125 as shown in my phone's record, I had in reality already worked one day more when compared to the detail record in Excel. Clocked a total of 324 hours and 26 minutes, and the average overtime duration is 2 hours 34 minutes and 30 seconds. So even though I worked overtime 1 day more compared to last year, on average the overtime duration per day is 6 minutes less than last year's, that is good. Still, I need to get the overtime count to be a lot less.

Putting the overtime count into perspective: 52 weeks of 5 working days = 260 working days. Take away 17 public and replacement holidays, and take away 23 days of leave I had 220 working days. Out of the 220 days I worked overtime 126 days, that's 57.3%. Urgh... =(

0 days on business trip. =)

5 online tabletop gaming sessions held. Lackluster interest, guess it's just very low on others' priority list. We played 3 board games this year, one of which is a new game.

21 novels read, 18 new books and 3 reread. Managed to read one more book compared to last year, hehe. Average of 17.4 days for a book, slow. =/

0 patent filing. Failed. =(

47, 20, 17, 15, 4+1, 0 for my own reference.

Happy New Year dear blog viewer, wish you a wonderful 2025.

Other |hyped up heads up| category entries.

By association

I am a meeting thermal engineer, currently my main role is to attend endless meetings design cooling solution for laptops.

The team charter is to compete in the premium and creator laptop segments, so that's what my designs are primarily targeted at.

It's very satisfying when customer has the gut and the money to adopt wholesale the best design I came up with in terms of performance, but that rarely happens, only once so far if I remember correctly.

Majority of the time we have to compromise for various reasons, cost is one, and often also because customer simply does not dare to be the first or the early adopter, and prefers to stay with conservative design. The tried and tested route, I understand, but I also know that my designs are all simulated and backed with data, and the one who dares to try new things will be the one who sets the trend, the first to reap the benefit before the mass follow and copy.

Anyway, got sidetracked, not meant to post about that. =P

So, I design cooling solution for laptops, I don't buy or sell laptops. I am sure there are people who compare laptops spec, performance, value for money, that sort of things, but that's not what I do.

In fact, ever since I started having personal computer, it has always been desktop, I have not owned any personal laptop. So if you come to me asking about which laptop to buy, then I would direct you to do your research through Google, at least that's what I would do.

And no, I don't get free laptops. I wish so too, but unfortunately no.

Other |nutty nuts| category entries.

Long weekend

Taking annual leave tomorrow, Friday, so will have a three days long weekend.

Do not plan to work overtime, still trying my darndest to hold the line. Gotta stay strong.

Had a boring Christmas yesterday, no Lord of the Rings marathon or any movie watching with wifey, as wifey was busy with other things the whole day, no time for me. =( So I guess the highlight for me was the nap I took in the afternoon.

Don't foresee it will be any different this long weekend, besides the scheduled annual flu vaccination tomorrow and a family dinner with brother on Saturday.

Wifey and the kids are out still at the time of writing this, been out since noon. Good to be the things that made her priority list. I should be jealous.

Anyway, three days long weekend, yay...?

Other |hyped up heads up| category entries.

随想

年尾了，学校这星期是假期，两天后圣诞节，然后下周三是新年。

就是想说，这样的时候还真希望自己是和把圣诞节和新年看得很重的洋人工作，因为那样的话这两周就会很清静。

偏偏就不是，而是和那些还拼命在赶工的同事工作，没有年尾要休假，轻松充电的同事。他们只是给我额外两份模拟要求，和问我几时能给报告，就是暗示我赶快做好的意思。

我说我今晚（星期一）马上跑一个案件，然后明天（星期二）再过夜跑另一个，那么一切顺利的话星期四可以给报告。我也直接说星期三是圣诞节公假，我不打算工作。

我要死守今年不再加时工作，不然我就会超过去年的加时工作总数了。

真的嘞，年尾了，让人喘口气行不行？

随兴随想 |系列|

Arrived

Wifey's new car has arrived!

Happy wife = happy life. ^_^

Other |enjoyable events| category entries.

Hold!

After working overtime yesterday night until after midnight this morning, my overtime count has reached the same count as last year's.

Meaning I will definitely not have improved, as in, won't have successfully reduced the overtime count this year. That is one annual goal missed. =(

I still have a chance of being the same as last year, no improvement, but no degradation as well, provided I do not work any more overtime in the remaining of the year.

Slightly less than two weeks to go, but trust me when I say this is going to be tough.

Failed to reduce the overtime count, can at least maintain it and not make it an even bigger failure by exceeding the count.

So for the love of all things good and balanced, hold the line! Hold the horses! Hold and do not work any more overtime!

Stay strong, myself, do not give in to unrealistic demands, the pesky sense of responsibility, and the perfectionist within.

Just hold and don't work overtime for two weeks.

Other |wretched workaholic| category entries.

我想要

我想要，会妥善计划，不是每几天换一次方向的项目经理。

我想要，会做好分内工作，不是为了交货而交问题满满的货的同事。

我想要，和一点就通，不用重复又重复的精明同事一起工作。

我想要，不用加时工作到凌晨三点的工作。

我想要，不用我操心的、懂事的孩子。

我想要，脱离每天除了累，还是累的生活。

我想要，足够，不需要烦恼的经济能力和财产。

我想要，简单快乐的生活。

随兴随想 |系列|

Jump?

As my annual overtime working count creeps towards last year's count, I get more and more frustrated with every overtime I need to do.

My goal is to reduce that working overtime count every year, which I have managed to accomplish for previous two consecutive years.

However, given the trend and the amount of work I have currently, and the relentless requests for results and updates, it is very likely that I will surpass last year's count by the end of December. Meaning I will fail my goal and break my streak.

Absolutely not happy about it, because I honestly think that my overtime amount is just ridiculous and it really needs to be cut down by a lot. Ideally it should be somewhere around 20% of my total annual working days, that's working overtime one day per five working days week. I think I could live with 30%, but I am still struggling to get below 50%...

Company is at a low period now, many things that impact morale and drain confidence. With massive headcount reduction, those who are still with the company inevitably have to pick up the jobs that no longer have the headcount to support them. Even though the management said the job count would be trimmed, the proportion is just not in par with the headcount reduction.

Do more with less, of course they would say that. Reality is there are employees who are already working at maximum bandwidth and working overtime just to deliver, there is no more to give.

So I do not appreciate the unrealistic requests, they do not increase my output or turnaround because I am already at max, they only add to my backlog, frustration and stress level, which also builds up the discontent and dissatisfaction.

Imagine this is the state I am in when I was approached by offer from another company. It's like devil advocate, a temptation with perfect timing.

I won't deny that I do not like change, and what feels to me like starting over in another company is daunting for me. Some would call it afraid of stepping out of my comfort zone but I have always argued that there is nothing comfortable about my current job, it's stressful, it's challenging, it's relentless.

I do like the idea of working my whole career in the same company. Call me old school, I like being loyal. Of course loyalty gets us nothing, to the company we are all expendable, easily replaceable. Loyalty is not rewarded, but still, I like being loyal. Yes, I am a fool.

I guess I would take the plunge, like I did a few years back, when I have totally lost faith in the management, when I have given up with the management, when there is just no future staying with the department, group, or company.

But for now, I still want to believe the company can pull through, the management can understand there is no way for me to do two projects in parallel that have like nine projects worth of workload disguised within them.

And I am still too chicken shit to take the plunge and make the jump.

Other |sane side| category entries.

淡化

二零二四年最后一个月。其实还有三个星期左右的工作时间，但最迟两天后我已经需要交上年终报告。

三个星期是可以完成很多东西的，不过算了吧，我的心已淡。

每天重复的做足完整的正式工作时间，然后那非常不健康比率、过分频密的加时工作量。

累了。腻了。厌了。

挂一个项目的名下，推几个项目的工作量，用人不必本钱。

项目领导的计划能力就是那么差吗？没有一个项目是跟着计划走的，计划每几天改一次。要求我做热流模拟，模型还没有完成已经改了计划。从一个项目变成两个版本，那还算好，因为至少还是局部差异、大体相同的两个版本。但过后直接就把原本项目完全变质，变成不同的两个机型，其实就是两个新的项目…

要求我提供热流模拟报告，但需要建模型的数据却没有，就是随便丢些问题和错误满满的资讯给我做参考和依据。等我一一发现那些问题和错误他们才来修改，就是等我替他们做他们应该做的事啦。就是让我跑在最前面，开了头他们才用我的数据来做参考和依据，然后他们做好了就要我重做我的模型和模拟。

我没有那个等别人做妥了我才做的命，而是那个命贱需要不停重做来减少别人工作量的廉价劳工，唉…

真的，没劲了、没动力了、心淡了。这工，唉～

心语细述 |系列|

Pain (2)

The back pain is getting a lot better, almost can't feel the pain anymore, but of course I am still being careful with my posture and movement.

But then not sure what higher force decided that my life has to be painful, so the disabling headache hit me today, shortly after lunch.

It was a struggled to keep working, and immediately after work hours I hit the bed and stayed zombie-like until about two hours later.

After a late dinner it was slightly better, but now it's coming back. So soon I will back to be zombie-like.

Interestingly it has always been behind the left eye, where I feel the pain propagates from, but today for the first time that I can recall, the pain started from behind the right eye.

Anyway, it's one pain after another. Such sad and woeful life.

Other |temperamental thoughts| category entries.

Pain

I have history of back pain, I don't know which one came first, or was the cause, but the two triggers that I am aware of are: (1) standing long hours, (2) badminton.

My days of standing long hours in the production floor are a distant memory now. Actually, my days of playing badminton regularly also feel like a distant memory now, but I think they are just slightly more recent compared to long hours in the production floor.

Anyhow, since both of those are distant memories now, I have been free from back pain for a blessedly long time. Until three nights ago, that is.

Honestly do not know what caused it this time, it happened on Saturday night, when I was reading in my bed just before sleep.

I read in my bed before I go to sleep every night, propped up against the headboard with pillows supporting the back. So it came as a nasty surprise when I felt the sharp pain of the familiar back pain when I wanted to change my position.

Back pain, just like that. Followed thus far by three low quality sleep nights no thanks to painful turning, and three irritable days of painful posture change especially turning upper body to the left and the dreadful standing up from sitting position.

Getting a back pain just like that is veli de meh, this is absolute bollocks!

Other |temperamental thoughts| category entries.