The cycle

The eve of the Horse year.

Happy Chinese New Year to all who celebrate and are capable of enjoying it.

I would really love to throw myself into the celebration, the enjoyment, the indulgence.

But instead I am in a self preservation mode. Feel like I am just trying to survive.

I will count myself lucky if I could recover by the end of the Chinese New Year break.

Sure feel like I am thoroughly, irrecoverably broken.

Life sure sucks for me now.

Solitude

Finally, a fruitful day.

Work wise, at least.

And ironically, it's when I work alone that everything goes smoothly.

Don't get me wrong, I am not dissing my colleague, who is truly invaluable. It's a joined effort, only things don't go smoothly when both of us are working together at the module.

When I was off sick he got things done, today when he was working elsewhere I got all fifteen cases done.

I joked that it's due to our "8 words" (BaZi) don't match. =P

After two weeks of frustration, I am just mightily glad of the progress today. Final-freaking-ly.

So, I am better off working alone huh?

Hmm... sure matches with what I feel about my life lately though.

Is this... a sign?

Strange to be feeling like this so close to Chinese New Year, but I really do feel that I am better off in solitary.

After all, the one person we can ultimately depend on, is ourselves.

Unless one has preverse self-harming habit, it's almost always the others who hurt us. If we could build our inner fences thick and tall, providing that solitary sanctuary, we could shield ourselves from unwanted harm, disappointments, and pain.

Life is simpler that way.

Chinese New Year is just around the corner

Wifey collected the ordered new year cookies and snacks today.

Can't help but feel happy seeing the cookies and snacks, even though I am still having sore throat and a rather sexy voice.

Erm... sexy, ya...

Anyway, when I told wifey about my happy feeling seeing the cookies, she said,

"Yea, but definitely not happy when paying for them."

Oh well.

There is always kangkung I suppose.

 

Got time?

A major factor in deciding whether you have time for a task, thing, or person, is the position of said task, thing, or person on your priority list.

We devote our time to things higher on the priority list, it's just a fact of life.

失声记

今天托吉打苏丹生日补假的福，大伙一块儿去唱歌。

这可是几个星期前就已相约好的呢。

真的好开心有一群喜欢一起唱歌的朋友。

但是齁，馋嘴的我几天前吃个喉咙痛来，真是的。

早上起身后喉咙还是不适的，犹豫不决要去唱歌否。

最终还是决定去了，毕竟大多数的人可是从北海塞车过来的。

去陪坐也好啦，和这伙人在一块总是欢笑连连的嘛。

蛮热情一点都不冷的冰冰小妹要了个贵宾房，里头除了唱歌还有得玩电视游戏的。

也不知是好还是坏，玩电视游戏的人常常比唱歌的人还要大声。

但他们玩游戏的表情和仪态真的很搞笑咯。

由于人陆陆续续才到达和那电视游戏的缘故，原本打算陪坐的我竟然被拉去唱开始的几首歌。

所以到大伙都到齐时我已经是半条死尸状态…

状况不佳，上气不接下气的唱完「伤心的人别听慢歌」；

搞砸了「天后」、「势在必行」等歌；

声音比较刚强的朋友一同唱「可惜不是你」，失去了那柔柔的悲情感；

「小情歌」开始唱得有点沙哑；

到最后把「领悟」唱得好烂；

很勉强的唱完「我很丑，可是我很温柔」，可是这首歌一定要唱；

很遗憾的「遗憾」没有来得及播出；

很庆幸那阴魂不散的「煎熬」也来不及播出。

虽然失声了，但那还是段充满欢笑的时光。

随兴随想 |系列|

生活点滴：天真无牙·爱的代价

大瓜在换牙的年龄，连日掉了几颗牙齿。

比较逗趣的是，他的两颗大门牙相隔一天掉了，所以他现在发音是漏气的，嘿。 =P

更可爱的是他现在的笑容，既天真无邪也天真无牙，呵呵！ ^_^

*****

面子书上开始有准备过农历新年的照片出现，其中叫我垂涎的是炸螃蟹条。

老婆仔得知后昨天为我炸了一些（是的，被爱是幸福的）。

谢谢你老婆仔！ ^_^

新鲜出炉的炸螃蟹条是有满满的爱的，是美味可口的…

…也是会做人喉咙痛的。 >_<

天啊！我过几天要去飙歌的嘞。

老婆仔今天带点笑的说：“是我的爱害了你。”

不是啦，都是我自己馋嘴惹的祸。 =(

生活点滴 |系列|

宅日随想

公假

宅在家里

累

有点病病的

心情灰灰的

*****

懒洋洋的一天

无精打采

身体乏力

一整天尝试休息

但唯有两个瓜到游乐场时才真的有睡到

*****

老婆仔今天做面包

给家里带来很温馨的气息

新鲜出炉热烘烘的面包

最爽口美味

赞！

*****

两周才终于看完今年第一本书

真的是越来越慢

重读《龙枪》系列

对有金鱼记忆的我

这仿佛是新书的感觉

*****

无意间翻看了过去的一些照片

几年前去澳洲的点滴

两个瓜还小的时候

真的是小时比较可爱

他们怎么长大得那么快？

随兴随想 |系列|

Review: 2013 Resolutions & Wishes

How did I do for my 2013's?

Er... let's just say I am keeping up with the trend. -_-

- be a better father: FAILED

Wifey's comment late in 2013, basically saying I am not a good father, pretty much sealed it. I did put in effort especially in the beginning of the year, but resigned to just being the provider after.

- be a better husband: ?

This one can only be judged by wifey, but I haven't got feedback from her since setting the resolution. Oh well.

- socialise more: PARTIAL SUCCESS

I am giving myself an 'okay' here since I think I got slightly better and am less antisocial. Made some new friends, went out more, and also put in some effort to socialise.

- read more novels than 2012: FAILED

Read 31 books in 2012, only managed 29 in 2013. Dammit.

- get back to photography: PARTIAL SUCCESS

Started out good but quickly lost steam, then picked up towards the end of the year. Did really put some effort into polishing the photography skill and took some passable photos. I just don't have the motivation to do this on my own.

- write a story, any length, any language: FAILED

Laziness has no cure. (slacker point +1) I have a few half-cooked chapters though.

3 fails, 2 partial success (let's make that 1 success), and 1 unknown out of 6. So that's 3/6 fails and 1/6 success, i.e. FAIL.

Not surprisingly, I failed again in 2013. -_-

As for 2014...

... forget it!

I have a few in mind, I just don't want to list them down anymore so even if I failed again at the end of the year, there will be no record. =P

As a side note, I did better in terms of not working overtime. OT count: 38 times in 2012 while 31 times in 2013, yay! Though of course the price was I now turn on my laptop to work at home every single work night, and sometimes weekend...

心的频道：不良心境

最近心境不是很好

常常纳闷

脾气也不太好

很容易就烦躁

自己都觉得自己很难相处

真是苦了身旁的家人朋友

对工作有很消极的态度

总是以很负面的心态去上班

有时会有想把东西搞砸的念头

让老板把我调职

或希望产品被取消

那我就不用陷在这不悦的处境

但又过不了自己想要成功的意念

不想要工作生涯里有不合格的记录

矛盾啊矛盾…

当然一直都有那需要养家的责任感

工作行情不好

有工就要做

真是“找食”不易啊！

唉…

怎么野心不大

没有想要高攀

就只是要份安稳、自己有兴趣的工作

过个简简单单的生活

也这么难？

心的频道 |系列|

New year, new computer

My 4th computer, also known as my gaming machine, decided to quit on the last day of 2013.

Since I suffer serious withdrawal without my gaming machine, it's of utmost importance to get the computer fixed, or get a new one.

Or both. =P

Home finance minister (also known as wifey) has given the green light to build a new computer using the i7-3770K chip I have, so I went shopping on New Year's day after attending the R.O.M. of a dear friend. ^_^

components of my new gaming machine

I also identified the culprit component that caused my 4th computer to stop working, replaced it, and upgraded it to 4GB of memory. It's still a capable computer for most games really.

The 4th computer now replaced the old Core 2 Duo (not one of my gaming machines) that resides in the lounge with the hope that wifey will start playing games with me again.

One can hope.

the graphic card has three fans for cooling, don't play play

My 5th gaming machine, called SoulBot-V following the naming convention since my very first computer, has 8GB of DDR3 1600MHz memory and two 500GB of SATA hard disks. Not SSD because I am poor.

And yes, two 500GB instead of one 1TB because they were seperate purchases and because I moved hard disks around. ^_^

As a gaming machine, the graphic card is the costly component. To get it within the budget though, I couldn't go for the best on offer so I went with Sapphire Radeon Toxic R9 270X 2GB GDDR5 instead.

I didn't go with GeForce this time round and decided to trust the shop owner bang for buck recommendation using Radeon. Hope I won't regret this.

liquid cooling system for my CPU ^_^

Despite the many fans, I am surprised it's a quiet system. Maybe since the fans are still new and clean without dust and grime. =P

The major pain I have with the system, is the OS. First time using Windows 8, and it's... da sucks! >_<

Hope it will be better when I get more used to it, but first time user experience sure is craptastic.

lights up like a Christmas tree with red, blue and yellow =P

Gaming machine is for gaming, blogging, surfing the net, watching movies and listening to music. So I resisted a few days before I finally installed Microsoft Office on it, needed it for the various databases I created in Excel.

Oh well, still felt like I have soiled my gaming machine by installing such work-like software. Sorry SoulBot-V, I have a strange fondness of keeping track of stuff and I need my databases. =(

looks like an angry metal beast with raging fire within

Anyway, I am a happy gamer once again with the new toy. If only I have more time for gaming, that is.

2013 in numbers

125 blog entries. I am consistent.

180 days of commute to ulu place recorded, which covered 18058.3 kilometres, giving an average of 100.3 kilometres per day.

49 petrol filling recorded. My 6.5 years MyVi is still giving an average of 15.2 kilometre per litre of petrol.

63 badminton sessions attended, out of 82 that happened.

29 novels read. 12.6 days for a book, I am getting slower over the years. Not good. =(

7 months since I own a smartphone. As predicted, I used the apps way more than I used the phone function. Gone to the dark side, I have.

36, 9, 6, 4, for my own reference.

This entry wasn't posted on the last day of 2013 thanks to my computer, which decided to quit on that very day after 3+ years of service. I eventually identified and got rid of the problematic component and revived the computer, but that happened in the first day of 2014.