有感而发：无爱·无暧·有爱

无爱（一）

二零一三年七月九日。

最近，我不开心，低落了好一阵子。

那么灰，那么死气沉沉的我，应该很明显不太对劲吧？

只是，怎么同事朋友中没有一个有爱的？

我想我会被朋友的一句“你看起来不开心，你怎么了？”而感动。

无爱（二）

二零一三年八月八日。

老婆仔午间送短讯说不回来吃午餐了，不知几点才会回来？

就是要我午餐吃自己的意思啦！假期了都还要自己一人进餐，真是「阴公」。 =(

无爱（三）

二零一三年十月二十七日。

忘了自己在家里的地位。

今天，失望气愤的供给者暴走。

没有爱，只是责任。

*****

无暧

二零一三年十月七日。

肚饿的我是没有活力的，是不悦的，是满脑子都只是想着吃的。

所以我明白其他朋友想吃些东西才打球的意愿和感受。

但是齁，原来和也是肚子饿的异性朋友分享玉米饼和巧克力是很暧昧的…

我不明白为什么，只是今天有人这样讲我咯。

0_o

*****

有爱（一）

二零一三年八月二十八日。

简单的资讯分享，让我有机会买到便宜的月饼给爱吃月饼的老婆仔。

叫人雀跃的是那主动的分享，和那坦然的短短对话。

开心，因为那是亲切友善的举止。

下班前她经过我办公室的那甜美微笑，真舒服好看。

我好像… 有被电到的感觉。 ^_^

每个人都可以这样微笑对人，世界一定会更美好！

有爱（二）

二零一三年十一月二十九日。

这次的忧郁症期应该是过了吧？

开始又有能力和心思去关心别人。

比较喜欢这样的我。

发现，关怀别人是一个让自己忘了自己的忧郁的好办法。

只是，自己先需要有那个能力，和心中先要再燃起那火焰，那动力。

感谢那些在我黯然低落期间容纳我的同事朋友，让我就那样在我自己的洞穴里默默跟随着。

更要感谢那些送上关怀问候的朋友。

我总是淡淡带过，毕竟也不是三言两语就可以释怀的事。

况且交情要够深才会愿意不顾时间、忙碌，坐下来倾谈的呱？

这世界，就是要有更多的关爱。

有感而发 |系列|

Random Thoughts

- 9th Anniversary -

Thank you my dearest wifey, for accepting me as I am, and for being who you are.

Happy 9th anniversary! Love you lots!

Here's for standing by and holding each other for the many more years to come.

Cheers!

-----

- Container magnet -

Thanks to the change in departmental lucky draw concept in recent years, which tries to give more consolation prizes to cover 85% or more of the employee, I finally got to win something.

Best lucky draw prize won in my entire life so far: wireless mouse.

-_-

And as luck (or lack of) would have it, of all those variety of consolation prizes, I seem to attract the food container.

this is 2011 annual dinner's

this is 2013 annual dinner's

On a slightly funny note, it happened that on both 2011 and 2013 annual dinners, the top prize was an Ultrabook, which I told my wifey I would give her if I won.

So both years I gave her the containers, calling them the Ultrabook. =P

-----

- 10km -

It started as wanting to set foot on the second bridge, which led me to feel being cheated when they announced the Penang Bridge International Marathon would still be run on the first bridge this year.

I have already set foot on the first bridge, thank you very much, pfft!

Oh well, I never run a marathon anyway, was on first aid duty on prior bridge marathons so I guess it's still something.

As it turned out, I almost couldn't make it. First was the back pain that plagued me for days before the marathon, but it healed just in time.

Then the younger son got hospitalised the night before the marathon, the havoc it caused threw my resting plan out of the window and stressed me enough to trigger the IBS.

I ended up with less than an hour of closed eyes but I went for the run anyway.

My 10km run was pretty much constant dodging of other runners and walkers. There were many, MANY participants.

Anyway, I did it, my first bridge run, don't really consider it a marathon since it's only 10km.

Am glad all the trainings have not been for nothing, though honestly I felt rather neutral having completed 10km in the time limit.

Don't think it's something worth being proud of.

-----

- Homemade birthday card, v3 -

The not so slacker and not so bestest month saw the beginning of a new version of homemade birthday cards.

Still tiny, still el-cheapo, but now they come in two layers and with glistering ink to pretend to be posh and bling bling. =P

Oh well, still something money can't buy and genuinely full of 'heart'.

-----

- Stress! -

Just want to show this really, as a representation of my recent state:

Those who are faithful Running Man fans should get it, else just take it as I am under stress nowadays and sorry if I seemed unsmiling, super antisocial and extra grumpy.

愚人玩笑成真

月头，同事朋友为我和另一位十一月诞生的朋友在 K 房搞了个生日庆祝。

虽然那天我开始病了，但我是感激的，开心的。

朋友的那份心意，心领了，谢谢你们。

那天，也再次证实了我在聚光灯下是非常不自在的，是腼腆的。

更叫我难为情的，是朋友把我愚人节的玩笑来搞个更大的玩笑，他们竟然做了个专辑出来！

这…

…要玩到这样大咩？

看到自己愚人节的玩笑成真，心里是暗爽下的（嘻嘻～），但比较多的是难为情，觉得好羞哦！

当然也不是真的专辑啦，是朋友在屡次唱 K 时偷录音下的片段的合成。

竟然有录音到多数列名的歌曲哦，虽然次序有点乱。

当然多数的歌曲不是我独唱，而是大家合唱的，毕竟是大伙去唱 K 嘛。

我觉得最搞笑的是在那专辑里的最后一首歌，不但是没有在歌曲列名表里，还是由女性朋友唱的嘞。我的人妖音也没有这么厉害呱？

=P

最珍贵的，当然是那份心意。真的，谢谢你们。

一直想要写这篇文章，但心理状况和情绪一直都不妥当。

月头开始病倒了，病了十多天才复原又弄伤了背，这两天坐着，站着，躺着都不安。近期忧郁症又来侵扰了，心理状况不太好。

这篇文章应该是快乐的，开心的，不想要自己的心理和情绪把它搞砸了。

又，

老婆仔听了专辑后对我说：

“看来你都是不会成为歌星的。”

哈哈！最真最直接的就是你了，我的老婆仔！

随兴随想 |系列|

November...

- happy birthday -

Missed my annual birthday wish to this blog, so here it is:

Happy 6th birthday Scribble Pad!

Sorry for the belated wish since I was out cold during the actual day. Well, actually I was out for many days before and after the actual day but let me get to that later.

First thing first, continuing the custom, here are the number of viewers based on the counter, as of 19:37 hours on 4th November 2013:

2008: 4746

2009: 13300

2010: 23226

2011: 31677

2012: 37412

2013: 42469

Basically, I am getting fewer and fewer viewer over the years, oh well.

-----

- slacker month -

November, the slacker month, the bestest month.

At least, that's what I have been harping on all these years.

But this year, I honestly can't say that without lying to myself.

If the way November started for me this year is of any indication, then this month is anything but the bestest.

I will continue to slack in the form of only writing four entries this month instead of the usual eleven for other months, but that's probably the only slacking I can do this month.

Slacker month my arse.

-----

- hello bed -

Took annual leave on the first of this month to get a five days break thanks to weekend and the festival holidays.

Fell sick as soon as the break started, and was bedbound for the majority of that five days.

The little monsters, also having long weekend, made sure I didn't get the rest I needed to recover.

So much for having a nice and rejuvenating break, I ended the break weaker and in worse condition than before the break.

In fact, I am still sick as the time of writing this.

Life... sucks.

-----

- hello cave -

Work wise, as the heat turned on on the new product, the shit hit the fan.

Functioning in the job role I am ill-suited for and deeply despised does not disappoint in terms of the frustration and stress it's giving me.

Bollocks.

To make matter worse, I am getting stressed on the family front as well.

Every week since late October, there would be incident that made me feel isolated from the rest of the family.

Stressed on both fronts, depression hit.

I am no stranger to depression. I don't like it, but I am not ashamed of admitting I suffer from this psychological illness.

So hello cave... been a while, how long will this time be?