有感而发：感伤

二零一六年四月二十六日。

她说，她要离开公司了。

就是借这次公司大裁员行动，省解释的麻烦。

有没有遣散配套她都不在乎。

问她工作得不开心吗？

她说是为了妈妈，为了老公。

她是心地善良的女孩，总会替别人着想。

当然，我是绝对不会在她面前这样讲的，毕竟她也是个疯疯癫癫的丫头。

我由衷希望，她的决定也是为了她自己。

和她都不知道算是怎样的朋友…

好，但感觉上又好像不是很好。

可能是年纪上的差距吧？有代沟？

虽然和她在一起感觉很轻松自然，但觉得不会是坐下来谈心那样的朋友。

嗯，是淘气的小妹妹，这样的感觉。

想想若我没被裁掉，而以后不会在公司见到这开心果了，顿时感伤。

公司里又少了一位朋友，唉…

希望还会保持联络，还会是见面不陌生的朋友啦。

有感而发 |系列|

Time out

Tired.

Just tired.

Of everything.

Don't want to care about anything now.

Just let me rest.

Need some quiet time. Alone time. Recharge time.

Quality time out.

Other |temperamental thoughts| category entries.

Random behaviour for June 2016

Succeeded in my May's impromptu resolution. I kept my facial hair as a symbolic defiance for the whole month, but while I succeeded, I didn't really feel good, because the aftermath of the tremor is going to be felt in a few days and then it's very likely there will be a second wave.

So there's nothing to feel good about, sigh...

Perhaps I will redo the resolution again when the second wave comes.

But anyway, for June 2016, starting after I post this, my impromptu resolution is: to include a link to other blog entries of the same category in every blog entry. 

Because I can.

Other |flickering fling| category entries.

  

Old games

Recently, with the discovering of D-Fend Reloaded, I have been playing some old DOS games. Classic games.

There are some games that I didn't manage to complete when I was a lot younger, like, when I was 20 to 30 years younger. And there are games that I have completed but simply feel like playing again out of nostalgia.

Times of Lore got the honour as the first game I played using D-Fend Reloaded. It's a game that I didn't manage to complete previously. With the help of walkthrough from the internet, I finally finished the game. I don't think I will ever figure out the game on my own.

The other game I wasn't able to complete in my youth is Xenon 2 Megablast. Since I still suck big time in this type of game, I had to resort to using cheat to finish the game. Not proud of it, but I am glad I got these two games out of my system, after so many years.

Xenon 2 Megablast

Then I indulged myself with a trip down the memory lane playing Lode Runner. I solved all 150 levels all those years ago, I solved them again recently. This is a game I am letting the little monsters play, since it's children friendly and it's puzzle solving. A fun way to develop their problem solving skill.

Lode Runenr

The elder son was talking about Donkey Kong, I think because his schoolmates were harping about it after the Pixels movie. It's not a game that I like but I got it anyway, for the kids when they completed Lode Runner. =)

Donkey Kong

Then I tried Street Fighter II, another game that I suck at. Nothing has changed, I still suck big time and it's just not fun playing with keyboard instead of joystick, so I moved on.

The latest game that I played is the Bomberman, or Dyna Blaster. There are so many versions of this game, the one I just completed has eight main levels with about seven sub-levels each.

Bomberman

There are a few more games that I like to play again after all these years: Digger, I remember I was fairly good at this game; The Ancient Art of War; Super Mario Bros; Raiden...

So many games, so little time! =P

Work/Life

There were several occasions recently when my current attitude towards work was brought up, almost always in response to some colleague friend's complaint or whine.

To me, their complaints and whines have a simple solution: a change in their attitude towards work.

But of course, most people are not looking for solution when they complain, they just want sympathetic listener who acknowledges and validates their feelings and emotions. I understand, empathy is one of my strengths, I can be a good listener if I wanted to.

Though I would rather they resolve their issue so they can be happier. Why wouldn't they want to be happier?

You see, work does not come first for me nowadays, it's all about my well-being.

The work can wait, the company will go on with or without us. Unless some of you have become so very important, but then even the CEO can be replaced and the company will go on, so...

Don't get me wrong, I still believe in doing our very best, or don't do it at all. I am a perfectionist after all. =P

I just no longer want to sacrifice my well-being for work. My lunch has higher priority than work, my sleep has higher priority than work, my exercise has higher priority than work. And no thank you, I won't be working my arse off just to satisfy an irrational whim or unreasonable demand.

Doing the occasional overtime is fine, as sometimes shit happens. But if you are doing overtime more regularly than normal work hours, then something is seriously wrong and you should resolve it. Unless, you actually like it so, or believe it's a sign of your importance, then more power to you, and why complain?

We are easily replaceable, the company will go on with or without us, the company cares not for your loyalty... all these and much more, I know, and I probably said them many times. Though they became 'real' after the deaths in the workplace, the bedbound new year illness, the ruthlessness of the headcount reduction drive...

So yea, my attitude towards work has changed. I am not saying this is right for everyone, I simply believe it's right for me, for now.

Me above work, as the company can ditch me whenever, that I cannot control, but I can take control of my well-being.

Be nice to yourself, because the company sure doesn't.

  

心的频道：夜深人静

夜深人静。

累，但不睏。

心灵的累。

忧郁症上周末又来访，感觉上好像才刚刚从一期好过来，唉…

一整天没有精神，全身乏力，低能量。

开心不起来，什么事都提不起劲。

又坐立不安。

胸口发闷，有那呼吸困难的感觉。

告诉自己我没事，这全是心理作祟。

但就算知道是忧郁症的症状也好，那低落怠倦的乏力感依旧。

感觉，是真的。

很想有人可以明白，可以在乎，可以让我好过点，但我也不知道别人可以做些什么。

所以我，在夜深人静时，随兴写写。

因为写出来了，也是一种纾解。

心的频道 |系列|

Backlogs #13

This one is dated 14th of November 2013, it's titled "penguins everywhere in China".

Auto-correct is the source of many jokes, laughter, and embarrassments.

So yea, penguins everywhere in China! =P

In this series: |1| |2| |3| |4| |5| |6| |7| |8| |9| |10| |11| |12|