25 January 2026

随兴随想


一转眼一月只剩一个星期。时间都去哪儿了?

-----

原本是中文的故事,我竟然用英文写了个前序的开头。

故事情节一点一滴的浮现脑海里,需要好好整理时间点和怎么相互连接。

已经想成是三部曲的大纲是不是有点可笑?毕竟连一个篇章都没有完成,就只有那些片片段段的情节。

-----

还不会赚钱养活自己的孩子花钱倒是很豪爽。

还是诸多抱怨、感恩有缺。

-----

期待不用每星期去一次医院的日子到来。



随兴随想 |系列|


22 January 2026

让我 emo 一下


又有一位同事辞职了,两个星期后离开。

感伤。无奈。

是团队里最开朗友善的人,也是位可靠能干的同事。当然最叫人羡慕妒忌的是他有吃不肥的绝世好运(或基因)。

团队越来越小了,唉…

就是觉得忧伤、不舍、遗憾。

唉,有时还真的希望自己不要这么感性,情感不要那么细腻,感受不要那么深刻。

好累人。



心语细述 |系列|


19 January 2026

Meaningless system, part three


Yes, another follow up, exactly one week after the previous. Neurologist wanted a MRI scan, and when I left last Monday, the nurse told me they will inform me of the MRI date once they have made the booking.

Well, true to their word, they told me the date for the MRI scan alright, as they called me at 11:30 hours today to inform me that the MRI is at 14:00 hours today. Yes, a 2.5 hours notice before the appointment. What a "fantastic" system that is.

The nurse said they sent me SMS last Friday, which strangely I did not received. Let's just give them the benefit of doubt.

Good thing there wasn't any critical meeting this afternoon, so I scrambled to inform manager that I needed the second half off. After a not so leisure, somewhat rushed lunch, wifey dropped me off at the hospital. By the time I finished the self registration and reached the appropriate part of the hospital, it's 14:02 hours.

The next serving of the "fantastic" system was when the nurse at the MRI place told me that the MRI scan was booked for 15:30 hours. When I told her the nurse who called me earlier said it's 14:00 hours, she asked me to wait and got on the phone to that nurse.

After their conversation, the nurse at MRI told me nope, the MRI booking was at 15:30 hours, asked if I had lunch, hinting me to go do something else and come back later. I told her I already had lunch, didn't said it's somewhat rushed because I wanted to arrive by 14:00 hours, and told her I would just wait there. She said if any of the prior bookings freed up, they would slot me in. I thanked her and found a corner and took out my novel.

15:30 hours appointment but asked me to be there by 14:00 hours, wasting 1.5 hours of my time. Such "fantastic" system!

Not sure if someone really cancelled his or her appointment, or the unfortunate person just got his or her time slot given to me and made to wait (common theme in the "fantastic" system), but they got me on the 15:00 hours slot. One hour after the fake MRI time slot but 30 minutes before the real MRI time slot.

First MRI scan in my life. It's loud, noisy and uncomfortable. I tried my best to stay absolutely still for the entire 20+ minutes. I think I did okay, since the neurologist showed some pretty sharp cut-plane images of my brain when I eventually saw him later in the day.

I moved from the MRI place to the neurologist place and sorted out yet another registration by 15:29 hours. Then another time wasting wait commenced. Honestly I thought of bringing another novel with me before I left home, seeing that I am close to finishing the novel I am currently reading, but I didn't, naively thinking they can't always be that bad.

Well, unfortunately, they sure can. I checked the screen after the 15:29 hours registration, it showed no number in the queue to see the neurologist. So I had to be next, right? I asked, twice, to two different nurses, once at registration, and the other when they called me for blood pressure and weight measurement about 15 minutes after registration, whether the neurologist was already in, and both of them confirmed that he already was.

Fine, I figured the neurologist must be waiting for the MRI scan results. Must be some really gigantic file size coupled with slow computer and slow network connection, that sort of thing. I guess not all institution has the computing and network resource that can transfer 100GB file across the globe in 15 minutes, which I think is already not fast enough with technology nowadays. So ya, must be that.

I finally get to see the neurologist at 16:52 hours, which is strangely similar to the 1.5 hours 'waste of my life' time period earlier in the day. Makes me wonder if the "fantastic" system has this 1.5 hours buffer to the actual appointment time? Hmm...

Anyway, done with the consultation in 4 minutes. The good news is that there's nothing wrong with my MRI scan results, thank goodness. The bad news is that the neurologist hasn't a clue regarding the cause of my headache, so he is referring me to the ophthalmologist next...

Not sure if I am being referred from one to another and undergoing different tests and diagnostics because I am claiming company's medical insurance, but goodness know I am glad I have that medical insurance. I really don't want to know the amount of the medical bill, and it's not even over yet.

I do know I am visiting the hospital on a weekly basis, next appointment is Friday next week, and every singe time my precious time is being wasted away.

Pfft!



Other |runaway rants| category entries.


18 January 2026

- Prelude -


Copyright © 2026 Chin Kung GOH. All rights reserved.
Currently untitled. Edition: 0. Revision: 1. Sequence reference: 0.1.

This is a work of fiction. Unless otherwise indicated, all the names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents in this book are either the product of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

-----

So it's real and not just a saying, that life flashes before our eyes before our imminent death.

That was what happened to me as I was thrown out of the car, through the shattered windscreen, over the side of the bridge, and falling towards the dark water below.

My entire life flashed before me in minute details and sharp clarity, in reverse order, going backward from the most recent incident of that reckless BMW ramming into my car, to that devastating discovery of the betrayal, to the deteriorating relationship and the many episodes of fights, to all those wonderful moments when we were each other's whole world, to meeting her the very first time... The graduation, the schooling years, the childhood, the warmth of mother's embrace, my first breath and first cry announcing my arrival to the world.

A whole lifetime in that few seconds for me to fall that thirty metres, heading straight to a collision with the sea that would break my bones.



Other |fictitious fiction| category entries.


16 January 2026

又一周


五个工作天就这样过去了。应该说是四个半工作天,毕竟拿了半天假去看医生。

我原本还真的是打算看完医生,如果还是正常工作时间内,就继续做点工的。太天真了,那不守时的医生把我整个下午都浪费掉了,回到家已经是傍晚六点多。

在新办公楼建好前,因为办公位不足,每周只需去公司一天。偏偏这星期去了三天,决非我愿。

要知道没有合适的设置,至少两个萤幕,要建热流模型是很低效率的。那些共用的办公室,就没有合适的设置,所以现价段我去公司上班,反而是比家里上班还低效率的。

两天去公司是为了处理被 IT 搞砸,但还是要给钱他们修复的电脑。真的不知道这是什么歪理,根本就是欺诈咯。而且明明就是十分钟可以解决的事,非要复杂化、拖延,害我要分开去两天。每次都给他们耗费掉整个早上,那样就浪费了我两个半天,加起来就是一整个工作天的时间。

有交通拥堵敏感症的我,每次去公司都是早上七点(或之前)就到公司的。但那些 IT 的同事,就不能正常上班时间八点,或八点到九点之间就来解决我电脑的问题的,非要十点多十一点才肯应酬我。

第三个需要去公司的天,是为了那要面对面的大会议。整整半天的大会议。

这星期也这么巧有两个都不知道该叫庆功宴还是慰劳餐的聚餐。一个是经理自费请的,另一个则是大会议后公司请的。是那种两个小时左右的聚餐,所以加上来回车程又半个工作天不见了。

半天被医生浪费了,一天被 IT 的同事浪费了,半天大会议,半天聚餐,就这样五个工作天就只剩下两天半…

我可有工作要做、报告要交的啊!

真的被搞得很烦躁。>_<



随兴随想 |系列|


12 January 2026

Meaningless system, part deux


Took half day leave today, for another follow up appointment after the medical check up back in December, to consult a specialist. A neurologist this time.

Yes, so many things wrong with me. So weak. =(

The appointment was made in December, for 15:30 hours today. Being a time conscious person, naturally I arrived well before the appointment time. After the registration and sorting out the guarantee letter, I got sent to the clinic, only to have the nurses chatting and doing nothing there turned me back to the waiting area.

Well, I was early and it's not the appointment time yet. Fair, I will wait even though all three of them were doing nothing.

So I took out my novel and started reading. About 15 minutes after the appointment time, I was called to get my weight and blood pressure measured. Then asked to wait some more.

So I waited. And waited. And waited some more.

See, they gave me a slip with a number, and they have that screen showing the doctor's waiting list. About 1.5 hours after my appointment time I started checking the screen, and noticed that it showed the number before mine was with the doctor, so I should be next.

At ten minutes to 17:30 hours I went to ask the nurses whether the doctor was in, and that I have been waiting for close to two hours. They said the doctor was in, but arrived late. The doctor only works there on Monday and Thursday afternoon.

Eventually at 17:31 hours, two hours and one minute after my appointment time, the doctor was finally ready to see me. Really, no thanks for wasting my time.

The consultation took about 6 minutes. I am absolutely fine with that, no need to waste time, as it's the same deal with my previous visit to the nephrologist, who basically said "I am not sure, let's do another blood test", while this time the neurologist said "I am not sure, let's do a MRI".

Nothing wrong with needing more information for proper diagnostic. The thing that's really broken is the appointment system, or the doctor who cannot follow the appointment system, having no respect for other people's time.

Pfft!



Other |runaway rants| category entries.


09 January 2026

Bad day


There are good days, and there are bad days.

Today, it's definitely a bad day.

At least in regards to work. Actually, besides work too.

Super inefficient, and what an exhausted mind.

Got very little done, and frustrated because of that. Contemplating whether I have to work overtime this weekend. That would be the first OT for 2026 if it happened.

So tired. Hit the bed after I ended the work day. The nap didn't really help, still tired now.

Doesn't seem like being able to do anything, to get anything done.



Other |temperamental thoughts| category entries.