破功

还真的以为，会成功坚持一整个月都没有加时工作。

结果在一月的最后一天（星期六）破防，已经加时工作了六小时半，今晚可能还要继续。

就因为星期四那会议里，那位经理的一个热流模拟要求。报告下星期三要，不然就已经迟了。他是那样说啦…

问题是，我还在更新基准的热流模型，应该还需要一个星期才会完成。所以是等不到这新版本了，但用旧版本的模型又跟实物有很多差异，有缺精准度。进退两难的处境。

还有就是星期五我拿了假，几乎一整天在医院里耗费掉。原本以为还会有些时间可以（加时）工作，但精神也被弄得恍恍惚惚，所以就那样浪费了一天。

来着的星期一是大宝森节的补假，所以不加时工作的话，我只有星期二一天来完成那不可能的任务。

我不是神仙，也不是超人，只是个平凡无奇的普通人，所以我唯有加时工作。还是那种就算我加时工作也不一定能够及时交报告的情况。

唉～

真是命贱。

心语细述 |系列|

Meaningless system, part four

Another week, another visit to the hospital. Second appointment with the nephrologist (kidney specialist), and new referred appointment with the ophthalmologist (eye specialist).

Arrived by 08:00 hours for the blood test, which went smoothly all considering, got delayed at the registration part but the lab part was smooth. Thumbs up to the lab people.

Done within 30 minutes, including the surprised urine sample request, which I wasn't awared of until then. Gave them what my bladder could produced then, not a lot but they didn't called me back so I guess it's sufficient.

Went straight to the nephrology clinic, the nurse took my weight and blood pressure and told me in a nice way to bugger off. The appointment with the nephrologist was scheduled for 10:40 hours.

So I went out to breakfast. Oh, I walked to the hospital in the morning, and walked back home when I was finally done. Everywhere else in between that was also walked, for a total of 1 hour and 47 minutes split between six walking sessions.

Took 15 minutes to walk to breakfast and 15 minutes back to hospital, still more than an hour until the appointment with nephrologist so I went to the ophthalmology clinic first, see if I could get lucky and get that appointment done first.

No luck, the appointment was at 11:00 hours. I told them I had a 10:40 hours appointment with the nephrologist so most likely I would be late. They smiled, they know. Well, at least I prompted them to sort out the medical insurance thing, which strangely was issued for yesterday instead of today, so not totally a waste of effort.

Went back to the nephrology clinic and took out my novel to pass time, slightly more than one hour to kill. If the consultation was on time, that is, which it wasn't. No surprise there, and no prize for guessing if it was earlier or later than the appointment time.

The nurse called me 37 minutes after the appointment time. Took 6 minutes for the consultation, basically being told my blood test showed same results as the one done in December, and still need to wait a few days for the other test results. So another appointment was scheduled in late February and none the wiser on what's wrong with my kidneys.

So naturally I was late for the 11:00 hours appointment with the ophthalmologist. The consultation happened at 12:24 hours, but if we take away the time delayed by the nephrologist, then really it's "just" 41 minutes late.

The ophthalmologist said maybe it's the spectacles, or maybe dry eyes. Advised me to make a new pair of spectacles and gave me some eye drops, and said to go back early March. So another appointment. Looks like I still have to visit the hospital on weekly basis end of February and beginning of March.

I went straight to the optometrist to get a new pair of spectacles made. They tried to sell me two pairs, one multifocal for distance, intermediate and near, the other an office glasses for intermediate and near. I resisted and said I only need one, the office glasses. Already cost me an arm for that, I don't need to lose both arm and leg.

After all that is done, went for a late lunch and by the time I reached home, it's already 15:25 hours. That's another leave gone.

Other |runaway rants| category entries.

随兴随想

一转眼一月只剩一个星期。时间都去哪儿了？

-----

原本是中文的故事，我竟然用英文写了个前序的开头。

故事情节一点一滴的浮现脑海里，需要好好整理时间点和怎么相互连接。

已经想成是三部曲的大纲是不是有点可笑？毕竟连一个篇章都没有完成，就只有那些片片段段的情节。

-----

还不会赚钱养活自己的孩子，花钱倒是很豪爽。

还是诸多抱怨、感恩有缺。

-----

期待不用每星期去一次医院的日子到来。

随兴随想 |系列|

让我 emo 一下

又有一位同事辞职了，两个星期后离开。

感伤。无奈。

是团队里最开朗友善的人，也是位可靠能干的同事。当然最叫人羡慕妒忌的是他有吃不肥的绝世好运（或基因）。

团队越来越小了，唉…

就是觉得忧伤、不舍、遗憾。

唉，有时还真的希望自己不要这么感性，情感不要那么细腻，感受不要那么深刻。

好累人。

心语细述 |系列|

Meaningless system, part three

Yes, another follow up, exactly one week after the previous. Neurologist wanted a MRI scan, and when I left last Monday, the nurse told me they will inform me of the MRI date once they have made the booking.

Well, true to their word, they told me the date for the MRI scan alright, as they called me at 11:30 hours today to inform me that the MRI is at 14:00 hours today. Yes, a 2.5 hours notice before the appointment. What a "fantastic" system that is.

The nurse said they sent me SMS last Friday, which strangely I did not received. Let's just give them the benefit of doubt.

Good thing there wasn't any critical meeting this afternoon, so I scrambled to inform manager that I needed the second half off. After a not so leisure, somewhat rushed lunch, wifey dropped me off at the hospital. By the time I finished the self registration and reached the appropriate part of the hospital, it's 14:02 hours.

The next serving of the "fantastic" system was when the nurse at the MRI place told me that the MRI scan was booked for 15:30 hours. When I told her the nurse who called me earlier said it's 14:00 hours, she asked me to wait and got on the phone to that nurse.

After their conversation, the nurse at MRI told me nope, the MRI booking was at 15:30 hours, asked if I had lunch, hinting me to go do something else and come back later. I told her I already had lunch, didn't said it's somewhat rushed because I wanted to arrive by 14:00 hours, and told her I would just wait there. She said if any of the prior bookings freed up, they would slot me in. I thanked her and found a corner and took out my novel.

15:30 hours appointment but asked me to be there by 14:00 hours, wasting 1.5 hours of my time. Such "fantastic" system!

Not sure if someone really cancelled his or her appointment, or the unfortunate person just got his or her time slot given to me and made to wait (common theme in the "fantastic" system), but they got me on the 15:00 hours slot. One hour after the fake MRI time slot but 30 minutes before the real MRI time slot.

First MRI scan in my life. It's loud, noisy and uncomfortable. I tried my best to stay absolutely still for the entire 20+ minutes. I think I did okay, since the neurologist showed some pretty sharp cut-plane images of my brain when I eventually saw him later in the day.

I moved from the MRI place to the neurologist place and sorted out yet another registration by 15:29 hours. Then another time wasting wait commenced. Honestly I thought of bringing another novel with me before I left home, seeing that I am close to finishing the novel I am currently reading, but I didn't, naively thinking they can't always be that bad.

Well, unfortunately, they sure can. I checked the screen after the 15:29 hours registration, it showed no number in the queue to see the neurologist. So I had to be next, right? I asked, twice, to two different nurses, once at registration, and the other when they called me for blood pressure and weight measurement about 15 minutes after registration, whether the neurologist was already in, and both of them confirmed that he already was.

Fine, I figured the neurologist must be waiting for the MRI scan results. Must be some really gigantic file size coupled with slow computer and slow network connection, that sort of thing. I guess not all institution has the computing and network resource that can transfer 100GB file across the globe in 15 minutes, which I think is already not fast enough with technology nowadays. So ya, must be that.

I finally get to see the neurologist at 16:52 hours, which is strangely similar to the 1.5 hours 'waste of my life' time period earlier in the day. Makes me wonder if the "fantastic" system has this 1.5 hours buffer to the actual appointment time? Hmm...

Anyway, done with the consultation in 4 minutes. The good news is that there's nothing wrong with my MRI scan results, thank goodness. The bad news is that the neurologist hasn't a clue regarding the cause of my headache, so he is referring me to the ophthalmologist next...

Not sure if I am being referred from one to another and undergoing different tests and diagnostics because I am claiming company's medical insurance, but goodness know I am glad I have that medical insurance. I really don't want to know the amount of the medical bill, and it's not even over yet.

I do know I am visiting the hospital on a weekly basis, next appointment is Friday next week, and every singe time my precious time is being wasted away.

Pfft!

Other |runaway rants| category entries.

- Prelude -

Copyright © 2026 Chin Kung GOH. All rights reserved.
Currently untitled. Edition: 0. Revision: 1. Sequence reference: 0.1.

This is a work of fiction. Unless otherwise indicated, all the names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents in this book are either the product of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.
-----

So it's real and not just a saying, that life flashes before our eyes before our imminent death.

That was what happened to me as I was thrown out of the car, through the shattered windscreen, over the side of the bridge, and falling towards the dark water below.

My entire life flashed before me in minute details and sharp clarity, in reverse order, going backward from the most recent incident of that reckless BMW ramming into my car, to that devastating discovery of the betrayal, to the deteriorating relationship and the many episodes of fights, to all those wonderful moments when we were each other's whole world, to meeting her the very first time... The graduation, the schooling years, the childhood, the warmth of mother's embrace, my first breath and first cry announcing my arrival to the world.

A whole lifetime in that few seconds for me to fall that thirty metres, heading straight to a collision with the sea that would break my bones.

Other |fictitious fiction| category entries.

又一周

五个工作天就这样过去了。应该说是四个半工作天，毕竟拿了半天假去看医生。

我原本还真的是打算看完医生，如果还是正常工作时间内，就继续做点工的。太天真了，那不守时的医生把我整个下午都浪费掉了，回到家已经是傍晚六点多。

在新办公楼建好前，因为办公位不足，每周只需去公司一天。偏偏这星期去了三天，决非我愿。

要知道没有合适的设置，至少两个萤幕，要建热流模型是很低效率的。那些共用的办公室，就没有合适的设置，所以现价段我去公司上班，反而是比家里上班还低效率的。

两天去公司是为了处理被 IT 搞砸，但还是要给钱他们修复的电脑。真的不知道这是什么歪理，根本就是欺诈咯。而且明明就是十分钟可以解决的事，非要复杂化、拖延，害我要分开去两天。每次都给他们耗费掉整个早上，那样就浪费了我两个半天，加起来就是一整个工作天的时间。

有交通拥堵敏感症的我，每次去公司都是早上七点（或之前）就到公司的。但那些 IT 的同事，就不能正常上班时间八点，或八点到九点之间就来解决我电脑的问题的，非要十点多十一点才肯应酬我。

第三个需要去公司的天，是为了那要面对面的大会议。整整半天的大会议。

这星期也这么巧有两个都不知道该叫庆功宴还是慰劳餐的聚餐。一个是经理自费请的，另一个则是大会议后公司请的。是那种两个小时左右的聚餐，所以加上来回车程又半个工作天不见了。

半天被医生浪费了，一天被 IT 的同事浪费了，半天大会议，半天聚餐，就这样五个工作天就只剩下两天半…

我可有工作要做、报告要交的啊！

真的被搞得很烦躁。>_<

随兴随想 |系列|

Meaningless system, part deux

Took half day leave today, for another follow up appointment after the medical check up back in December, to consult a specialist. A neurologist this time.

Yes, so many things wrong with me. So weak. =(

The appointment was made in December, for 15:30 hours today. Being a time conscious person, naturally I arrived well before the appointment time. After the registration and sorting out the guarantee letter, I got sent to the clinic, only to have the nurses chatting and doing nothing there turned me back to the waiting area.

Well, I was early and it's not the appointment time yet. Fair, I will wait even though all three of them were doing nothing.

So I took out my novel and started reading. About 15 minutes after the appointment time, I was called to get my weight and blood pressure measured. Then asked to wait some more.

So I waited. And waited. And waited some more.

See, they gave me a slip with a number, and they have that screen showing the doctor's waiting list. About 1.5 hours after my appointment time I started checking the screen, and noticed that it showed the number before mine was with the doctor, so I should be next.

At ten minutes to 17:30 hours I went to ask the nurses whether the doctor was in, and that I have been waiting for close to two hours. They said the doctor was in, but arrived late. The doctor only works there on Monday and Thursday afternoon.

Eventually at 17:31 hours, two hours and one minute after my appointment time, the doctor was finally ready to see me. Really, no thanks for wasting my time.

The consultation took about 6 minutes. I am absolutely fine with that, no need to waste time, as it's the same deal with my previous visit to the nephrologist, who basically said "I am not sure, let's do another blood test", while this time the neurologist said "I am not sure, let's do a MRI".

Nothing wrong with needing more information for proper diagnostic. The thing that's really broken is the appointment system, or the doctor who cannot follow the appointment system, having no respect for other people's time.

Pfft!

Other |runaway rants| category entries.

Bad day

There are good days, and there are bad days.

Today, it's definitely a bad day.

At least in regards to work. Actually, besides work too.

Super inefficient, and what an exhausted mind.

Got very little done, and frustrated because of that. Contemplating whether I have to work overtime this weekend. That would be the first OT for 2026 if it happened.

So tired. Hit the bed after I ended the work day. The nap didn't really help, still tired now.

Doesn't seem like being able to do anything, to get anything done.

Other |temperamental thoughts| category entries.

收心·养生

健康检查报告没有想象中那么糟糕，但也不是很好。还要见几位不同的医生，所以有待接续。

跨年的四天长周末，不算真的休息到，但就突然有了个觉悟:长周末过完，就要好好收心，新的一年要有个好的开始。

还有就是今年要好好养生。当然和刚做完的健康检查有关联，但其实也不完全是因为它，就是不喜欢自己健康状况不佳这么久了。厌倦了自己这状况，要改变它。

开始每天监测血压。当网上订购的、医生推荐的维生素补充到了后，就会开始常年服用。要好好看待那睡眠质量的问题，还有就是要多点快走。

也有那进一步反社交的想法，没有什么特别原因，就是感觉人类很累人。养生就该远离这些烦恼，不是吗？

希望不是只是个五分钟热度的新年计划啦…

心语细述 |系列|

Meaningless system

Took leave today, primarily for a follow up appointment after the medical check up, to consult a specialist (nephrologist) on some kidney related indicators.

Learned a new word: nephrology - the branch of medicine that deals with the function and diseases of the kidneys.

Anyway, my appointment was 10:40 hours, I was just thinking that's rather specific, else it would probably be something like 10:30 hours. But since I was told I would need to self-register using kiosk prior to the appointment, I reached the hospital at 10:10 hours so I have ample time to do this, something that I am not familiar with.

Okay, the kiosk information is not very clear, I got a ticket with a number and on the ticket it listed two next stations: (1) registration counter; (2) clinic. So I waited at the registration area wondering why asked us to self-register if we need to approach the registration counter anyway?

After a few minutes with my number not being called while others who came after me were being called, I went ahead and asked a helper around the kiosk what I should do after the self-registration? He told me I should go to the clinic and hand over the ticket to the nurse at the clinic counter.

Well, maybe I am just too thick to understand the instruction on the ticket, they should make the information on the ticket foolproof because there might well be other people like me.

I got to the clinic and handed over my ticket, and typically, they asked me to be seated and wait to be called. It's like a ritual they have to follow even though the nurses were not doing anything other than chatting with each other.

Fine, maybe they needed to pull up my medical history, key in some information, print some stuff, or something that needs many long minutes. I went prepared anyway, I took a seat, took out my novel and started reading to pass time. The nurse called me after a while to take my weight and blood pressure.

What I wasn't prepared for though, was that at 10:35 hours, the door to the nephrologist I was there to see opened, the nephrologist came out of the room, there was no one else in the room, meaning the nephrologist wasn't seeing any patient, and he told the nurses that he was going to the ward then.

WTF? If you are going to do your ward round at that time period, why do you schedule my appointment at that time? And not just mine, because more and more patients came after he left. Granted, not all those patients were there to see him, some, the lucky ones, were there to see the female doctor next door to him, and that female doctor was seeing her patients one after another at that time period so all good and well for them.

Not so lucky for the rest of us under that male nephrologist, our times meant nothing to him it seems, scheduling us at his ward round time, just for us to wait. Meaningless waste of time.

I asked the nurse how long do I have to wait, how long usually is the nephrologist's ward round? I was told it's usually about 30 minutes. Fine, I can live with that.

Only it's not 30 minutes, at least it wasn't today, the nephrologist returned from his ward round at 11:55 hours, 1 hour and 15 minutes after my scheduled appointment. There was another patient before me, it was quick though, I was finally called to see the doctor at 11:59 hours.

No thank you for wasting my time like this. Why bother with the appointment system if you were not going to adhere to it anyway? Is it a doctor's thing to not respect other people's time? We have better things to do as well, you know?

Well, to be fair it's not the appointment system that's broken, as the female doctor shows. It's the person choosing not to follow it that made it useless and meaningless.

Other |runaway rants| category entries.